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hellogt
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电梯直达

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发表于 2010-2-11 19:56:17 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

TOPIC: ISSUE153 - "Students should bring a certain skepticism to whatever they study. They should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively.

It is well known that where deficiency exists, improvement exists. Accordingly, Skepticism and innovation can make our society go further. To cultivate students to embrace the kind of ability, students should be told to learn knowledge critically, not merely absorb passively.

As the purpose of science is to explore the unknown and propel the society forward, scientists equipped with Skepticism will enable their research to conform to it better. In consideration of the Newton's classic theory, it has been regarded as the one closest to truth and is suitable for all materials. However, Max Born, a physicist in Germany, dissented from it after proposing his basic assumption of quantum mechanics. As the development of quantum theory, physicists and chemists have found that those classic mechanics are not applicable in microcosmic world. Bohr is right! This story convinces us that even if the most classic theory may be not perfect as well, let alone others. As a matter of fact, there are many theories requiring us to complete them.

When it comes to students, as the pillar of society in the near future, they should be equipped with the virtue-skepticism, which will enable them to discern the real from the unreal, the true from the false and the surface from the internality. The knowledge they have learned in class is based on the experience of our predecessors, some of which may consist of some flaws not been discovered. Therefore, it is necessary for the students to question what they have been imparted. By collecting references about the issues they face, they can gain a deep understanding of them. In addition, having failed to get the result expected, they can resort to the professors. In this path to ultimate truth, they will have their critical and analytical thinking enhanced. as well as knowledge acquired. On the other hand, if the students can only absorb the knowledge passively, they will be close-minded and have no fresh ideas and the society will be at a standstill.

But it is not to say that students should bring skepticism to whatever they learn. As knowledge which they have learned is not sufficient and their way of thinking is not mature enough, to do so will really make them confused and usually, it is a waste of time. Those questions, such as why can water quench fire, can’t be explained clearly, for it is just natural phenomenon. In addition, having no restriction on questioning everything will have menace on the society. Thus, the skepticism is recommended only within certain scope.

In conclusion, students should be recommended to question what they have learned and not merely absorb the knowledge passively. It is beneficial for the improvement of our society, especially for science and technology. As we are in a society that information acquired more conveniently, if students fail to learn and accept it critically and selectively, they will probably lose their bearings on the sea of information and data. On the other hand, to avoid unnecessary problems, they should stick to the certain scope.

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snowdropie
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沙发

发表于 2010-2-11 22:27:48 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 snowdropie 于 2010-2-11 22:35 编辑

呵呵，改得不好，请见谅~~

TOPIC: ISSUE153 - "Students should bring a certain skepticism to whatever they study. They should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively.

It is well known that where deficiency exists, improvement exists. （这句话用得好~~）Accordingly, skepticism and innovation can make our society go further. To cultivate students to embrace (培养某种能力：cultivate sb. the ability,直接加宾语 )the kind of ability, students should be told to learn knowledge critically, not merely absorb passively.

同义替换做得很好。简洁破题。点明观点。

As the purpose of science is to explore the unknown and propel the society forward, scientists equipped with skepticism will enable their research to conform to it better.(这句话有些没看懂。后半句与前半句的关系是什么？是说“科学的目的是探索未知、推动社会进步，有怀疑精神的科学家能够更好地促进此目的的达成”吗？那么后面的例子似乎不能有力支撑观点，或者把首句改成，科学家应当有质疑精神。) In consideration of the Newton's classic theory, it has been regarded as the one closest to truth and is suitable for all materials. However, Max Born, a physicist in Germany, dissented from it after proposing his basic assumption of quantum mechanics. As the development of quantum theory, physicists and chemists have found that those classic mechanics are not applicable in microcosmic world. Bohr is right! This story convinces us that even if the most classic theory may be not perfect as well, let alone others. As a matter of fact, there are many theories requiring us to complete them.
这段话单独讨论科技，似乎有些跑题~~可以把它合并到下一段

