[a习作temp] 【Try Best】第一小组 argument65 by小红莓 [复制链接]

小红莓
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电梯直达

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发表于 2009-6-11 20:35:44 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

TOPIC: ARGUMENT65 - The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.

"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."
WORDS: 339
TIME: 00:56:04
DATE: 2009-6-11 18:32:55

This memo concludes that the cheese stores should discontinue stocking imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses. To support this conclusion, the president points out those five best-selling cheeses at their newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. The president also cites that a recent survey that an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. As it stands the memo rests on a series of dubious assumptions, and therefore unconvincing.

In the first place, the memo relies on the unsubstantiated assumption that the selling-condition of the five best-selling newest cheeses stores equals to all stores. Perhaps these five stores were founded in Wisconsin or the people there have close relationship with Wisconsin, and as a consequence the domestic cheddar cheeses were sold well.

Even though the domestic cheddar cheeses were sold well, no evidence shows that the profit is also high by selling domestic cheeses. Perhaps it is because the domestic cheeses are cheer but the profit is low.
Even the five newest stores have great profit last year; the author can not convince me in that they will continue to make great profit in the future. Perhaps people just want to try new cheeses from the new stores and some other cheese stores would take possession of the market after one year.

Finally, as a profitable institution, the Cheeses of the World magazine may have a biased opinion on its survey, and the president provides no evidence that the survey's respondents are representative of the customers of the cheeses. Lacking such evidence, it is entirely impossible that the survey make any means that the need for domestic cheeses would arise. What's more, maybe the Cheeses of the World magazine is focus on the domestic cheeses and the customs like imported cheeses even not buy it.

In sum, the president's suggestion is simply not credible, at least based on the memo. To strengthen it the president must provide more convincing evidence that consumers would prefer domestic cheeses and stores would make profit by selling them.

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GG86_Fly
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沙发

发表于 2009-6-14 22:31:13 |只看该作者

This memo concludes that the cheese stores should discontinue stocking imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses. To support this conclusion, the president points out those five best-selling cheeses at their newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. The president also cites that a recent survey that an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers.
指的是杂志的订阅者，这里指代不明As it stands the memo rests on a series of dubious assumptions, and therefore unconvincing.

In the first place, the memo relies on the unsubstantiated assumption that the selling-condition of the five best-selling newest cheeses stores equals to all stores. Perhaps these five stores were founded in Wisconsin or the people there have close relationship with Wisconsin, and as a consequence the domestic cheddar cheeses were sold well.

Even though the domestic cheddar cheeses were sold well, no evidence shows that the profit is also high by selling domestic cheeses. Perhaps it is because the domestic cheeses are cheer ？cheap？but the profit is low.
Even the five newest stores have great profit last year; the author can not convince me in that they will continue to make great profit in the future. Perhaps people just want to try new cheeses from the new stores and some other cheese stores would take possession of the market after one year.文中没有说新开的店have great profit吧，是你的假设？

Finally, as a profitable institution, the Cheeses of the World magazine may have a biased opinion on its survey, and the president provides no evidence that the survey's respondents are representative of the customers of the cheeses. Lacking such evidence, it is entirely impossible that the survey make any means that the need for domestic cheeses would arise. What's more, maybe the Cheeses of the World magazine is focus on the domestic cheeses and the customs like imported cheeses even not buy it.

In sum, the president's suggestion is simply not credible, at least based on the memo. To strengthen it the president must provide more convincing evidence that consumers would prefer domestic cheeses and stores would make profit by selling them.

文章很简洁，我觉得要是攻击的例子再多一点就好了，总的来说逻辑很好，只要逻辑对了，多写肯定就可以提高不少的。

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