[a习作temp] aw处女座。。argument一篇，望各位指点 [复制链接]

worryjim
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2009-7-20 15:29:24 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

刚准备aw几天，看了官方a的五篇范文，看了n多模板（还是很有帮助的），留了一篇 Sil
ver Screen Movies的官方范文自己写。
没限时，写了很久。全是照猫画虎，用了些模版的东西，也学习官方写写。
希望大家给点意见。。。包括文章的，复习安排都好。谢谢了！

（words：548）
By making a comparison of the number of people attended movies produced by SS
which decreased with the percentage of generally favorable comments by movie r
eviewers which increased, the author conclude that the problem lies not with t
he quality of the movies but with the public's lack of awareness. At first gla
nce, the recommendation proposed by the advertising director to spend more bud
gets next year on reaching the public through advertising seems to be an obvio
us conclusion, but close scrutiny reveals that it contains several unconvincin
g assumptions and is therefore unpersuasive.

To begin with, the validity of the report is doubtful. Lacking information abo
ut the number of the viewers surveyed and the representativeness of the respon
dents, it is impossible to access the validity of the results. For example, we
re the survey respondents only children? Was the survey limited to certain cit
y of geographic region? Factors above may undermine the generalizability of th
e survey results. In addition, the author fails to point out that how the surv
ey of
reviewers was conducted, if these questions were leading, the reviewers might
echo with expected answers, thus the results would be greatly unconvincing.

Even assuming that the report data accurately reflect the truth, the arguer fa
ils to consider other possible alternatives to the fact that fewer people atte
nded movies made by SS. Such alternatives may include the fact that other medi
a like TV or Internet grows rapidly and capture the market of movies. In addit
ion, maybe the equipments of the cinema are too old while the price of tickets
is too high. And people prefer watching movie at home instead paying a lot of
time on the transportation to a cinema. What's more, if the quality of the mo
vies is not so good, it may not attract too many viewers to watch it, all abov
e will lead to the same ending. Without thinking over all the other explanatio
ns, the arguer cannot reasonably give the conclusion.

In addition, even if we accept the fact that the reason why viewers were fewer
last year is lack of awareness, there is absolutely no evidence provided that
more investment on advertising is needed and beneficial. The arguer assumes t
hat more investment is the only helpful recommendation, however the arguer ent
irely ignores some other choices, such as to strengthen the management of the
advertising department, to improve the efficient of the staffs, or to retain m
ore experienced designers of ads, which might also achieve the same, even bett
er, effect. What's more, unreasonable budget may result in financial difficult
ies. Before more budget are spent on advertising, all above should be taken in
account.

Last but not least, suggest proposed to spend less on producing new movies is
absolutely groundless. There is no evidence that the investment on producing n
ew movies is excessive or unnecessary. Actually, the quality of movies is the
thing that really counts. Lacking reasonable evidence the author cannot draw a
ny firm conclusion. The memo from the director of advertising could provide im
portant information and potentially boost the turnover of the company SS. Howe
ver the recommendation for more budgets on advertising is not well supported.
Before any conclusions of budget are reached, an all-sided analysis of the mar
ket and company is needed. After all, a false decision on business may ruin th
e future of a company.

--
多谢能留些意见。。。