[i习作temp] ISSUE76[八月未央AW小组]第十五次作业(7.23) [复制链接]

pupsnoopy
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2008-7-23 14:06:24 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

TOPIC: ISSUE76 - "Truly profound thinkers and highly creative artists are always out of step with their time and their society."
WORDS: 548 TIME: 0:45:00 DATE: 2008-7-23

Reviewing history we my find social development is tightly tied with the great talents, such as profound thinkers and highly creative artists, and most of them have brilliant ideas far beyond their contemporaries. Many people think their ideas have no value since they cannot be accepted immediately, however in my opinion, it is these ideas inject fresh blood to our society, thus we could enjoy a unprecedented prosperity than ever before.

When it comes to the realm of art, we may find great artist always lead people to a high level in spiritual world. Art, which is the main channel to express our feeling, is not only used to amuse people, but also teach something of beauty as well as the essence of humanity. Highly creative artists usually have profound understand about such things; There may be no difference of a object in their mind and the others', however, their creative mind may lead to different feeling, which may also help to express their mind in a quite strange way. It is understandable that people in their time hardly to accept their work, even if they are well educated. History provides us myriad of evidence which shows great artists usually enjoy their reputation after death. Van Goah, the famous painter, fought with poverty in his whole life, since his works were regarded as scribble. Fortunately, after his death, the following generation understand the value of his paint. For example, sunflower, one of his works, shows us a fantastic sight, form which we know the vitality of life. Now it is regarded as the most precious artic work allover the world.

Also, the great philosophers have so great ideas that his contemporaries cannot fully understand, not metion to receive it. The Chinese philosopher, Confucius, hold a view that people is the basic of society; their energy promote the society to go ahead, thus emperors should tries their best to bring people welfare rather than living in luxury. What's more, he though education is important than criminal laws, since the former one will help people have high moral and ethic standard which played the key role in preventing crime. Unfortunately, his ideas were not appreciated by the contemporary kings. Till hundreds of years have passed, his minds were accepted as the main ideas to rule the country. Now, Confucius' ideas are honored as the resource of the Eastern philosophy system.

Lastly, let's turn our sight to the realm of since. As a great scientist, one should have keen vision to find the law of the nature, however, their theory cannot be fully understood immediately because of the limited knowledge and technology. When Bruno spread Copernicus's assumption that sun is the centre of universe, everyone thought he was crazy. The Church even regarded him as a heresy, and sentenced him to be burned. Now, we honor this great scientist just because of his resistance to pursue the truth.

To sum up, great ideas cannot be accepted by the contemporaries since they always far beyond the understanding of them. Also, the limited technology could not verify the great ideas in a short time. However, our society have got great benefit form them, we should always remember those who provided promote the development of society by their intelligence, brave and creative ideas.

[ 本帖最后由 pupsnoopy 于 2008-7-24 15:43 编辑 ]

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朝华夕拾
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沙发

发表于 2008-7-24 20:59:53 |只看该作者

Reviewing history we may find social development is tightly tied with the great talents, such as profound thinkers and highly creative artists, and most of them have brilliant ideas far beyond their contemporaries. Many people think their ideas have no value since they cannot be accepted immediately, however in my opinion, it is these ideas inject fresh blood to our society, thus we could enjoy an unprecedented prosperity than ever before.（开头不错，起承转合全有了。ps.idea同义词有很多，可以用来替换,point,view,thought,conception,perspective…）

When it comes to the realm of art, we may find great artists always lead people to a high level in spiritual world. Art, which is the main channel to express our feeling, is not only used to amuse people, but also teach something of beauty as well as the essence of humanity.(splendid!) Highly creative artists usually have profound understand about such things; There(there不管是冒号后还是分好后，都要用小写) may be no difference of a object in their mind and the others', however, their creative mind may lead to different feeling, which may also help to express their mind in a quite strange way.（不如说：他们看到的接收到的和常人无异，但是体会到的表达出来的却与众不同） It is understandable that people in their time hardly to accept their work, even if they are well educated. History provides us myriad of evidence which shows great artists usually enjoy their reputation after death. Van Goah, the famous painter, fought with poverty in his whole life, since（改为though比较好） his works were regarded as scribble. Fortunately, after his death, the following generation understand the value of his paint. For example, sunflower, one of his works, （再跟一句，说“一度被认为是垃圾”，而他的作品正是超越了当时人们的审美能力，现在如何如河，所以我的观点是站得住脚的）shows us a fantastic sight, form which we know the vitality of life. Now it is regarded as the most precious artic work allover the world.

Also, the great philosophers have so great ideas that his contemporaries cannot fully understand, not metion to receive（accept） it(them). The Chinese philosopher, Confucius, hold a view that people is the basic of society; their energy promote the society to go ahead, thus emperors should tries their best to bring people welfare rather than living in luxury(句式造成歧义，是“民不该淫逸”还是“君不该淫逸”). What's more, he thought education is important than criminal laws, since the former one will help people have high moral and ethic standard which played the key role in preventing crime. Unfortunately, his ideas were （私自加的so advanced to people at that time that they were）not appreciated by the contemporary kings. Till hundreds of years have passed, his minds were accepted as the main ideas to rule the country. Now, Confucius' ideas are honored as the resource of the Eastern philosophy system.

