[转] How College Students Write Essays (funny!) [复制链接]

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发表于 2002-12-12 20:16:52 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

How College Students Write Essays

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lit place in
front of your computer.

2. Log onto MSN and ICQ (be sure to go on away!). Check your email.

3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you
understand it.

4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some chocolate to help
you concentrate.

5. Check your email.

6. Call up a friend and ask if he/she wants to go to the caf and
grab a hot chocolate. Just to get settled down and ready to work.

7. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable
chair in a clean, well lit place.

7a. If your room is not clean, take out the garbage and vacuum
first.

8. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you
understand it.

9. Check your email.

10. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since
fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now and get it out of
the way so you can concentrate.

11. Look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.

12. Grab some mp3z off of kazaa.

13. Check your email.

ANY OF THIS SOUND FAMILIAR YET?!

14. MSN chat with one of your friends about the future (ie summer
plans ... or movin to CALI!).

15. Check your email.

16. Listen to your new mp3z and download some more.

17. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if she's started
writing yet. Exchange derogatory remarks about your prof, the
course, the college, the world at large.

18. Walk to the store and buy a pack of gum. You've probably run
out.

19. While you've got the gum you may as well buy a magazine and
read it.

20. Check your email.

21. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing
something truly worthwhile on TV.

22. Play some solitare.

23. Check out bored.com.

24. Wash your hands.

25. Call up a friend to see how much they have done, probably
haven't started either.

26. Look through your housemate's book of pictures from home. Ask
who everyone is.

27. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the
future. (LIKE MOVIN TO CALI!)

28. Check to see if bored.com has been updated yet.

29. Check your email and listen to your new mp3z

30. You should be rebooting by now, assuming that windows is
crashing on schedule.

31. Read over the assignment one more time, just for heck of it.

32. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the
sunrise.

33. Lie face down on the floor and moan.

34. Punch the wall and break something.

35. Check your email.

36. Mumble obscenities.

37. 5am - start hacking on the paper without stopping. 6am - paper
is finished.

38. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you
had to write that stupid paper.

39. Go to class, hand in paper, and leave right away so you can
take a nap.

歸去來兮，田園將蕪胡不歸？
既自以心為形役，奚惆悵而獨悲！
悟已往之不諫，知來者之可追。
實迷途其未遠，覺今是而昨非。

木ノ葉舞うところに火は燃ゆる
火の影は里を照らし、また木ノ葉は芽吹く
----ナルト