[Try best]issue144 by suzie [复制链接]

yjwn1987
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2009-6-8 19:10:16 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 yjwn1987 于 2009-6-8 19:11 编辑

ISSUE144 - "It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value."
*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.

(2009-6-8 下午 04:16:56)

The speaker asserts that art, not the critic, provides something of lasting value to society. I agree with the statement. Though critic can lead an aesthetic trend in some occasions, it has nothing to do with the lasting value, which the artist can serve to the society.

Firstly, artists present the society into beauty-- what is eternal and universal. Beauty, many would insist, is a hallmark of the artist’s creation. For instance, a Renaissance painting of a Madonna and child, for many viewers, is somehow a revelation of spirituality; a Beethoven symphony is the last word of on human endurance. Certain arrangements of color and movement satisfy us over a long period of time, like the ballet Swan Lake. We can judge them as beautiful. Critic cannot participate in the creating of beauty, not can they change or even deny it. For we human born with a sense of beauty, the critic's work seems more of less insignificant here.

At the same time, though the critic asserts that they help common people to focus on a good art, the fact is often opposite to the original purpose. As a so-called experienced esthete, critic can easily bounded by the existing rules in society and reject something new. Consider, when the French gave the Statue of Liberty to America, the Augusta Chronicle condemned it as a pagan image unsuitable to the country. What's more, the market force is also a challenge to the art critic nowadays. To ensure the earning of collectors, some critics used to eulogize the dead masters, and grudge their praise to the young artists. It's common that the price of old master tripled, while artists still alive were struggling to make a living. That's why the National Endowments for the Arts were created---to offer the artists the same kind of encouragement and a sanctuary to resist the pursuit of ideas in language. As critic sometimes not only do failure in spreading art, but also block in the forming of new styles of art, the critique's value is really questionable.

In sum, as artist shows the eternal beauty in his works, the critic seems to just try to help us to make some choices. However, the aesthetic trend in a time does not detract from the masterpiece. After all, what lasting in our memory are the great artists and their works during the long river of history, not the critic’s words.

写完这个，有种想吐的感觉。中间的例子几乎全部照搬素材，而且文章倾向性太强。我知道这样不好。现在只能拼成这样子。回头会重新写一次的。

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小红莓
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沙发

发表于 2009-6-11 21:21:33 |只看该作者

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cababo
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板凳

发表于 2009-6-13 06:01:40 |只看该作者

The speaker asserts that art（the artist）, not the critic, provides something of lasting value to society. I agree with the statement. Though critics can lead an aesthetic trend in some occasions, it(they) has(have) nothing to do with the lasting value, which the artist can serve to the society.( What’s the meaning?)

Firstly, artists present the society into beauty—what ( , which ) is eternal and universal. Beauty, many would insist, is a hallmark of the artist’s creation. For instance, a Renaissance painting of a Madonna and child, for many viewers, is somehow a revelation of spirituality; a Beethoven symphony is the last word of on human endurance. Certain arrangements of color and movement satisfy us over a long period of time, like the ballet Swan Lake. We can judge them as beautiful. Critics cannot participate in the creating of beauty, not (nor) can they change or even deny it. For we (us) human born with a sense of beauty, the critic's work seems more of (or) less insignificant here.

At the same time, ( is “secondly” better? Since “Firstly” is used in the beginning of last passage) though the critic asserts that they help common people to focus on a good art, the fact is often opposite to the original purpose. As a so-called experienced esthete, a critic can be easily bounded by the existing rules in society and reject something new. Consider, when the French gave the Statue of Liberty to America, the Augusta Chronicle condemned it as a pagan image unsuitable to the country. What's more, the market force is also a challenge to the art critic nowadays. To ensure the earning of collectors, some critics are used to eulogize the dead masters, and grudge their praise to the young artists. It's common that the price of old master tripled, while artists still alive were struggling to make a living. (The price were struggling?) That's why the National Endowments for the Arts were created---to offer the artists the same kind of encouragement and a sanctuary to resist the pursuit of ideas in language. As critic sometimes not only do failure (fail) in spreading art, but also block in the forming of new styles of art, the critique's value is really questionable.

In sum, as the artist shows the eternal beauty in his works, the critic seems to just try to help us to make some choices. However, the aesthetic trend in a time does not detract from the masterpiece. After all, what lasting ( lasting is a adj., right? Maybe we should use a V. here) in our memory are the great artists and their works during the long river of history, not the critic’s words.

I think the structure is ok----Present the view in the first passage, give two sub-views in the following two passages, and summarize in the end. And also the examples are quite enough. However, I would like to give some suggestions from my own view. Firstly, there are some grammar mistakes you can revise. Secondly, I feel that some examples are just put there one by one. I think maybe it’s better to give some more small sub-views, even by one sentence. Or there are only sub-views holding your opinion. It seems not strong enough.

By the way, I am sorry for the delay of the revise for your work. It is because of some of my individual problems this week. I couldn’t manage to spare time to submit my answer on time. I will try my best to be on time next week. I am really sorry and beg your pardon. If there are some mistakes in my revise, please don’t hesitate to contact me. Good luck!

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