When it comes to students, as the pillar of society in the near future, they should be equipped with the virtue-skepticism, which will enable them to discern the real from the unreal, the true from the false (建议改成the truth from falsehood)and the surface from the internality. The knowledge they have learned in class is based on the experience of our predecessors, (建议调换语序，以使连接词顺畅连接前文：Based on studying the experience of the pioneering scientists in classroom, they have acquired knowledge easily , but )some of which may consist of flaws (that have)not been discovered. Therefore, it is necessary for the students to question what they have been imparted. By collecting references about the issues they face, they can gain a deep understanding of them. In addition, having failed to get the result expected, they can resort to the professors. In this path to ultimate truth, they will have their critical and analytical thinking enhanced. as well as knowledge acquired.(总觉得这样的表达有些别扭~~直接写成they will enhance their critical and analytical thinking ability and acquire much more knowledge不是更清晰么？O(∩_∩)O~) On the other hand, if the students can only absorb the knowledge passively（可以换个同义替换的词，这个词已经在文中多次出现了,例如：without query/completely accept what they have learned）, they will be close-minded and have no fresh ideas and the society will be at a standstill. （可以举出详细的事例。如中国学生只善于学习，而不善于质疑，导致中国学术水平落后。）

逻辑：本段说学生必须要有质疑精神。—质疑的好处；如果不存疑，导致的后果。但例子似乎不够有说服力。

But it is not to say that students should bring skepticism to whatever they learn. As knowledge which they have learned is not sufficient and their way of thinking is not mature enough, to do so will really make them confused and usually, it is a waste of time. Those questions, such as why can water quench fire, can’t be explained clearly, for it is just natural phenomenon. In addition, having no restriction on questioning everything will have menace on the society. Thus, the skepticism is recommended only within certain scope.（例子可以更详细些。）
逻辑：承认怀疑的好处不等于对一切都要怀疑。质疑也要有限度。

In conclusion, students should be recommended to question what they have learned and not merely absorb the knowledge passively（多次出现，建议替换~~）. It is beneficial for the improvement of our society, especially for science and technology. As we are in a society that information can be acquired much more conveniently than ever before, if students fail to learn and accept it critically and selectively, they will probably lose their bearings on the sea of information and data. On the other hand, to avoid unnecessary problems, they should stick to the certain scope.(看不懂~)

总评：语言比较流畅，思路清晰。但有些例子与观点结合得不是很紧密，首句TS不太明确。

By snowdropie
欢迎回拍！~~~
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/thread-1059479-1-1.html

2010-2-11

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irvine666
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板凳

发表于 2010-2-15 23:35:07 |只看该作者

1# hellogt
TOPIC: ISSUE153 - "Students should bring a certain skepticism to whatever they study. They should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively.

It is well known that where deficiency exists, improvement exists. （前后问逻辑跳跃，需要把skepticism如何引发improvement的关系需要讲一下）Accordingly, Skepticism and innovation can make our society go further. To cultivate students（后文主句是students.这是基本的从句错误） to embrace the kind of ability, students should be told to learn knowledge critically, not merely absorb passively.

As（as引导的是弱语气原因状语从句，表达双方都不言而喻的意思，这里显然不是） the purpose of science is to explore the unknown and propel the society forward, scientists equipped with Skepticism will enable their research to conform to it better. （这一句TS放在这里显然是强调purpose of science,而不是purpose of skepticism，句式需要改变以改变强调的中心）In consideration of the Newton's classic theory（这个名字也是错的，Newton's Laws of Motion）, it has been regarded as the one closest to truth and is suitable for all materials.（语法没过关，问题比较多） However, Max Born, a physicist in Germany, dissented from it after proposing his basic assumption of quantum mechanics. As the development of quantum theory, physicists and chemists have found that those classic mechanics are not applicable in microcosmic world. Bohr is right! This story convinces us that even if the most classic theory may be not perfect as well, let alone others. As a matter of fact, there are many theories requiring us to complete them. （通篇未提到skepticism,只是用一种新理论代替旧理论罢了，如何能够体现出是通过skeptism而不是通过obervation或者counterevidence?）

When it comes to students, as the pillar of society in the near future, they should be equipped with the virtue-skepticism（这是什么？解释下比较好,不要只说它功能如何）, which will enable them to discern the real from the unreal（这个我没有看出来，你是不是解释清楚一下）, the true from the false and the surface from the internality（这个反了吧）. （上文还在说virtue-skepticism,马上就跳到knowledge的来源了）The knowledge they have learned in class is based on the experience of our predecessors, some of which may consist of some flaws not been discovered. Therefore, it is necessary for the students to question what they have been imparted. By collecting references about the issues they face, they can gain a deep understanding of them.（这句话放在这里是何用意？和skeptical有一丝关联么？） In addition, having failed to get the result expected, they can resort to the professors（知识仅仅来源于professors么？）. In this path to ultimate truth, they will have their critical and analytical thinking enhanced. as well as knowledge acquired. On the other hand, if the students can only absorb the knowledge passively, they will be close-minded and have no fresh ideas and the society will be at a standstill.（逻辑跳跃，解释清楚）

