小C的作文贴

candis712UID：2824089

托福写作互改小组   2.10  第一次来。。。 只有独立写作
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The environmental issue is too complex to be handled by the individual.

There is a public controversy about whether the individual have the ability to take care of environmental issue. A majority of people think the environmental problem is too vague and abstract to be solved by each single person. They claim that it is the job of government as well as the environmental institution to concern about the healthy of our planet. However, I believe that individuals could produce strong power to deal with this tough task, and they should be aware of this undeniable duty.

Admittedly, the environmental issue is really a wide and endless problem in human history which could not be ignored by any aspect of our society. It involves with kinds of pollution including air, water, sound pollution, saving natural energy resources as well as protecting endangered animals. In order to improve the environment condition, groups of scientists or institutions have been working on it for many years. They try to understand the rule of nature, decode the mystery of environmental balance, invent new environmental friendly equipments. A lot of efforts have been done, but the key of solving this big problem is still hold in the hands of individual.

In fact, environment issue is huge problem could only be fixed with the efforts of individual since the decision of individual determines the trend of environment. The environmental issue is not so undefeatable as it seems to be once every individual is willingly to take the responsibility to face the problem directly. Take the limited energy resources for example. Many countries and regions are trying their best to eliminate the alarm of shortage of natural energy through finding new alternative ways to get power or cutting down the quantity of supplement. But it is the individual that is the prominent power and strength during this process. Only if they follow the instructions and polices, replace traditional energy resource into alternative one, could the speed of exhausting natural resource be reduced to an acceptable level.

Meanwhile, though the function of each element in the ecology system is pretty complex and delicate to be understood, but the way to promote the environment condition into a better level is simple and easy for individual to follow. Due to the fact that environment surrounding us has a close relationship with human being’s every movement and behavior, it could be relieved, to some degree, by individual’s daily conduct. Whether one is aware of it or not, every individual could deal with environmental issue through some small action, such as dividing the waste into different groups for recycle use, reducing the quantity of water usage at home positively. Sometimes, even by providing a bleeding young bird a nest to stay for a couple of days may be beneficial to enlarge the number of the whole specie. To every common people, fighting with environmental issue is just as simple as this.

In conclusion, the theory of the environment issue is undoubtedly not easy to analysis, while the individual could still take some simple steps to protect our world: take serious attitude with the global challenge, think the interest of animals and plants first before each action, leave enough resource to next generation for them to survive. Deep down, I trust that individual’s effort could change the world.

candis712UID：2824089

3.20的托福成绩出来啦， 考完本来很郁闷，独立是互改组里出过的题，可惜没练，最后还写走题了，悲剧。。。 好在综合还可以 good+ fair 24。 虽然远没有预期的好，但是也算勉强了，一战99。今天上来感谢所有组里的同学，一起加油！

tulipzongUID：2803521

Do you think people should buy things made in their own country, even the price is higher than same things made somewhere else.) h, D) k' B  x5 U
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Due to (the) globalization and increasing international trade, diverse products from different countries are now available in local market. Some people argue that in order to protect the economic system and business interest of their country, people should buy things made by their own country regardless of the price. However, I believe that it is wise for permitting consumers to chose the products they want, rather than forced to buy local things./ o, G$ N, Y* \/ \

4 i# B1 ^  E4 E+ n+ _2 u7 L$ yThe first point locates on the interest of most people. From (the) perspective of a common consumer, the features of suitable good include (the) high quality as well as reasonable price. If people have to buy everything which is produced in their country without considering the fact that whether the price is lower than imported one or the quality is better, their personal interests must be harmed. For example, in china, many imported electronic products seem to be more attractive than local ones, especially (the) laptops and MP3. Certainly, it is unfair to argue every citizen to sacrifice their own interest and pay the extra money to support local companies.
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. |$ T$ T1 r6 b/ N2 r  P% XFurthermore, it is the local company which should take the responsibility to improve the level of products, try to gain more market share, rather than the consumers. When consumers became favor of foreign brand, what the companies are supposed to do is to figure out the contributors to the trend, instead of just persuading people to buy their things without acceptable reasons. They have to compare the goods from foreign countries with their own, analyzing and absorbing the advantages of foreign goods as well as eliminating the former drawbacks in their own products. After this process, a serial of adjustments could allow the local brand to improve into a better level and attract consumers again. This is also the excellent meaning of international trade which is that each country could share their fruits with others while receive the deserved reward meantime.
To sum up, I strongly suggest that every consumer should follow the nature rule of free market, selecting the products according to individual preferences, because these behaviors not only protect their own interest, but also benefit the development of local business from the long term viewpoint.
厄，不好意思，上周突然有事，所以才改，实在不好意思，急着改了下，不足之处，请见谅

