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crepuscularlyw
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电梯直达

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发表于 2009-6-14 09:21:17 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Argument 242: The following appeared as an editorial in the student newspaper of Groveton College.
"To combat the recently reported dramatic rise in cheating among college and university students, these institutions should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton's, which calls for students to agree not to cheat in their academic endeavors and to notify a faculty member if they suspect that others have cheated. Groveton's honor code replaced an old-fashioned system in which students were closely monitored by teachers and an average of thirty cases of cheating per year were reported. The honor code has proven far more successful: in the first year it was in place, students reported twenty-one cases of cheating; five years later, this figure had dropped to fourteen. Moreover, in a recent survey conducted by the Groveton honor council, a majority of students said that they would be less likely to cheat with an honor code in place than without."

Outline:
1.
作弊的案例数是同学们自己报告的，这个数据的真实性值得考虑。报上去的数据受到多因素的影响，比如大家都是熟人不好意思互相揭发，谎报数据骗取老师们的信任以后还可以继续无人监考等。
2.
就算是实报的数据，会不会有其它的原因引起了作弊案例数的减少，比如学校进行相关教育端正了同学们的态度，试卷变简单了，老师的教课水平提高了等。如果不能排除这些干扰，则作者的推断便是无依据的。
3.
最近的调查说大多数的同学说如果有这种honor code的话他们更不会作弊，这个调查的方式，如人数，随机性，调查提问方式等未给出，我们不得不质疑调查的准确性和真实合理性。
4.
Groveton college适用的不一定适用于其它的institutions。除非二者各方面都很相近。

要多努力，才到得了远方~~！

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crepuscularlyw
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沙发

发表于 2009-6-14 09:26:37 |只看该作者

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In this editorial, the author claims that the honor code contributes to the drop of the cheating cases. To substantiate the conclusion, the author provides the evidence that since Groveton use the honor code method, the cheating cases have been declining continuously in five years’ time. In addition, the author cites the result of a recent survey that a majority of students said that they would be less likely to cheat with an honor code in place than without. This argument is problematic for 4 reasons.

First of all, the number of the cheating cases is reported by students themselves, so the authenticity of the statistics is worth considering. For instance, students know each other, so it is unlikely for them to disclose each other’s cheating behavior. Apart from this, students give false statistics to teachers in order to have their trust, which is based on the premise that they enjoy this free supervision exam circumstance.

Secondly, we assume that the statistics is truly reported. There may be other reasons that cause the decrease of the cheating cases. Such as Groveton College educate its students to correct their attitudes, the exams are much easier now or the teachers have improved their teaching method and so on.

In addition, a recent survey conducted by the Groveton honor council tells a majority of students said that they would be less likely to cheat with an honor code in place than without. How does this survey conducted? The number of students who have been researched or those who are responded has not presented yet. Is the research randomly conducted? More over, we still don’t know the question manner author used in this survey. Considering all this, unless the author convinced us of the accuracy and reality of the survey, the survey itself is unwarranted.

Last but not the least, what suit the Groveton College would not be the same with other institutions. Unless these two share most similarities, we cannot use this method in other institutions.

To sum up, the conclusion lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer maintains. To make it logically acceptable, the author must make sure that all the students have reported the cheating cases veraciously and he should also provide evidence to rule out other possible causes of the declination of the cheating cases. Additionally, the author has to provide more information regarding the procedure used in the recent survey and also the similarity between Groveton College and other institutions.
昨晚熬夜赶的，中途还睡着了。第二篇习作错误该挺多还请多多赐教~~

要多努力，才到得了远方~~！

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lela900
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板凳

发表于 2009-6-17 22:53:15 |只看该作者

改好了~

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尾羽
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地板

发表于 2009-6-18 12:49:23 |只看该作者

本帖最后由尾羽于 2009-6-18 16:07 编辑

In this editorial, the author claims that the honor code contributes to the drop of the cheating cases. To substantiate the conclusion, the author provides the evidence that since Groveton use the honor code method, the cheating cases have been declining continuously in five years’ time(用in five years就可以了吧). In addition, the author cites the result of a recent survey that a majority of students said that they would be less likely to cheat with an honor code in place than without. This argument is problematic for 4 reasons(这句话前面应该加个however之类的转折词吧~这句话有些突然).

First of all, the number of the cheating cases is reported by students themselves, so the authenticity of the statistics is worth considering（这里把worth considering换成值得疑惑是否好些）. For instance, students know each other, so it is unlikely for them to disclose each other’s cheating behavior. Apart from this, students give false statistics to teachers in order to have their trust, which is based on the premise that they enjoy this free supervision exam circumstance.

Secondly, we assume that the statistics is truly reported. There may be other reasons that cause the decrease of the cheating cases. Such as Groveton College educate its students to correct their attitudes, the exams are much easier now or the teachers have improved their teaching method and so on.（这里是不是该跟一句总结的话）

In addition, a recent survey conducted by the Groveton honor council tells a majority of students said that they would be less likely to cheat with an honor code in place than without. How does this survey conducted? The number of students who have been researched or those who are responded has not presented yet. Is the research randomly conducted? More over, we still don’t know the question manner author used in this survey. （加“因此”）Considering all this, unless the author convinced us of the accuracy and reality of the survey, the survey itself is unwarranted.

Last but not the least, what suit the Groveton College would not be the same with other institutions. Unless these two share most similarities, we cannot use this method in other institutions.（这段意思用一句话带过不太好吧）

To sum up, the conclusion lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer maintains. To make it logically acceptable, the author must make sure that all the students have reported the cheating cases veraciously(好词！) and he should also provide evidence to rule out other possible causes of the declination of the cheating cases. Additionally, the author has to provide more information regarding the procedure used in the recent survey and also the similarity between Groveton College and other institutions.

（原文的结论是honor code应该被应用到all institutions，所以这个应该是攻击的重点（不论如何，用一句话带过我觉得是不妥的），而不应是把攻击点主要都放在survey本身的合理性上。也就是说，“Last but not the least,”这段应该再展开一下，前面的关于调查的部分可以适当缩减一下。唉~个人观点~我也不知道对不对~仅供参考。另外，整个文章都比较简介明了，我应该好好学习下！看了之后觉得自己的太啰嗦复杂了~还容易引起误解）

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