[经典批改讨论] issue36 我的第三篇，欢迎指点 [复制链接]

yimei 该用户已被删除	电梯直达楼主发表于 2007-2-2 11:41:49 \|只看该作者 \|倒序浏览提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽
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发表于 2007-2-3 00:39:24 |只看该作者

The speaker's assertion contains two points: 1) the greatness of individuals only can be decided by those who live after them and 2) not by the contemporaries. Considering the exceptions existing(the exceptions existed or the existing exceptions), I would be (删) disagree with the second view, and as a matter of fact, partly agree with the first view.
assertion and hold that （?） the greatness can be decided by not only the people in the later time, but also the contemporaries.

To begin with, I turn to my agreement with the speaker by two reasons. First of all, limiting （limited） by the scope of knowledge or experience, the contemporaries often ignore the greatness of individuals. History has plenty of such examples that can substentiate (substantiate) this point: sometimes, a piece of research will go largely ignored, only to rediscovered in subsequent years. McCintock, an American geneticist, who discovered the jumping gene In 1940's, did not draw any great concern until the 1960's and won the 1983 Nobel Price for his accomplishment, more than 35 years after his research; Darwin, whose ideas--known as the Darwin's theory of evolution is eventually accepted by most biologists as a basestone of the biology, though initially castigated by general public in his times.

Moreover, even if the attainment is noticed by the people, it is also all likelihood that the contemporaries does not acknowledge this greatness. There are many reasons contribute to this and I list three of them here. First, greatness often object the authorities, which tend to monopoly the specialized field due to the aggressive human nature, thereby excluding the others' greatness. Second, the discoveries or attainments are often so advanced to be understood by the commonalty, which often require enough specific knowledge to do this, let alone to acknowledge the greatness of individuals. For instance, Van Gogh, whose painting is brought for sixty dollars a hundred years after his death, never made a dime while his was alive.(in his life) 这里的论据。。真的死后一百年才卖60刀的吗

Next, I turn to my contention with the speaker that the contemporaries also can realise and acknowledge the greatness because the contemporaries can directly get benefits from it. A current example, Edision's greatness can offer weight in point. Thanks to Edision's inventions--such as the electronic light bulb, now we can enjoy a bright night; thanks to the photograph, split second of our life can be recorded; and thanks to the telephone, we can communicate with each other without meeting. All of these enhance the level and quality of our life. Of course, his initial invention might become historical relics and not give a convience? to the modern people--who live after him, but Edision's greatness is secured.

Furthermore, people can deduce the individual's greatness by their knowledge and references. In modern society, as a consequence of increasing developed education, information and technology, the greatness can be well justified by the contemporary individuals who are more civilized and informed than before.

In sum, the greatness may be not decided by the contemporaries because of being ignored or acknowledged by the contemporary authorities and commons .（这个句子有点别扭，前后似乎矛盾了） However, by directly benefiting from the great exploit or deducing, the contemporary people also can realize and acknowledge the individual's greatness--not only those who live after, specially the more informed modern people.

我觉得逻辑挺有条理的，例证也充分，就是在用词上感觉有的地方太罗嗦了，细节语病和拼写也值得注意

[ 本帖最后由夜羽沐尘于 2007-2-3 00:42 编辑 ]

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