Go2011GoUID：3006241

修改 by Go2011
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Due to the globalization and increasing international trade, diverse products from different countries are now available in local market. Some people argue that in order to protect the economic system and business interest of their country, people have to buy things made by their country regardless the price. However, I believe that it is wise for permitting consumers to choice the products they want, rather than enforcing them to buy local things.; N- _$ F( L9 Q2 ?$ |
5 G- K% X% B& k: l! `  q& \
The first point locates on the interest of most people. From the perspective of a common consumer, the features of suitable goods include the high quality as well as reasonable price. If people have to buy everything which is produced in their country without considering the fact that whether the price is lower than imported one or the quality is better, their personal interests must be harmed. For example, in china, many imported electronic products seem to be more attractive than local ones, especially the laptops and MP3, then, it is unfair to argue every citizen to sacrifice their own interest, pay the extra money to support local companies.
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Furthermore, it is the local company who should take the responsibility to improve the level of products, trying to gain more market share, rather than the consumers. When consumers became favor of foreign brand, what the companies are supposed to do is to figure out the contributors to the trend, instead of just persuading people to buy their things without acceptable reasons. They have to compare the goods from foreign countries with their own, analyzing and absorbing the advantages of foreign goods as well as eliminating the former drawbacks in their own products. After this process, a serial of adjustments could allow the local brand to improve into a better level and attract consumers again. This is also the excellent meaning of international trade that each country could share their fruits with others while receive the deserved reward meantime.
To sum up, I strongly suggest that every consumer should follow the nature rule of free market, selecting the products according to individual preferences, because these behaviors not only protect their own interest, but also benefit the development of local business from the long term viewpoint.

写得非常好，语言很流畅，从customer和local company两方面去说,读着很舒服～～学习了

candis712UID：2824089

3.14 独立
Do you think people should buy things made in their own country, even the price is higher than same things made somewhere else.

Due to the globalization and increasing international trade, diverse products from different countries are now available in local market. Some people argue that in order to protect the economic system and business interest of their country, people have to buy things made by their country regardless the price. However, I believe that it is wise for permitting consumers to choice the products they want, rather than enforcing them to buy local things.

The first point locates on the interest of most people. From the perspective of a common consumer, the features of suitable good include the high quality as well as reasonable price. If people have to buy everything which is produced in their country without considering the fact that whether the price is lower than imported one or the quality is better, their personal interests must be harmed. For example, in china, many imported electronic products seem to be more attractive than local ones, especially the laptops and MP3, then, it is unfair to argue every citizen to sacrifice their own interest, pay the extra money to support local companies.

Furthermore, it is the local company who should take the responsibility to improve the level of products, trying to gain more market share, rather than the consumers. When consumers became favor of foreign brand, what the companies are supposed to do is to figure out the contributors to the trend, instead of just persuading people to buy their things without acceptable reasons. They have to compare the goods from foreign countries with their own, analyzing and absorbing the advantages of foreign goods as well as eliminating the former drawbacks in their own products. After this process, a serial of adjustments could allow the local brand to improve into a better level and attract consumers again. This is also the excellent meaning of international trade which is that each country could share their fruits with others while receive the deserved reward meantime.

To sum up, I strongly suggest that every consumer should follow the nature rule of free market, selecting the products according to individual preferences, because these behaviors not only protect their own interest, but also benefit the development of local business from the long term viewpoint.

