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[作文] 菜鸟作文求修改。。。 [复制链接]

icybing
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电梯直达

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发表于 2012-1-13 18:44:06 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

作为艺术生，作为四六级未过的大学生，深深的自卑中。。。。上作文。小女子不胜感激呀。。。。
题目
many developing countries are increasingly expanding their tourism industry.why is this the case? Is it a positive development?

正文
There is a obvious phenomenon,that many developing countries are increasingly expending their tourism industry. There are many various reasons due to this case. Indeed, tourism industry is a positive development.

As economic global, developing countries are shortage of factory industry and finance business to enhance those economic income; therefore, they must find some industry to make complete. Consequently, they begin to expand their tourism industry in many developing countries. Moreover, they do not have high-level skills and technologies to promote development. This can be best illustrate with the example that individuals also have simple job, such as physical work. Lastly, because of those countries are developing, so that,theyhave many beautiful nature places.There is ample evidence suggesting that if the less land for factory industry,it would be more land for tourism industry.

It is worth pointing out the increasingly expanding tourism industry in many developing countries is a positive development. Firstly, tourism industry promote economic increase and the government can use the fund to do some useful things for resident. For instance, the facilities for people, used to do some different exercise. Secondly, developing tourism industry can increase many jobs for individuals to solve the problem of unemploied and retired people. Indeed, there is a work named tourist guide is a important job in tourism system. Above all, through the expand of tourism industry, the authorities use increasingly fund to built the countries. Clearly, the environment of countries have a eco-friendly system.

In summary, the reasons and results of phenomenon are complicated; therefore, we must use the objective things to do some meaningful things are like many developing countries expand tourism industry.

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wrath
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沙发

发表于 2012-1-13 20:34:46 |只看该作者

自己先该两遍再发上来吧。。。
很多比较明显的错误

所有的捷径都是弯路

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icybing
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板凳

发表于 2012-1-13 22:15:26 |只看该作者

:L这已经是我自己改过的了。。。哎。我竟然看不出来啊。

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bqiana
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地板

发表于 2012-1-14 08:38:19 |只看该作者

5.5+ 潜力很大

Reaching soul
As time pass
Hearing voice
On the magic cross
Creating interface
Through finger touch
Searching peace
In cyber space
Hunch is stylish
Above superficies
Life is synchronous
In between balance
It is for you …

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