Lastly, let's turn our sight to the realm of since（TS不许错！！！）. As a great scientist, one should have keen vision to find the law of the nature, however, their theory cannot be fully understood immediately because of the limited knowledge and technology (私自加的in a certain period). When Bruno spread Copernicus's assumption that sun is the centre of universe, everyone thought he was crazy. The Church even regarded him as a heresy, and sentenced him to be burned. Now, we honor this great scientist just because of his resistance(insistance意思正好相反了…) to pursue the truth.

To sum up, great ideas cannot be accepted by the contemporaries since they always far beyond the understanding of them. Also, the limited technology could not verify the great ideas in a short time. However, our society have got great benefit form them, we should always remember those who provided promote the development of society by their intelligence, brave and creative ideas.（光remember还不够~深化一下，要在标新立异的观点面前给予宽容，和更多的保护，so that ……）

文章已经很有样子了，在整体把握没有问题的前提下，注意细节，尤其每段的TS，不允许有任何错误。
没更多别的要说的了，正常发挥，你就是4+。 hoho~加油~

[ 本帖最后由朝华夕拾于 2008-7-24 21:30 编辑 ]

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yangsure
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板凳

发表于 2008-7-24 21:29:02 |只看该作者

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TOPIC: ISSUE76 - "Truly profound thinkers and highly creative artists are always out of step with their time and their society."
WORDS: 548 TIME: 0:45:00 DATE: 2008-7-23

Reviewing history we my（may） find social development is tightly tied with the great talents, such as profound thinkers and highly creative artists, and most of them have brilliant ideas far beyond their contemporaries. Many people think their ideas have no value since they(指代不明) cannot be accepted immediately, however， in my opinion, it is these ideas inject fresh blood to our society（强调句吧，语法错误。）, thus we could enjoy a（an） unprecedented prosperity than ever before.

When it comes to the realm of art(arts), we may find great artists always lead people to a high level in spiritual world. Arts, which is the main channel to express our feeling, is (not only) used to not only amuse people, but also teach something of beauty as well as the essence of humanity. Highly creative artists usually have profound understand(-ing) about such things; There may be no difference of a object in their mind and the others', however, their creative mind may lead to different feelings, which may also help to express their mind in a quite strange way. It is understandable that people in their time hardly to accept their work, even if they are well educated. History provides us a myriad of evidences which show great artists usually enjoy their reputation after death. Van Goah, the famous painter, fought with(against) poverty in his whole life, since his works were regarded as scribble. Fortunately,(用的不当，对当事人来说好像不太fortunate,用转折意味的词会比较好吧) after his death, the following generation understand the value of his paint（-ings）. For example, sunflower, one of his works, shows us a fantastic sight, form which we know the vitality of life. Now it is regarded as the most precious artic work all over the world.(最好不要以例子结尾，其实不仅对整篇文章来说有开头和结尾，对每段也一样)

Also, the great philosophers have so great ideas that his contemporaries cannot fully understand, not metion to receive（accept） it. The Chinese philosopher, Confucius, hold a view that people is the basic of society; their energy promote the society to go ahead, thus emperors should tries(try) their best to bring people welfare rather than living in luxury. What's more, he though education is important than criminal laws, since the former one will help people have high moral and ethic standard which played the key role in preventing (from) crime. Unfortunately, his ideas were not appreciated by the contemporary kings. Till hundreds of years have passed, his minds were accepted as the main ideas to rule the country.(建议用not until倒装句式) Now, Confucius' ideas are honored as the resource of the Eastern philosophy system.

Lastly, let's turn our sight to the realm of since. As a great scientist, one should have keen vision to find the law of the nature, however, their theory cannot be fully understood immediately because of the limited knowledge and technology. When Bruno spread（???challenge?） Copernicus's assumption that sun is the centre of universe, everyone thought he was crazy. The Church even regarded him as a heresy, and sentenced him to be burned(sentenced to death/ he was burnt to death). Now, we honor this great scientist just because of his resistance(persistence) to pursue the truth.

To sum up, great ideas cannot be accepted by the contemporaries since they(指代不明) always far beyond the understanding of them（指代不明）. Also, the limited technology could not verify the great ideas in a short time. However, our society have got great benefit(benefited a lot) form them, we should always remember those who provided （delete）promoted the development of society by their intelligence, brave(n.) and creative ideas.

总体来说相当不错，这类题目比较好写，好像跟咱们第一次作业I36如出一辙，分领域写不会跑题，有大量例证字数没问题，再注意一下细节就更好了，Good luck tomorrow.

[ 本帖最后由 yangsure 于 2008-7-24 21:30 编辑 ]

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