[i习作temp] argument145［八月未央AW小组］第十一次作业(7月16日) [复制链接]

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发表于 2008-7-19 15:19:36 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

TOPIC: ARGUMENT145 - A new study collected data that shows that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. It is well known that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea. The interruption of breathing wakes the person-often so briefly that the waking goes unnoticed-and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. Anyone who snores, therefore, should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more.
WORDS: 467 TIME: 00:30:00 DATE: 2008-7-19 9:23:20

In this argument, the author claims that people who snore are easily to gain weight, so they should try to eat less and exercise more. The author commits several logical flaws in reaching this conclusion. They are discussed as follows.

The author bases the contention that snore puts on weight on the assumption that the sleep apnea would result in people too tired to exercise, which is unconvincing. Snore can cause sleep apnea; however, this wake is too short to get notice according to the argument. Thus could this short wake make people feel tired? It is possible that since it is very short, it affects little to the quality of sleep. Then people may not suffer tiring next day. In addition, if it can really cause tiredness, does it make people so exhausted that they cannot do exercise? It is possible that although people feel tired, it could not prevent them exercising. Or people may guess it is due to their lack of exercise that they feel so tired, so they do more exercise than before. Without ruling out those possibilities, the author is unconvincing.

Even assuming that people who snore are really more likely to gain weight, it is possible that other factors except snore or sleep apnea results in it. Maybe fat people are more likely to snore, which seems a common sense that affects the scientists' research in the correlation between people's weight and whether they snore. It is also possible that not the sleep apnea, but some other factors, such as neurotic pressure brought about by snoring causes that. The author should do more research before the conclusion is made.

To help people who snore to keep fit, the author suggests that they should eat less and exercise more. However, whether the two suggestions can really do favor to it remains to doubt. If people eat less, they may feel hungry during their sleep and make them hard to get sleep. Because of this insomnia, more healthy problems besides gaining weight may occur, which bring people more pains. In addition, since the argument tells us that people who snore are too tired to exercise, how can they do more exercise according to the advice of the author? If they try their best to do more exercise, which causes exhaustion, it is possible that they may snore more frequently and wake more times than normal times, which results in gaining more weight. Without a specific research on whether the two methods the author offered can do help, the author is unpersuasive.

In sum, the author's evidence does not warrant the conclusion. To bolster the argument, the author should provide evidence that snore help people gain weight because of the sleep apnea. The author should also prove that eating less and exercise more can help people who snore keep fit.

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zuominyu87
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发表于 2008-7-20 17:15:02 |只看该作者

In this argument, the author claims that people who snore are easily to gain weight, so they should try to eat less and exercise more. The author commits several logical flaws in reaching this conclusion. They are discussed as follows.

The author bases the contention that snore puts on weight on the assumption that the sleep apnea would result in people too tired to exercise, which is unconvincing. Snore can cause sleep apnea; however, this wake is too short to get notice according to the argument. Thus could this short wake make people feel tired? It is possible that since it is very short, it affects little to the quality of sleep. Then people may not suffer tiring next day. In addition, if it can really cause tiredness, does it make people so exhausted that they cannot do exercise? It is possible that although people feel tired, it could not prevent them exercising. Or people may guess it is due to their lack of exercise that they feel so tired, so they do more exercise than before. Without ruling out those possibilities, the author is unconvincing.

Even assuming that people who snore are really more likely to gain weight, it is possible that other factors except snore or sleep apnea results in it. Maybe fat people are more likely to snore, which seems a common sense that affects the scientists' research in the correlation between people's weight and whether they snore(虽然这确实是一种可能性,但是就跟前面这句话没什么联系了,所以要再考虑一下). It is also possible that not the sleep apnea, but some other factors, such as neurotic pressure brought about by snoring causes that. The author should do more research before the conclusion is made.(这一个就很不错)

To help people who snore to keep fit, the author suggests that they should eat less and exercise more. However, whether the two suggestions can really do favor to it remains to doubt. If people eat less, they may feel hungry during their sleep and make them hard to get sleep(asleep). Because of this insomnia, more healthy problems besides gaining weight may occur, which bring people more pains. In addition, since the argument tells us that people who snore are too tired to exercise, how can they do more exercise according to the advice of the author? If they try their best to do more exercise, which causes exhaustion, it is possible that they may snore more frequently and wake more times than normal times, which results in gaining more weight. Without a specific research on whether the two methods the author offered can do help, the author is unpersuasive.

In sum, the author's evidence does not warrant the conclusion. To bolster the argument, the author should provide evidence that snore help people gain weight because of the sleep apnea. The author should also prove that eating less and exercise more can help people who snore keep fit.

总体来说很不错了，所有找出的错误都分析得很透彻，而且表达也清晰，没什么错误，加油

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