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[求助] 第一篇作文,请教大家评阅后给个复习意见吧 [复制链接]

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发表于 2008-12-6 14:35:22 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
作文水平很烂,想请教大家看看我初次作文。我也好针对这个弄了复习计划。谢谢了

With the development of modern socity, cars become an important transportation. Undoubtedly, cars play an important role in our lives. However, facing the limited resources in the world, today we have to reduce employ of unrenewed material, such as gas, oil and coal. In my opinon, reducing the use of cars could be an excellent way of solving this problems, therefore, I believe cars will be used less after 20 years. There are several reasons to support my point.
  As we known, fossile fuels are unrenewed material, the best way of protecting it just limits its application. In our daily life, these fuels are cruial parts for our society. For example, Oil could be made of plastic, rubber, all kind of equipments and so on. Indeed, I could say we couldn't live in this modern times without it. However, we should recognize it couldn't be reproduced in such conditions, it is so precious that we have to make a good plan to use it, making the best contribution. In fact, cars are one of the most consumed oil tools, which we could control to the lowest degree. Moreover, cars can be replaced by bus sevices.
  In additton, cars make our traffic more crowded. Many of us often complain the traffic jar, especilally, when we go to work. We admitted having a car makes life more convenient in the past, but this situation has been converted completedly. Because of too many cars in the road, we take more time to go somewhere.
  Finally, mass use of cars increase air pollution. Our scientists constantly worry about many enviroment problems, air pollution is definitly one of the most serious problems. If cars' factories induce  their production, the quality of air will be better than now. Although, scientists always search new material to replace oil, unfortunately, the best one doesn't be found so far.
  In conclusion, cars are not only one of the most consuming oil tools,  but also do cars make our traffic more crowded and produce air pollution, all of these will make cars consuming reduce in 20 years later. For us, with a positve attitude, the rewards and benefits of reducing cars far outweighed the disadvantages.
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发表于 2008-12-6 15:01:51 |只看该作者
有待加强....

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RE: 第一篇作文,请教大家评阅后给个复习意见吧 [修改]
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第一篇作文,请教大家评阅后给个复习意见吧
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-899675-1-1.html
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