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[i习作temp] 【马马虎虎小组】spectacular高频写作 Issue 130 作业汇总贴 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-7-15 19:04:41 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."


In our modern society, people are growing concerned that how children are socialized today determined the destiny of society. In my perspective, I strongly agree with the view that socialization is important. And the education methods we have so far are not that useless as the topic cites. Here are my supporting arguments.

Admittedly, socialization of children does play a significant role in our society. Providing that some children want to do their contribution to the society, they have to study well during their students' term, besides, they must learn to be socialized which places emphasis on cooperation with others and making judgments according to certain circumstances. My following reasoning is that those people who have made great contributions to their society know well about how to blend into the society. The argument above can be answered by the study on American presidents in history. It is possible to identify they shared the same feature which is called high emotional quotient. To some extent, the socialization level is manifested by emotional quotient. Without regard of well-socialization, these presidents could not make their achievements much bigger than ordinary politicians. As a result, socialization is crucial to a man's entire life because it could help you in some ways that knowledge never could. Phil Jackson, for instance, the 10 times NBA championships ring owner, was criticized for that he is not a tactical master such as Larry Brown and the reason he could win that much championships is he has a lot of great players like Michael Jordan, Shaquille O’Neal, Kobe Bryant. But we cannot ignorant of that Phil has another virtue which is the same important as tactical usage, that is communication skills. He knows how to communicate with players thus they could perform their best on the court. This story told us EQ sometimes defeats IQ.

However, even a child is well socialized; with poor education he or she may be harmful to our society. There are numerous examples to suggest that so many liars and thieves were using their flowery words to gain their parents' love in order to get what they want in their childhood. At the same time, they ignore their study which caused them less competitive when they applying jobs. If a man cannot get a job, there is always a chance that he may break the law and do something illegal and harmful to the society. As a result, all things cannot be extreme, only a child is well educated and well socialized could him have a bright future and make his contribution to the society. In ancient China, there was a story named three moves by Mencius mother. Mencius, one of the greatest educators; thinkers; philosophers in Chinese history, when he was in his childhood, his mother moved their house three times in order to avoid the influence of noises and create a peaceful environment for Mencius to study.

What is more, most parents have an excellent way of teaching child. Every couple of parents hopes their children to become useful to the society. They try to send them into the best school, to conduct them reading during spare time, to encourage them to contact with people at the same age and to suggest them to learn how to be independent via part time job. Most excellent people in our generation are growing up just like this. Although there are exceptional parents cannot well teach and bring up their children, it is undeniable that most parents knows how to make their children useful. For example, George Washington told his father it was him who cut down the cherry tree. To little Washington’s surprise, his father told him that he wanted Washington to be always honesty rather than blame him. We have to admit that the teaching way of encouraging still worthy current parents to refer.

In sum, the education of children determines the destiny of society, parents should dedicate more time in training their children to become accomplished persons contributing to our society.
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沙发
发表于 2009-7-20 19:14:13 |只看该作者
建议孟子的故事放在倒数第二段说会更好一些!
本文的例子都很精彩、切题,狂赞!

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板凳
发表于 2009-7-20 21:17:08 |只看该作者
In our modern society, people are growing concerned that how children are socialized today determined the destiny of society. In my perspective, I strongly agree with the view that socialization is important. And the education methods we have so far are not that useless as the topic cites. Here are my supporting arguments.(陈述观点,破而后立,现在的教育还是有作用的)

Admittedly, socialization of children does play a significant role in our society.(感觉后面再夸夸socialization怎么起得重要作用会更好) Providing that some children want to do their contribution to the society, they have to study well during their students' term, besides, they must learn to be socialized which places emphasis on cooperation with others and making judgments according to certain circumstances. My following reasoning is that those people who have made great contributions to their society know well about how to blend into the society. The argument above can be answered by the study on American presidents in history. It is possible to identify they shared the same feature which is called high emotional quotient. To some extent, the socialization level is manifested by emotional quotient. Without regard of well-socialization, these presidents could not make their achievements much bigger than ordinary politicians. As a result, socialization is crucial to a man's entire life because it could help you in some ways that knowledge never could. Phil Jackson, for instance, the 10 times NBA championships ring owner, was criticized for that he is not a tactical master such as Larry Brown and the reason he could win that much championships is he has a lot of great players like Michael Jordan, Shaquille O’Neal, Kobe Bryant. But we cannot ignorant of that Phil has another virtue which is the same important as tactical usage, that is communication skills. He knows how to communicate with players thus they could perform their best on the court. This story told us EQ sometimes defeats IQ.(个人观点:此段感觉过长了- -!可能造成观点不够鲜明)

However, even a child is well socialized; with poor education he or she may be harmful to our society. There are numerous examples to suggest that so many liars and thieves were using their flowery words to gain their parents' love in order to get what they want in their childhood. At the same time, they ignore their study which caused them less competitive when they applying jobs. If a man cannot get a job, there is always a chance that he may break the law and do something illegal and harmful to the society. As a result, all things cannot be extreme, only a child is well educated and well socialized could him have a bright future and make his contribution to the society. In ancient China, there was a story named three moves by Mencius mother. Mencius, one of the greatest educators; thinkers; philosophers in Chinese history, when he was in his childhood, his mother moved their house three times in order to avoid the influence of noises and create a peaceful environment for Mencius to study.(缺乏好的教育导致的恶果)

What is more, most parents have an excellent way of teaching child.(个人认为,这个未必most parents have an excellent hope of well teaching child) Every couple of parents hopes their children to become useful to the society. They try to send them into the best school, to conduct them reading during spare time, to encourage them to contact with people at the same age and to suggest them to learn how to be independent via part time job. Most excellent people in our generation are growing up just like this. Although there are exceptional parents cannot well teach and bring up their children, it is undeniable that most parents knows how to make their children useful(become better). For example, George Washington told his father it was him who cut down the cherry tree. To little Washington’s surprise, his father told him that he wanted Washington to be always honesty rather than blame him. We have to admit that the teaching way of encouraging still worthy current parents to refer.(良好的教育培养出对社会有益的人)

In sum, the education of children determines the destiny of society, parents should dedicate more time in training their children to become accomplished persons contributing to our society.(总结,说教育更重要。)
(个人观点:作者部分反对题目的观点,提出自己的观点,教育很important,结构上,先说socialization也很重要,但是,教育更重要,破而后立的结构。语言上,表达的很好了(比我的表达好)。提出一些意见:感觉没有把socialization和education一起比较一下,有些说education的成分多了一些。加油,哈哈)

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RE: 【马马虎虎小组】spectacular高频写作 Issue 130 作业汇总贴 [修改]
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