[求助] 第一次IBT作文，望批 [复制链接]

agileeagle
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电梯直达

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发表于 2009-8-4 09:12:30 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Learn by yourself or with a teacher?
Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher. Others think that it is always better to have a teacher. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons to develop you essay.
Personally, I would like to choose the point that it is always better to have a teacher. Teacher’s responsibility is to teach students knowledge, they can be partly considered to be experience. Because teachers have acknowledges and experience, so they can guild students in a more direct and successful way to go.
Anyone who knows more than you could be your teachers. It doesn’t depend the age, aspect and the sex. In some circumstance s/he would your teacher while you could be her/his teacher in other field. Therefore, teachers are always around us. At the most situation, That is , in the schools , teachers always teach students knowledge about math, physics, chemistry and so forth. Students can grasp the basic concept quickly than they studied by themselves. This phenomenon will be more obviously when the knowledge become more complicated. Sometimes, It is difficult for person understanding the concept easily. Students would take a long time to understand the basic concept. My major is physics, I always meet the fact that I would took a month to learn a new concept with a thick book. However, If there is a teacher who knows the concept willing to teacher me ,It will save me a lot of time. A month study would be replaced by a week. In other words, the efficiency is enhanced. Moreover, people learn by themselves would probably go contrary to the right way. They may misunderstand a concept, which will lead them defeat at last.
So I think it is very important to have a teacher to tutor. A person with a good teacher will progress significantly than one without. A teacher can not only teach you about the knowledge but also can point a right way for you.

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首龙
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沙发

发表于 2009-8-4 09:58:59 |只看该作者

个人觉得LZ这篇文章结构上不是很清析，而且内容好象比较空，应该有更多的相对concrete的例子。另外语法上也有些小错误，如 “s/he would your teacher”“It doesn’t depend the age”，这些是不经意思的小错，完全可以避免，但还是要特别注意。

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flowerflying415
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板凳

发表于 2009-8-4 11:48:52 |只看该作者

首先段落不清楚，IBT典型作文格式是，第一段介绍，二三四段讲理由，第五段总结。你没有介绍段，理由段没有分出几个段落～～所以感觉上结构不清晰，字数上不是很多，没能展开叙述，所以比较空，呵呵～～

参考一下这个帖子吧：https://bbs.gter.net/thread-991969-1-1.html

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