norra的独立写作作文贴

norraUID: 2782571

第一次在这里发作文，感到很新鲜，欢迎大家狠拍！！

ilovevickyUID: 2937658

60# 942wade


不好意思，现在才把1111的作业批好。


11月11日交


Newspapers and magazines are the best way of learning about a foreign country？




Different culture and landscapes in foreign countries attract people because they are strange and full of mystery. There are many ways to learn about foreign country: newspapers ,magazines, radios ,TV and internet, but not all of them are the best, which one is the best? Hence, if someone states that magazines and newspapers are the best way of gaining knowledge about a foreign country, they will meet serious disagreement from me. 开头简洁明了

When people are children, they can not read , they acquire the knowledge from parents or TV. Most of the children may ask their parents the beautiful views of the picture located where ,their parents may tell them it is the view of Southern Africa ,and
tell them some stories about that area, such as the wild elephants or gorillas live on that land. These children also can get those knowledge from TV programs, the lecturer may tell them the story of Paris ,and introduce the history of France to them, such as the time of empire Napoleon. （T）to the contrary, they can not read ,so they can not get those thing from newspaper or magazines.
这段很有说服力，视角独特。
Plus, if people grow older, they will go to school and the teachers will teach them knowledge about foreign countries. They may gradually familiar different cultures of different countries. My younger brother Lin Tao ,often discuss the history of world war 2 with me .His teacher teach him the evils did by Hitler and his fellows ,so he get to know that the Germany have passed though a extremely hard time ,when Nazi control its government.
我发现你写的细节很棒。但是这里如果能像上一段一样再踩报纸和杂志一脚就更棒了。
If peoples are adults, they spend most of their time surfing on the internet, searching different pictures ,texts and videos about foreign countries .They prefer internet and TV to magazines and newspapers when they want to learn more about foreign countries.
我觉得这样按年龄分类很有条理，以前有老师也这么讲过，感觉你实践地蛮好。
On account of that the children, teenagers and adults are have their preference when they try to learn about foreign countries, I strongly agree that magazines and newspapers are not the best way to acquire knowledge of other country. Actuall0y , there is no particular way which is the best, the fittest is the best. 恩这句话总结得好！
总体来说词汇语法结构都很好，我要向你好好学习。Adults那段个人认为以你的水平还能扩充。加油！！！

942wadeUID: 2948617

11月18日交

it is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because of the lose of old friends.

  
People barely stay in a place for their whole life, that(把逗号删去，你后面的不是非限制定于从句吧，或者在that前加上and) means a meaningless（没意思表达的感觉太直白，太绝对了） life. When the vice chancellor of Oxford University come（过去） to our university to give an address, he told the young man（感觉不妥，像是对某个特定的年轻人说的，前面有没有提及，可能用us youths比较好）:" Keep moving,（and或者分成两句话） never rest. "What he want（s to） infer is moving to other places means more opportunities for better education and（or会比较好一些吧，我也不清楚） good jobs. So from my point of view , to move to a new city or a new country is a good thing（Is good就好了，否则的话好事情感觉太中国化了 ）. My reasons （just as 去掉此处加include后what面的include可以去掉了）not only just as I have mentioned above, but also include the followings.

Moving（后面的主语应该是move的发起者） to a new place ,the soaring technology can make us keep in touch with old friends. Now we get（have got可能好些吧） internet and mobile phones. We can connect with each other in a very convenient way on account of that the scientists have invented Windows Massagers, ICQ or send short massage to other（s 感觉这句逻辑不通）, even（even if，even自己不能作连词的） we live in different cities. One of my friend（s） in high school flied to United States, and stay there for further study. We still keep in touch until now,缺连词 we chat on the QQ and exchange information on the social network sites like Facebook, 连词we （are）still best friends.

Plus, may be(maybe才是副词) people do（do后不可以加情态词的） will lose connect with some of the old friends when they move to other places. That is pity. However, They may gain more things. They will meet some new friends. I studied in a university located in north China One of my classmates in universities moved to a city located in south China when he graduated. He had send massages to us said that he miss us because he feel lonely there, but after not very long time he made several new friends and met a girl there .She became his wife one year later. So it is not bad thing to move to new places.

Make a change of living places, moving to other city or countries. People will got more opportunities for job or education ,and they still have the chance to keep in touch with old friends , besides ,they can meet some new friends. Hence ,why not keep moving? just go ahead, more gorgeous opportunities is waiting you in the corner.

