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[a习作temp] argument53 【tsubasa】 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-6-21 10:22:48 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
53Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin—a hormone known to affect some brain functions—would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children—now teenagers—who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.


In the argument, the author claims that based on a twenty-five samples study, infants felt nervous and as they were children-now teenager and the shyness of more than half believe themselves last for lives since the increasing degree of melatonin before birth. Though the argument seems reasonable, there are a host of flaws as it stands.

The study of this argument is not statistically reliable. The sample quantity of the study is twenty-five and there is no information to indicate whether the samples are representative. The twenty-five samples are too scant to draw any conclusion and it is entirely possible that the infants were born in an especially bad climate of fall or the process of the infants bearing that can result in the appearance of distress. But it can not apply to all areas.


Next, even if the result of the study is reliable, it can not assert that the sign of mild distress is response to being conceived in early autumn. It is likely that other factors lead to the intense appearance. As an example, the milk of the nervous infant is poor nutrition. Because the infants’ families lack in money to supply sufficient foodstuff for their mothers. And as the nervous infants were fetuses, they might expose some stimuli as this time of study. So the same situation happened, their appearances like this study can be expected.


Even if the result of the study is unproblematic, being conceived in early fall brings about the nervous appearance and children-now teenagers were really shy. It still can not draw the conclusion that this shyness will last for their later livers. The growing surrounding means a lot to children' development. Perhaps the environment of these children is pretty harmonious, as they grow up, the shyness disappears generally. Or in case a significant affair happens that can generate a big impact to children, the nature of the children will also change a lot.


To sum up, the argument can not persuade me to believe the result of the study. To strengthen the study, the author should provide more samples and evidence concerning the concrete information of the study, the situation of each infants and the living condition of infant over the span of their lives.
choose,do and never give up.
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发表于 2009-6-25 00:06:14 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 银落 于 2009-6-25 00:19 编辑

53Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin—a hormone known to affect some brain functions—would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children—now teenagers—who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.


In the argument, the author claims that based on a twenty-five samples study, infants felt nervous and as they were children-now teenager and the shyness of more than half believe themselves last for lives since the increasing degree of melatonin before birth. Though the argument seems reasonable, there are a host of flaws as it stands.看出来了。。是你的argu模板句~


The study of this argument is not statistically reliable.(ts) The sample quantity of the study is twenty-five and there is no information to indicate whether the samples are representative. The twenty-five samples are too scant to draw any conclusion and it is entirely possible that the infants were born in an especially bad climate of fall or the process of the infants bearing that can result in the appearance of distress.牵强 But it can not apply to all areas.


Next, even if the result of the study is reliable, it can not assert that the sign of mild distress is response to being conceived in early autumn. It is likely that other factors lead to the intense appearance. As an example, the milk of the nervous infant is poor nutrition. Because the infants’ families lack in money to supply sufficient foodstuff for their mothers更加牵强(even if they are conceived at early autumn, they do not definitely lack sunlight, since their mothers go out for a walk or even work as usual不知道这个理由对不对~希望给出反馈哦). And as the nervous infants were fetuses, they might expose some stimuli as this time of study. So the same situation happened, their appearances like this study can be expected.


Even if the result of the study is unproblematic, being conceived in early fall brings about the nervous appearance and children-now teenagers were really shy. It still can not draw the conclusion that this shyness will last for their later livers. The growing surrounding means a lot to children' development. Perhaps the environment of these children is pretty harmonious, as they grow up, the shyness disappears generally. Or in case a significant affair happens that can generate a big impact to children, the nature of the children will also change a lot.

感觉这段的理由也不是特别好。。不过我也说不上多少不好。。。因为我自己也没什么好的reason
To sum up, the argument can not persuade me to believe the result of the study. To strengthen the study, the author should provide more samples and evidence concerning the concrete information of the study, the situation of each infants and the living condition of infant over the span of their lives.

结尾段我就不说什么了。。。那么多都写下来了。。模板基本也有了哈~

总结。。逻辑错误都找对了。。但是理由不是特别好。。所以显得攻击得不够充分。。~。。。恩。我觉得这篇也有点难。。
sometimes miracle comes
just for my belief

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