伶女UID：2797207

3.11 独立2 d; L! h  i5 }+ X
Taking financial responsibility plays an indispensable role in adults' daily live. Some people suggest that it is beneficial for forgoing this important quality if letting children learn to manage money by themselves at a young age. However, I don't agree with this idea for several reasons.% b/ d3 L5 k+ G  k/ {

Firstly, mastering the skills of money management requires accumulated experiences as well as advanced psychological analyzing ability, which can only be obtained by adults. Money is such a sensitive topic that a child can hardly understand its special meaning. Whether investing extra money on a house or pursuing a small business could lead more money? There is no way for an ignorant你好喜欢用这个词哦，我一直没搞明白它到底有没有贬义 kid to solve such a problem due to lack of professional skills or related experiences.

Furthermore, if young children are forced to manage money at a young age, their viewpoints of value might be twisted, pursuing only maximize of financial benefit. A scientific research indicates that people's social opinions are greatly determined by the education received when they are children. Then telling a seven-year-old boy not to borrow his cash to unfamiliar classmates for no reason, would make him form a thought that friendship is less important than money, though this instruction follows one essential principle of controlling money effectively. As a result, in his mind, many valuable things, such as politeness, love, honor, will be ignored and replaced by money, which is totally a disaster for the whole generation（life因为只针对这个boy）.

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Another point also worthy to be mentioned is that teaching young people the significance of money might add a unsustainable burden on their shoulders. It is commonly accepted that children are supposed to have fun, leaving nothing to worry about. However, allowing them touch the money when they are not ready will definitely bring more troubles since they have to calculate the total money spent everyday, pay attention to the prize of each toy they want to buy, even compare their economic ability with others. Once children's lives have turned into that situation, childhood would mean nothing to them but unhappiness.



v+ D0 h
To sum up, I strongly recommend that children are not suitable to deal with money too hurry, this assignment not only expands far beyond their capacity, but also would harm children's healthy development.

不好意思来晚了
很好，很有说服力，写了我很难想出来的三个论点啊，例子也挺好，长句越写越精彩了，依然学习了～～

ningzhithmUID：2680175

Taking financial responsibility plays an indispensable role in adults' daily live.(life) Some people suggest that it is beneficial for forgoing this important quality if letting children learn to manage money by themselves at a young age. However, I don't agree with this idea for several reasons.- M0 C+ d- p- }$ A

Firstly, mastering the skills of money management requires accumulated experiences as well as advanced psychological analyzing ability, which can only be obtained by adults. Money is such a sensitive topic that a child can hardly understand its special meaning. Whether investing extra money on a house or pursuing a small business could lead more money?( 主语从句 ?) There is no way for an ignorant kid to solve such a problem due to lack of professional skills or related experiences.

Furthermore, if young children are forced to manage money at a young age, their viewpoints of value might be twisted, pursuing only maximize of financial benefit. A scientific research indicates that people's social opinions are greatly determined by the education received when they are children. Then telling a seven-year-old boy not to borrow (lend)his cash to unfamiliar classmates for no reason, would make him form a thought that friendship is less important than money, though this instruction follows one essential principle of controlling money effectively. As a result, in his mind, many valuable things, such as politeness, love, honor, will be ignored and replaced by money, which is totally a disaster for the whole generation.

Another point also(删掉 also) worthy to be mentioned is that teaching young people the significance of money might add a unsustainable burden on their shoulders. It is commonly accepted that children are supposed to have fun, leaving nothing to worry about. However, allowing them touch the(删掉 the) money when they are not ready will definitely bring more troubles since they have to calculate the total money spent everyday, pay attention to the prize of each toy they want to buy, even compare their economic ability with others. Once children's lives have turned into that situation, childhood would mean nothing to them but unhappiness.
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To sum up, I strongly recommend that children are not suitable to deal with money too hurry(hurriedly), this assignment not only expands far beyond their capacity, but also would harm children's healthy development.


论点很充分  学习了

ningzhithmUID：2680175

Taking financial responsibility plays an indispensable role in adults' daily live.(life) Some people suggest that it is beneficial for forgoing this important quality if letting children learn to manage money by themselves at a young age. However, I don't agree with this idea for several reasons.- M0 C+ d- p- }$ A

Firstly, mastering the skills of money management requires accumulated experiences as well as advanced psychological analyzing ability, which can only be obtained by adults. Money is such a sensitive topic that a child can hardly understand its special meaning. Whether investing extra money on a house or pursuing a small business could lead more money?( 主语从句 ?) There is no way for an ignorant kid to solve such a problem due to lack of professional skills or related experiences.