没有看完，下周末就考试了，任务还很重。简单说一下啊，说实话语法错误比较多。建议多练习一些。个人粗评，我也有很多类似的问题，共同努力吧！！！

norraUID: 2782571

11.18,求重拍

norraUID: 2782571

11.13,求重拍

norraUID: 2782571

10月12日交

09.03.29 do you agree or disagree, students will not use printed books anymore.

    Nowadays increasing number of news are beginning pay attention to the fact that with the developing of the electric teaching equipments, such as computers , the printed books will gradually replaced by them. Students may will not use printed books anymore.

   As for me, I fully agree that statement, due to following reasons: firstly, the use of computers is becoming more and more popular; secondly, the price of electronic teaching equipments is lowering down and becoming smaller; thirdly, the use computers for teaching is more convenient.

   To begin with, computers are becoming more and more popular .In the universities, nearly every student have got a computer. It is a common phenomenon that the teachers give their assignments on the internet, when the students finished their homework, they also upload to the internet for teacher's checking. When they feel tired, they watch films and play games on the computer. So they need computers everyday.


  Furthermore, the price of computers is lower enough for nearly most of the families to afford, and become smaller too, with the development of the technology, they will becoming more lower in the future. In the past, books still been used by the teachers and students due to that computers are too expensive and heavy. Hence, nowadays, those computers’ price is lower enough for ordinary people and the invention of laptop made us can easily carry it everywhere.

  In the end, teachers and students find that when use computers to teach is more convenient. Many contents of the books have been transferred into electronic resources, easy for checking and references. For example, in the days I just use books for study, if I want to check some research topics ,I have to go to the library and check it in hundreds of books, but now I have a computer ,then if I want check something ,I just need login the electronic library of my universities and type into some words. Then the results come out and showed on the screen. Students can use computers to show multi-media assignments such as PPT and video, that will made their assignment more wonderful.

  In conclusion, on account that computers becoming more and more popular, both the price and the weight of it lowering down, and they are more convenient. Students will not use printed books anymore.

asamsunUID: 2884772

改好了，呵呵～

葛佳UID: 2725332

10月7日交
09.03.21NA    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To remain happy and optimistic when you fail is more important than achieving success

   Nowadays an increasing number of people are beginning to concern a problem: We have to meet some failures in our daily life, and some times we gain success. Hence what is more important? To remain happy and optimistic when we fail or achieving success?  In my standpoint of view , to remain happy and optimistic is more essential than achieving success, on account of that on the one hand we have to face up to some failure ,and we must not to be beaten down by them ,on the other hand ,we can thought a lesson and learn more life experiences from the failures.

    In one aspect, most of the people would meet a great amount of failures, may be 【Maybe】much more than their getting success. So it is more crucial for us to remain happy and optimistic. Couldn’t just think about that before Edison invented the lights drive by electric he has failed nearly thousands of times? Couldn’t we just, based on our ration, get to know that if we remain in unhappy and can not recover from the failure, our life will become a messy and meaningless? Couldn’t we just consider that if we can not face the challenge, our beloved parents and dear friends will get a heart broken? So we need to know this, and try to be mentally strong.[ 排比句用的好，但是有点长， 不让一读懂]

   In the other aspect, if we achieved a success, we might become proud and do not want learn more. But if we failed, we might pause for a while and learn many things from it. As for me ,I failed in the exam ,then I got to know where is my shortcomings of my study., and what kind of knowledge I have to learn in the future. I find my failure in history exam is due to that I just memory the historic issues and pay little attention to study some theories. So I might get a chance to perfect my knowledge structure and improve my ability of learning. 【加上总结这段的句子】
     
In conclusion , the failures is a kind of tough things often take place in our life, learn to deal with it in a positive way will benefit us, and from the failure we can learn more experiences. Consequently To remain happy and optimistic when you fail is more important than achieving success。

总体写的不错。

norraUID: 2782571

10月7日作文，见附件，求重批。

ttuuttuuUID: 2299729

09.01.17 NA   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits./ d' I6 D/ d0 m

In a famous book which name is a Tale of Two Cities ,the author Charles Dickens  wrote "It was the best of times ,it was the worst of times." As to me, it is neither best times nor worst times, it is just the advertising's times. Advertisements like a kind of spreading virus, most people have been influenced by it .When  come to its results , an increasing number of people  concerned that whether it is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits .In view of the power of advertising , I fully agree with the statement that it is the most important cause.' Z& ^! Y' C2 F+ t6 ?
4 E( K* M3 X* E
   
Without advertising ,the children would not lured by the color appearance of the snacks. Without advertising ,the children would not learn the kids in the TV advertisements),eat too much differentcandies and other fast foods, so that they can eat more dinner. Without advertising , these children would not to ask more extra money to buy those rubbish foods.