But it is not to say that students should bring skepticism to whatever they learn. As knowledge which they have learned is not sufficient and their way of thinking is not mature enough, to do so will really make them confused and usually, it is a waste of time.（这句论断需要更多的details和examples支撑） Those questions, such as why can water quench fire, can’t be explained clearly（lack of oxygen,怎么解释不清楚了...）, for it is just natural phenomenon. In addition, having no restriction on questioning everything will have menace on the society.（仍然没有解释清楚） Thus, the skepticism is recommended only within certain scope.

In conclusion, students should be recommended to question what they have learned and not merely absorb the knowledge passively. It is beneficial for the improvement of our society, especially for science and technology. As we are in a society that information acquired more conveniently, if students fail to learn and accept it critically and selectively, they will probably lose their bearings on the sea of information and data. On the other hand, to avoid unnecessary problems, they should stick to the certain scope.

你的问题就是，文章的论述点很多，但是每一个点都论述的很不清楚，中间跳过的必备步骤太多了，导致论述乱而不准

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脍新鲈，斟美酒，起悲歌：太平生长，岂谓今日识干戈！欲泻三江雪浪，净洗胡尘千里，无为挽天河。回首望霄汉，双泪坠清波。

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hellogt
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地板

发表于 2010-2-17 15:52:01 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 hellogt 于 2010-2-17 15:56 编辑

TOPIC: ISSUE153 - "Students should bring a certain skepticism to whatever they study. They should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively.

It is well known that where deficiency exists, improvement exists. Through doubting what they have learned and finding out possible deficiencies, one may enhance the exiting theory or improve the level of technologies after taking appropriate measures. Accordingly, Skepticism and innovation can make our society go further. To cultivate students to embrace the kind of ability, teachers should enable students to learn knowledge critically, not merely absorb passively.

To begin with, the purpose of science is to explore the unknown. The discovery of the unknown worlds require us to have a curious mind. Thus, only scientists equipped with Skepticism will they enable their research to conform to it better. In consideration of the Newton's Laws of Motion, it was regarded as the most universal theory in the world. However, Max Born, a physicist in Germany, wondered its exactness when applying this theory to quantum. After taking very much experimental work, he dissented from it openly when proposing his basic assumption of quantum mechanics. As the development of quantum theory, physicists and chemists have found that those classic mechanics are not applicable in microcosmic world. Bohn is right! This story convinces us that even if the most classic theory may be not perfect as well, let alone others. It reminds us to learn knowledge with the attitude of skepticism, not just memory it.

When it comes to schools, especially colleges, students should be encouraged to keep a doubtful mind and give questions to what they have learned at class and not absorb knowledge passively. For the question that has been solved by predecessors, they can find out the answer after resorting to books and references. But for those which they fail to acquire the solutions, they can communicate it with other students and resort to teachers. Even though the questions have not been solved finally, students also participate in the process of learning. In fact, this is the authentic channel to acquire knowledge. That is: to question, to enjoy the process of solving your own questions.

But it is not to say that students should bring skepticism to whatever they learn. As knowledge which they have learned is not sufficient and their way of thinking is not mature enough, to do so will really make them confused and usually, it is a waste of time. When first learning physics at middle school, each individual may feel that it is so abstruse that most physical concepts are beyond our understanding. At that time, asking those questions, such as how could we understand Einstein's Relativity, would confuse us completely. In addition, having no restriction on questioning everything will have menace on the society. Some may ask this question: why can’t one country develop nuclear weapons? They incline to hold the idea that one country will not be scared of other countries once possessing nuclear weapons such as atom bomb. Thus,the skepticism is recommended only within certain scope.

In conclusion, students should be recommended to question what they have learned and not merely absorb the knowledge passively. It is beneficial for the improvement of our society, especially for science and technology. As we are in a society that information acquired more conveniently, if students fail to learn and accept it critically and selectively, they will probably lose their bearings on the sea of information and data. On the other hand, to avoid unnecessary problems, they should stick to the certain scope.

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