[i习作temp] Issue16 [快刀杀鸡]7/14作业by py186 [复制链接]

py186 UID：2516112 py186 当前离线最后登录 2010-8-25 在线时间 13 小时寄托币 110 声望 0 注册时间 2008-7-14 阅读权限 5 帖子 0 精华 0 积分 63 UID 2516112 禁止发言声望 0 寄托币 110 注册时间 2008-7-14 精华 0 帖子 0 关注TA 加好友标签发消息	电梯直达楼主发表于 2009-7-15 00:38:51 \|只看该作者 \|倒序浏览提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽 U大爷的, 快刀杀鸡队, 午夜屠鸡男
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clemmensen
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沙发

发表于 2009-7-15 15:04:14 |只看该作者

1. 便利和奢华是现在生活的体现，是科技进步的体现，也是推进人类科技文明社会前进的动力，其本身是没有坏处的。

2.但是不可否认人们依赖便利的现代生活而丧失了各个方面的能力，阻碍了人们成为真正强大和独立的个体。

3.现代生活的奢华和便利不错，错在人们过于的依赖与它。个人的品行决定他自己是否能变得强大，合理利用现代生活带来的便利才能使人变得彪悍

Do luxuries and convenience life impede people from developing into strong and independent individuals? In my opinion, people enjoy the contemporary life that they lose something rather than the life style undermines people's character or physical form. Thus, the contemporary life is not entirely harmless.

Admittedly, the development science and technology contribute us a convenience and luxuries (convenient and luxury) life which is not harmful. First consider automobile, on one hand it serves to enhance the transport efficiency. In the factory, the transportation played a vital role which decided the market and cost (好像没必要用过去时). On the other hand, automobile take us convenience (convenient) daily life. In the ancient time, it may (might) take a long time for individuals to go to another country. For (?) now we can drive to anywhere we want. Secondly, consider the modern medicine. Ignorance, superstition and undeveloped technology prevent(ed) our ancestor from benefiting from modern medicine that (so that) most of death are caused by it. In now days(没有这种用法), the modern medicine can cure most of the sickness which (so that it) has increased man's life span. Thirdly, the modern communication equipment help us enhance working efficiency, besides, it also provides a communication platform.

In contrast, on the other side too much depend on convenience life who lose them self (themselves)这句感觉不太通顺、没有谓语, the modern life serve to erode our mental and physical condition. Take automobile for example, besides it bring us convenience, cars became to(删去) the first killer in the contemporary life. Every year the death of accidents is far more than the violence（意思应该是车祸引起的死亡人数远多于暴力犯罪，表达有问题）, now car's end gas（汽车尾气vehicle exhaust） is one of the top three pollutions, besides, too much relying on cars urban population's physical condition is worst(worse) than ever before. Another example is about the more den equipment. Computers truly help us do a lot of things, but more and more people depended(不需要用过去时) on it rather than thinking independently. Twenty years ago, whoever（no matter） students or teachers can thinking independently and at least can spell most(more) alphabet accurate, but the situation is far more(?) different now, when they meet some new topic they ever seem(seen) before internet and 'Google' are the best friends, teacher use it to steal date or information for their paper and students use it to finish their home work, after typing they use software to check it. It is terrible to think about after 20 years what kind of generation we will have. Besides using internet bring about without self thinking and learn, when more and more netter took too much time on internet they ignore family love.

To sum up, the luxuries and convenience of contemporary life are fantastic, but the problem is man overdo rely on it (这句话有三个动词). Individuals character depends themselves truly strong and independent or not. Use it rationally they will give you a little color to see. What a shit! I have a dream, to blow up ETS,thanks.(既然你在KUSO，最后几句就不改了)

我的水平有限，长句阅读有问题，如果改错了请多包涵。感觉作者长句写作有改进余地，比如一句话中出现不止一个动词或没有动词的情况。其次有些词有点在线翻译的风范，比如汽车尾气。希望尽量减少可避免的错误。
逻辑方面，优点，思路清楚明了。缺点，英文表述似乎没有能够完全展现作者真正的想法。
第二段开头 ”Admittedly, the development science and technology contribute us a convenient and luxury
life which is not harmful.” （众所周知，科技给我们带来的方便、奢侈的生活，这种生活没有坏处）一句似乎与作者本意不符，也和第三段对现代生活带来的弊病一段有矛盾。

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