As I just mentioned above, the advertisements insert into the TV programs and websites, provide virous kinds of colorful snacks, cadies or other faster foods, and tell them it is taste by show them some happy kids. This absolutely is a kind of lay. Most of the foods they offered have very high calories. The chilren eat them, then do not want any dinner, and ask more money to purchase them. Hence ,the unhealthy eating habits formed. This is a disaster. Effective measures shoul be taken to stop this.6 S3 ]& ~; _+ B& e  i7 b
# H# n6 r# p) n
      In conclusion , the fast spreading advertisng provide some snacks, cadies and other faster foods ,and tey their best to attrct the children's attention ,in order to sell those high calorie foods to them. Lead them formed som unhealthy eating habits. There is no denying, we need to say :advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.

Typo多了點，開頭與結論句都寫的不錯，
建議 練習三點寫法

jcf2008UID: 2681015

In a famous book which name is a Tale of Two Cities, the author Charles Dickens wrote "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." As to me, it is neither best times nor worst times, it is just the advertising's times. Advertisements like a kind of spreading virus, most people have been influenced by it. (Like a spreading virus, advertisements have influenced many people greatly.)When come to its results, an increasing number of people concerned (that) whether it is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits .In view of the power of advertising, I fully agree with the statement that it is the most important cause.


Without advertising, the children would not lured by the color appearance of the snacks. Without advertising, the children would not learn(中式英语了~) the kids in the TV advertisements, eat too much different candies and other fast foods, so that they can eat more dinner. Without advertising, these children would not to ask more extra money to buy those rubbish foods.* @6 R' v9 l  s7 S/ x

As I just mentioned above, the advertisements insert into the TV programs and websites, provide various kinds of colorful snacks, cadies or other faster foods, and tell them(指代不清) it is taste by show them some happy kids. This absolutely is a kind of lay. Most of the foods they offered have very high calories. The children eat them, then do not want any dinner, and ask more money to purchase them. Hence, the unhealthy eating habits formed. This is a disaster. Effective measures should be taken to stop this.

In conclusion, the fast spreading advertising provide some snacks, cadies and other faster foods, and tey their best to attrct the children's attention, in order to sell those high calorie foods to them. Lead them formed som unhealthy eating habits. There is no denying, we need to say: advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.
文章句式和用词较单一，例子有些绝对。有些拼写错误和单复数要注意下，还有论证不太有说服力。还需要加油哈~

norraUID: 2782571

10月5日交

  09.01.17 NA   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.

    In a famous book which name is a Tale of Two Cities ,the author Charles Dickens  wrote "It was the best of times ,it was the worst of times." As to me ,it is neither best times nor worst times, it is just the advertising's times. Advertisements like a kind of spreading virus, most people have been influenced by it .When  come to its results , an increasing number of people  concerned that whether it is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits .In view of the power of advertising , I fully agree with the statement that it is the most important cause.

   
     Without advertising ,the children would not lured by the color appearance of the snacks. Without advertising ,the children would not learn the kids in the TV advertisements),eat too much differentcandies and other fast foods, so that they can eat more dinner. Without advertising , these children would not to ask more extra money to buy those rubbish foods.

      As I just mentioned above, the advertisements insert into the TV programs and websites, provide virous kinds of colorful snacks, cadies or other faster foods,and tell them it is taste by show them some happy kids. This absolutely  is a kind of lay. Most of the foods they offered have very high calories.The chilren eat them ,then do not want any dinner, and ask more money to purchase them.Hence ,the unhealthy eating habits formed.This is a disaster.Effective measures shoul be taken to stop this.

      In conclusion , the fast spreading advertisng provide some snacks, cadies and other faster foods ,and tey their best to attrct the children's attention ,in order to sell those high calorie foods to them.Lead them formed som unhealthy eating habits. There is no denying , we need to say :advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.

haoannaUID: 2582245

已改

norraUID: 2782571

谢谢你的认真修改：）


18# 顺水飘扬