Phoenix小组组员4号习作(ISSUE2.16)

86145787UID: 2672301

43"To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards."

1.effective leader     highest ethical    moral standards
2.正面leader need ethic and moral
3.leader need effective ability more than ethic and moral
4.反面if a leader lack ethical and moral standards
5.comclusion: a leader need but not must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards.

  The speaker claims that a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards to be an effective leader. However I do not agree with. Maybe what a public official actually need is not ethic and moral but ability of solving problems and communication.
  Admittedly, a successful leader, no matter a public official or company executive he or she is, really need to maintain high ethical and moral standards. We all kown that ex-president of United States Bill Clinton almost lost his job when his relationship with his hemale assistant was revealed by media. Just because this crisis damaged his ethical and moral image in people's mind. So if it were not for his effort to rebuild his moral image as soon as prossable, nomatter how capable in polity he was he probablely had lost his job then. To be a public leader, a presentive of govenment, it is very cucial to maintain a pretty high ethical and moral standards. Because behavior of a leader will have a profound influence in the society, especially in the social moral field. Definetely, most of indeviduals want to improve their society and live in the society with high moral and ethical standards. So it is reasonable to claim that they need a leader with high ethical and moral standards.
  However, to attain high ethical and moral although it is a important essensial a leader should have, it is not the most important one. Solving problems in the goverment and communicate with others who need help is priority of a public offical. Imagine that if Bill Clinton only have very high ethical and moral standerds but inferire policy skills, high impolyment rate and bad economical reality, people would never have forgiven his little mistake of moral. Therefore being a leader requires not merely high moral and ethicl standards, but skillful ability to solve varied issues and problems, including producing more job oppotunity, averaging the incomes of different ranks people and providing fantastic health system. Because these are that people really care about, what determine their daily life. But people also require a better society in ethic and moral aspect.
  Although to be an effective leader, a skillful management and ability of solving kinds of tough problems of goverment is crucially required, high ethical and moral standards should be maintained by a public official. In addition, it is undeniable that Hitler is a outstanding political and militry leader of German, but if he could attain much higher ethical and moral standards, the World War will not be set up. Therefor a public official must maintain high ethical and moral standards.
  In sum, although outstanding political skills can make a leader be effective, high standards of ethic and moral are indispensable.

ningbo1990UID: 2641538

路过看到你的文章放着晒太阳，帮你改一下。
其中修改不对的地方还请指出批评。
43"To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards."

1.effective leader     highest ethical    moral standards
2.正面leader need ethic and moral
3.leader need effective ability more than（as important as比较好） ethic and moral
4.反面if a leader lack ethical and moral standards
5.comclusion conclusion: a leader need but not must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards.

(首句前面不要空格，写完一段空一行)
The speaker claims that a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards to be an effective leader. However I do not agree with it. Maybe what a public official actually need is not ethic and moral but ability of solving problems and (这里少了动词难道是solving? 我用个比较土鳖的词making) communication.

Admittedly, a successful leader, no matter a public official or company executive he or she is, he or she really needs to maintain high ethical and moral standards. (最好有个举例的信号词) We all kown that ex-president of United States Bill Clinton almost lost his job when his relationship with his hemale assistant was revealed by media. Just because this crisis damaged his ethical and moral image in people's mind. So if it were not for his effort to rebuild his moral image as soon as prossable, nomatter how capable in polity he was he probablely had lost his job then(这句话就是ETS说的累赘话). To be a public leader, a presentive of govenment, it(为什么要用it，两个主句啦。) is very cucial to maintain a pretty high ethical and moral standards, because the behavior of a leader will have a profound influence in to the society, especially in the social moral field. Definetely, most of indeviduals want to improve their society and live in the society with high moral and ethical standards. So it is reasonable to claim that they need a leader with high ethical and moral standards.(这段话累不累赘啊，你BALA。。。BALA。。。说一堆其实就是为了说明第一句话，推荐一种写法，我自己看范文的心得，高分的英语作文都是，主题1+对主题的解释+例子+主题2+对主题的解释2+例子…..你不用把例子说完了后又重新解释下例子，然后说啊说啊还是说同一个主题，超级啰唆！)

However, to attain high ethical and moral, although, it is a important essensial?????????????!!!!!!!!!令人发指丧心病狂的中式英语而且还少一个修饰名词 a leader should have, it is not the most important one. Solving problems in the goverment and communicate with others who need help is priority of a public offical. Imagine that if Bill Clinton only（本来你的逻辑我想在后面说的，这里看到了就和你说下把，你这个例子举得很不恰当，因为你说only have very high ethical，你前面的逻辑就应该是说仅仅有道德是不够的，还要有政治啊实力啊等等，第一段是说品德重要性，第二段应该说仅仅有品德不够，还有其他东西，结论应该是一个领导者应该要有高的品德和政治实力。但是你想说的是不需要保证最高的品德，请问这点你反驳了没有，为什么不需要保证最高的道德，因为政治实力很重要？难道不可以一个领导人道德品质最高实力也很强吗？这句话如果没有看懂可以继续问我。推荐这篇文章重写。重写后我还可以帮你改。） have very high ethical and moral standerds but inferire policy skills, high impolyment rate and bad economical reality, people would never have forgiven his little mistake of moral. Therefore being a leader requires not merely high moral and ethicl standards, but skillful ability to solve varied issues and problems, including producing more job oppotunity, averaging the incomes of different ranks people and providing fantastic health system. Because these are that people really care about, what determine their daily life. But people also require a better society in ethic and moral aspect.

Although to be an effective leader, a skillful management and ability of solving kinds of tough problems of goverment is crucially required, high ethical and moral standards should be maintained by a public official.（你真强大！！文章蜿蜒曲折！！第一段到第二段你说虽然道德好，实力更重要，第二段到第三段说虽然实力重要还要道德好！！你到底想转到什么时候!!） In addition, it is undeniable(没有人想deny你，你自己也没有deny你来个undeniable干什么？) that Hitler is a outstanding political and militry leader of German, but if he could attain much higher ethical and moral standards, the World War will not be set up. Therefor a public official must maintain high ethical and moral standards.

In sum, although outstanding political skills can make a leader be effective, high standards of ethic and moral are indispensable.

1.这篇文章是不是没有放在word里面检查错别单词？错别字太多了。错别字自己改了。
2.作为一篇GRE文章，最后没有升华主题就算了，竟然把文章仅仅有的2个方面没有写出逻辑。不过例子很好。
3.比上次我改的那篇还是进步很多，中式英语少了很多，句子也更容易让人读懂了。
4.推荐重新写过，逻辑严谨。
5.批的过猛还请见谅。