[活动] 【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组天泽的第四次作业】 [复制链接]

天泽
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电梯直达

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发表于 2009-2-14 21:23:52 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

It is better for students at university or in college to choose difficult classes even if they cannot get top grades.（08.1.13）

While some others might choose the easier ones so as to receive a better grade, an undergraduate would prefer to take difficult classes with the purpose of learning more even if they cannot get a high mark, for the latter part of which I approve.

First, grades, which only respect the aspect of a student’s ability of taking exam, don’t indicate everything. For example, one of my classmates in high school was always in the top 3 each term, having few things except studies known, with his clothes washed by his mother and so on. Somebody
will argue that giving marks is a good method to examine how well a student learns. However, those who don’t stand out in the exam may also know the knowledge well for they may be good at doing experiments or writing paper.

Additionally, difficult classes will develop our thoughts; extend our knowledge better, compared with those full of skin-deep contents. As to the students of the CKC College, the honored college in our university, most of the classes they took in the past 2 years are more difficult than the classes open to students in other colleges. Even though learned hard, they
sometimes also get low marks. However, they get into better careers compared with students in other college after graduate. For instance, the number of students going abroad after graduate in CKC
College is the largest in our university. In the other hand some other graduate who choose to work mostly get into the multinational enterprises to begin their career, while those students who took easy classes mainly come to some little companies or even out of work though they may got high grades when they were undergraduates.

In sum, I agree that taking difficult classes gives more to a student, no matter what grades he/she
gets in the exam for the reason that mark is not the most important thing and hard classes can afford us more space to think and a better career after we graduate. The most essential thing, in my opinion, is what we have learned from the classes, not what kind of grades we get.

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水龙娃娃
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沙发

发表于 2009-2-15 16:31:11 |只看该作者

While some others might choose the easier ones so as to receive a better grade, an undergraduate would prefer to take difficult classes with the purpose of learning more even if they cannot get a high mark, for the latter part of which I approve.

First, grades, which only respect the aspect of a student’s ability of taking exam, don’t indicate everything. For example, one of my classmates in high school was always in the top 3 each term, having few things except studies known, with his clothes washed by his mother and so on. Somebody will argue that giving marks is a good method to examine how well a student learns. However, those who don’t stand out in the exam may also know the knowledge well for they may be good at doing experiments or writing paper.

Additionally, difficult classes will develop our thoughts; extend our knowledge better, compared with those full of skin-deep contents. As to the students of the CKC College, the honored college in our university, most of the classes they took in the past 2 years are more difficult than the classes open to students in other colleges. Even though learned hard, they sometimes also get low marks. However, they get into better careers compared with students in other college after graduate. For instance, the number of students going abroad after graduate in CKC
College is the largest in our university. In the other hand (on the other hand)some other graduate(graduates) who choose to work mostly get into the multinational enterprises to begin their career, while those students who took easy classes mainly come to some little companies or even out of work though they may got high grades when they were undergraduates.
In sum, I agree that taking difficult classes gives more to a student, no matter what grades he/she gets in the exam for the reason that mark is not the most important thing and hard classes can afford us more space to think and a better career after we graduate. The most essential thing, in my opinion, is what we have learned from the classes, not what kind of grades we get。

文章的句子流畅，文字的掌控力较好。都在偶之上，偶要好好学习～～很喜欢第一段论点的提出方式。
提几点小建议：
1.第二段的例子如果是大学的就好了，因为毕竟题目给的是讨论“大学生”选择难的课程是否更好。这样逻辑上的衔接更紧，说服力也更强。另外，该段的重点放在了强调“分数不是最终要的”，个人觉得如果强调能学到更多，并举出翔实的例子会更贴近主题。
2.第三段“For instance, the number of students going abroad after graduate in College is the largest in our university. In the other hand some other graduate who choose to work mostly get into the multinational enterprises to begin their career。。。。”作者这两句应该是并列关系吧。这两句的衔接需要再斟酌一下，in the other hand 用法错误，on the other hand 一般是与on one hand 同时出现。
PS：谢谢天泽同学上次的批改，很受教。加油哈～～:loveliness:

没有翅膀，我们依旧可以飞上天空

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ilovesherry
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板凳

发表于 2009-2-15 17:25:42 |只看该作者

While some others might choose the easier ones so as to receive a better grade, an undergraduate would prefer to take difficult classes with the purpose of learning more even if they（和an undergraduate不搭配） cannot get a high mark, for the latter part of which I approve

First, grades, which only respect the aspect of a student’s ability of taking exam, don’t indicate everything. For example, one of my classmates in high school was always in the top 3 each term, having few things except studies known, with his clothes washed by his mother and so on. Somebody will argue that giving marks is a good method to examine how well a student learns. However, those who don’t stand out in the exam may also know the knowledge well for they may be good at doing experiments or writing paper.
分数不能代表一切，条理清晰，论断清楚，例证用的也好~
Additionally, difficult classes will develop our thoughts; extend our knowledge better, compared with those full of skin-deep contents. As to the students of the CKC College, the honored college in our university, most of the classes they took in the past 2 years are more difficult than the classes open to students in other colleges. Even though learned hard, they sometimes also get low marks. However, they get into better careers compared with students in other college after graduate. For instance, the number of students going abroad after graduate in CKC College is the largest in our university. In the other hand some other graduates who choose to work mostly get into the multinational enterprises to begin their career, while those students who took easy classes mainly come to some little companies or even out of work though they may got high grades when they were undergraduates.

In sum, I agree that taking difficult classes gives more to a student, no matter what grades he/she gets in the exam for the reason that mark is not the most important thing and hard classes can afford us more space to think and a better career after we graduate. The most essential thing, in my opinion, is what we have learned from the classes, not what kind of grades we get.

天泽同学写的东西真的很好~我都没有勇气评论啊，先学习了~
有一点，我觉得first,additionally,都在说明一个问题：分数不能代表一切。可以再分出一段来写一个其他论点~
加油~

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