[i习作temp] Issue48【Triple Week】第6次练习by 泡面 [复制链接]

泡面
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电梯直达

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发表于 2009-7-23 16:16:59 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

"The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
As human beings expanded for billions of years and countless events accured and were recorded in our history. When we look back on these inspiring moments, most of us can surely figure out lists of names of the heroes and heroines. However, we may have put too much emphsis on individuals. It is universally acknowledged that the preocess of human being is conducted both by the masses and the elites of the time. Neither famous few nor can the populace create history alone.

Heroes and heroines are the symbol of the society. Indivuduals stand out in proper time to exert his or her capacity to make contribution to the whole society. They were more or less forced to stand out by the pressing current situation, meanwhile, they represent the trends of the contemporary society somehow. Undoubtably, when a hero or heroine appears in our vision scope, we are stuned by their superhumane willingness and striking volition. Mao Zedong and $$, respectively, come immediately in my mind. Mao was born in a war era and the majority of youths in that time are full of patriotism. However, duing to Mao's extrodinary courage and distinctive insight, he bravely stand on the grand stage and guided millions of Chinese people to fight against the invasion and eventrually triumphed. He,an outstanding individual, has a long-lasting and far-reaching influence on the later generation to make them remember him as the one of the greatest leaders in our country. In such circumstances, there are abundant of would-be heroes but no other people possessed Mao's kind of extraordinary courage and insight. It is Mao who emancipated the Chinese populace at that time.
On the other hand, it is the the commonalty that casts the glorified figure. Without aids of the populace, celebrity alone cannot change the whole history trend and achieve the flourishing success. It is universally acknowledged that the leader who gains the support of the populace can accomplish the final triumph, those who do things against the benifits of the people are deem to be looser. For example, Hitler, who was the one against the well-being of all human beings and only aimed at satisfying his own ambition. Eventraly, overturned by the people no matter how ingenious and intelligent he was. The force of the populace is irresistable. An other positive paragon is that American G.I.----From disparate roots but united by patriotic courage, American soldiers preserved freedom around the world. They are the taciturn contributors but make significant contributions to the process of history and deserd to be remembered.

There is a relation between the depths of knowledge hold by famous individuals and lanscape of that viewed by commonalty. As the air famous few breathe is drawn from the great repositories filled by the populace, as the light shedding on their minds is yielded by thousands of stars a millions of miles distance, as the poise of the world depends on the balanced cooperation of both elites and the commonalty, so the former should be instructed by the later and the later guided by the former.
In conclusion, famous people cannot be eminent without sustainment of the people and the commonalty cannot immediately make the significant decision to intrigue the development of the society without guiding of some prominent figures. Our hsitory need both of them to jion in hand to create a prosperious community.

triumph…………

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沙发

发表于 2009-7-24 15:47:56 |只看该作者

"The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."

As human beings expanded for billions of years and(去掉，改逗号句子会不会清晰些) countless events accured(occured) and were recorded in our history. When we look back on these inspiring moments, most of us can surely figure out （many) lists of names of the heroes and heroines. However, we may have put too much emphsis(emphasis) on individuals. It is universally acknowledged that the preocess（process） of human being is conducted both by the masses and the elites of the time（elite of the time 是什么东东`）. Neither famous few nor can the populace create history alone.（开头要能简练一点就好了）

Heroes and heroines are the symbol（sysbols) of the society. Indivuduals stand out in proper time to exert his or her capacity to make contribution to the whole society. They were more or less forced to stand out by the pressing current situation, meanwhile, they represent the trends of the contemporary society somehow. Undoubtably(undoubtedly), when a hero or heroine appears in our vision scope, we are stuned by their superhumane willingness and striking volition. Mao Zedong and $$, respectively, come immediately in my mind. Mao was born in a war era and the majority of youths in that time are full of patriotism. However, duing to Mao's extrodinary courage and distinctive insight, he bravely stand on the grand stage and guided millions of Chinese people to fight against the invasion and eventrually triumphed. He,an outstanding individual, has a long-lasting and far-reaching influence on the later generation to make them remember him as the one of the greatest leaders in our country. In such circumstances, there are abundant of (figures) would-be heroes but no other people possessed Mao's kind of extraordinary courage and insight. It is Mao who emancipated the Chinese populace at that time. (例子还不错，就是写太长了，与论点也应结合起来分析一下）

On the other hand, it is the the commonalty that casts the glorified figure. Without aids of the populace, celebrity alone cannot change the whole history trend and achieve the flourishing success. It is universally acknowledged that the leader who gains the support of the populace can accomplish the final triumph, those who do things against the benifits of the people are deem to be looser.（这个观点放着好） For example, Hitler, who was the one against the well-being of all human beings and only aimed at satisfying his own ambition. Eventraly （eventually), overturned by the people no matter how ingenious and intelligent he was. The force of the populace is irrisitable(irresistible). An other positive paragon is that American G.I.----From disparate roots but united by patriotic courage, American soldiers preserved freedom around the world. They are the taciturn contributors but make significant contributions to the process of history and deserd to be remembered.

There is a relation between the depths of knowledge hold by famous individuals and lanscape (landscape?) of that viewed by commonalty. As the air famous few breathe is drawn from the great repositories filled by the populace, as the light shedding on their minds is yielded by thousands of stars (from) a millions of miles distance(这个例子什么意思啊）, as the poise of the world depends on the balanced cooperation of both elites and the commonalty, so the former should be instructed by the later and the later guided by the former.（没大看明白，不过这一段和上一段的观点似乎差不多~)

In conclusion, famous people cannot be eminent without sustainment of the （Major） people and the commonalty cannot immediately make the significant decision to intrigue（这个词似乎不合适啊） the development of the society without guiding of some prominent figures. Our hsitory need both of them to jion（join） in hand（s） to create a prosperious community.

觉得最大优点是单词变化很多，例子也还比较丰富，作者单词量还是不错的，羡慕，我改的时候只能不停用字典~~ 呵呵
但是最好把观点更丰富，感觉观点有些单一。另外结尾段最好直接扣到题上比较保险。

md 等我考完了我要吃鸡翅膀，鸡腿腿，鸡抄手……

【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

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