[a习作temp] Argument183【0906G背水一战三月小组】第7次作业 by gy2006211 [复制链接]

gy2006211
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发表于 2009-3-13 21:56:21 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

TOPIC: ARGUMENT183 - Many employees of major United States corporations are fearful that they will lose their jobs in the near future, but this fear is largely unfounded. According to a recent study, a majority of companies expected to make new hires in the coming year, while fewer companies expected to lay off employees. In addition, although it is very disturbing to be laid off, the proliferation of programs and of workshops designed to improve job-finding skills has made being laid off far less painful than it once was.

In the argument, the author claims that people should not worry about losing their jobs. To justify the conclusion, the author cites that a recent study indicates that a majority of companies expected to make new hires in the next year and fewer companies planed to lay off employees. In addition, the author points out that the proliferation of programs and of workshops designed to improve job-finding skills has made being laid of far less painful that it before. A carefully examination of this argument would revel how groundless it.

To begin with, the author does not account for the detail information of the study. For one thing, the author does not claim how many companies were conducted in the study. It is possible that only 10 companies were conducted and 8 of them expected to make new hires. In this circumstance, the "majority of companies" can not indicate the current tendency. For another thing, we are not informed whether the study was conducted anonymous or confidential, if not, it is entirely possible that in order to keep their companies' public impression or keep business secrets they did not tell the truth of their thought. The survey can not convince me without providing more detail information about it.

Secondly, the author provides no evidence to support the assumption that the proliferation of programs and of workshops can increase the ability of people finding jobs. There are a lot of factors that affect whether people would be employed by companies. For instance, the program can hardly increase the ability of communication with customers and workmates. As we know, communication skills are significant in selling products and it is difficult to improve in a short period of time. So if a person shame to speak attend the program, it is hard for him to be a seller after the training too.

Finally, the author unfairly assumes that the circumstance of the job market will remain the same in the future. It is possible that more college students will gradate in the next year. Compared with the new competitors, those who loss jobs might be dogged in an inferior position because of the lacking of new knowledge.

In summary, the author provides an incomplete analysis of the problem, to better support the argument, the author should provide more information about the study, and should set a study about the effect of the program.

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yunfeiyang4ever
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沙发

发表于 2009-3-14 08:55:47 |只看该作者

【原文】
In the argument, the author claims that people should not worry about losing their jobs. To justify the conclusion, the author cites that a recent study indicates that a majority of companies expected to make new hires in the next year and fewer companies planed to lay off employees. In addition, the author points out that the proliferation of programs and of workshops designed to improve job-finding skills has made being laid of(off替换) far less painful that it before.(想想还有没有更简单的表达方式) A carefully examination of this argument would revel(reveal替换) how groundless it is.

To begin with, the author does not account for the detail information of the study. For one thing, the author does not claim how many companies were conducted in the study. It is possible that only 10 companies were conducted(surveyed替换好点儿) and 8 of them expected to make new hires. In this circumstance, the "majority of companies" cannot indicate the current tendency. For another thing, we are not informed whether the study was conducted anonymous or confidential, if not, it is entirely possible that in order to keep their companies' public impression or keep business secrets they did not tell the truth of their thought. The survey cannot convince me without providing more detail information about it.

Secondly, the author provides no evidence to support the assumption that the proliferation of programs and of workshops can increase the ability of people finding jobs. There are a lot of factors that affect whether people would be employed by companies. For instance, the program can hardly increase the ability of communication with customers and workmates. As we know, communication skills are significant in selling products and it is difficult to improve in a short period of time. So if a person shame to speak attend the program, it is hard for him to be a seller after the training too.(题目中的proliferation主要是说能够减轻失业人的痛苦，作者应该从这一点开始攻击，这一段有些偏了)

Finally, the author unfairly assumes that the circumstance of the job market will remain the same in the future. It is possible that more college students will gradate(graduate替换) in the next year. Compared with the new competitors, those who loss jobs might be dogged in an inferior position because of the lacking of new knowledge. (攻击点挺好)

In summary, the author provides an incomplete analysis of the problem. To better support the argument, the author should provide more information about the study, and should set a study about the effect of the program.(根据作者2-4段的论述，结尾只说了第2、3两段的改进措施，可以把第4段的也加上)

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