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[备考经验] 切肤之痛:3-15的AW教训 [复制链接]

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发表于 2003-6-12 19:03:44 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
我考试是所写的ISSUE....估计只有3分,大家当教训吧!


topic:In any realm of life-whether academic,social,business,or political-the only way to succeed is to take a practical,rather than an idealistic,point of view.Pragmatic behavior guarantees survival,whereas idealistic views tend to be superceded by simpler,more immediate options.
  考试前偷看到了考题,已打好腹稿。
正文:
    ---------Idealism,by which I mean the pursuit of perfect,is regarded as exemplary and laudable by those who practice it(新概念4上的),my objection to it is that it court in dispointment and even desparation.Whenever one takes an idealistic point of view,the only requittal he would get is not the boon of success,but frustration..(记不太清楚了).
     -----------That taking an idealistic point of view would definitely result in dispointment is due to the simple fact that there is nothing in the mundane world that can be categorically perfect.A photographer who is ambitious to photo a most beautiful and glorious picture of the sun would inevitably get distressed because there is hardly any sunsight so beautiful that it defies imagination--a sunset before it's full glimpsed,(当时心里非常紧张,严重偏题)
Aother case in point is the ordinances stipulated by government(言归正传,举了一个环境法的例子,保护了环境,但减少了economic advantages and governmental revenue)
     ---------In response to the position that Idealism is inappliabe,indignant objection could expected like:How could one succeed without a goal?However the snag in this assertion is that it dose not distinguish between a goal and an idealistic perspective.The chase of a goal,whatever it is,allow for compromise whereas the pursuit of perfect means,to an extent,
intransigence or even stubborness.The history offers a list of successful figures who make voluntary sacrifice for their goals,like.....(由于没时间,所以草草写了这么几句,论述不充分,而且无逻辑)
     --------In sum,a idealistic point of view could not guarantee anything but frustration,while the pursuit of goals is,by no mean,reproachable or ....(还用了一个表示责备的词,用词累赘)
//大约480字。

教训:内容无逻辑,论述不充分。用词累赘。还有很多,望大家指教。。。
   
   偶准备再战ETS,大家帮帮我,想偶这种作文该如何改进,或者换过一种思路。
    
   偶现在一写,有走进死胡同了。。郁闷!//不甚感激呀!!!
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Aries白羊座 荣誉版主

沙发
发表于 2003-6-12 21:36:12 |只看该作者
你的记性真好啊!

真心建议你,好好看看我们的精华区,把中国学生最头疼的问题都分析过了。可行的办法也都讨论过了。读了会很有收获的哦!
UA
我说人生哪,如果赏过一回痛哭淋漓的风景,写一篇杜鹃啼血的文章,与一个赏心悦目的人错肩,也就够了。不要收藏美、钤印美,让美随风而逝。生命最清醉的时候,是将万里长江视为一匹白绢,裂帛。(简桢)

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板凳
发表于 2003-6-13 10:04:10 |只看该作者
首先,你太注重语言的复杂程度了,从而忽略了最基本的东西,我想你这一点也意识到了吧:严重缺乏逻辑联系。

上过外教的一些课,他总是告诫我们一篇美文最重要的是要有严密的逻辑:Logic is so beautiful that without it, everything is meaningless.

建议你以后多多从思维的前后连贯性入手,拿到题目那一刻就好好想想怎么才能组织好思维一一说服原文观点的逻辑错误,说服别人也说服自己。

下次你如果要上传帖子,我要看你的大纲。或许,你先现在只用练习写大纲就行了。你的语言功底还是不错的。

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RE: 切肤之痛:3-15的AW教训 [修改]
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