Furthermore, if young children are forced to manage money at a young age, their viewpoints of value might be twisted, pursuing only maximize of financial benefit. A scientific research indicates that people's social opinions are greatly determined by the education received when they are children. Then telling a seven-year-old boy not to borrow (lend)his cash to unfamiliar classmates for no reason, would make him form a thought that friendship is less important than money, though this instruction follows one essential principle of controlling money effectively. As a result, in his mind, many valuable things, such as politeness, love, honor, will be ignored and replaced by money, which is totally a disaster for the whole generation.

Another point also(删掉 also) worthy to be mentioned is that teaching young people the significance of money might add a unsustainable burden on their shoulders. It is commonly accepted that children are supposed to have fun, leaving nothing to worry about. However, allowing them touch the(删掉 the) money when they are not ready will definitely bring more troubles since they have to calculate the total money spent everyday, pay attention to the prize of each toy they want to buy, even compare their economic ability with others. Once children's lives have turned into that situation, childhood would mean nothing to them but unhappiness.
! {  c! X- a; d' n
To sum up, I strongly recommend that children are not suitable to deal with money too hurry(hurriedly), this assignment not only expands far beyond their capacity, but also would harm children's healthy development.


论点很充分  学习了

candis712UID：2824089

3.11 独立
Taking financial responsibility plays an indispensable role in adults' daily live. Some people suggest that it is beneficial for forgoing this important quality if letting children learn to manage money by themselves at a young age. However, I don't agree with this idea for several reasons.

Firstly, mastering the skills of money management requires accumulated experiences as well as advanced psychological analyzing ability, which can only be obtained by adults. Money is such a sensitive topic that a child can hardly understand its special meaning. Whether investing extra money on a house or pursuing a small business could lead more money? There is no way for an ignorant kid to solve such a problem due to lack of professional skills or related experiences.

Furthermore, if young children are forced to manage money at a young age, their viewpoints of value might be twisted, pursuing only maximize of financial benefit. A scientific research indicates that people's social opinions are greatly determined by the education received when they are children. Then telling a seven-year-old boy not to borrow his cash to unfamiliar classmates for no reason, would make him form a thought that friendship is less important than money, though this instruction follows one essential principle of controlling money effectively. As a result, in his mind, many valuable things, such as polite, love, honor, will be ignored and replaced by money, which is totally a disaster for the whole generation.

Another point also worthy to be mentioned is that teaching young people the significance of money might add a unsustainable burden on their shoulders. It is commonly accepted that children are supposed to have fun, leaving nothing to worry about. However, allowing them touch the money when they are not ready will definitely bring more troubles since they have to calculate the total money spent everyday, pay attention to the prize of each toy they want to buy, even compare their economic ability with others. Once children's lives have turned into that situation, childhood would mean nothing to them but unhappiness.

To sum up, I strongly recommend that children are not suitable to deal with money too hurry, this assignment not only expands far beyond their capacity, but also would harm children's healthy development.

xyxueyuanUID：2707343

Many young people often lose themselves in deciding which kind of job they should take after graduation. Although long-term job which provide security and constancy are the first choice for a great number of young graduates, I agree with the statement that taking a few jobs in various areas before finding a relatively stable one could help people improve themselves and get prepared for the final decision.

To begin with, it is undoubted that different jobs filled with countless adventures and challenges fit young people's appetite perfectly. When people just graduate from school, they might have dozens of dreams and are eager to demonstrate their abilities in any occasions, therefore, taking a try in multiple jobs serves as a great platform for them to exhibit themselves. To contrast, if someone gets a permanent job immediately after graduation, he might get bored and lost their vigor in a short time since he has to repeat the same task for so many times.

Secondly, doing various jobs first benefits young people to perform more excellently when they get the permanent career, because they could forgo proficient skills to handle unexpected events and accumulate knowledge through this process. Every new job means a total new start. The new strange environment of each job will force people to focus tightly on their work and require them always being ready to response correctly to tough emergencies, both of which are indispensable qualities for career success. The more types of jobs young people experienced, more valuable skills they could obtain. Thus, it is more likely for them to gain success in the long-term job.

Thirdly, trying diverse jobs in various fields helps people find where their interests lie, therefore, they could locate the most suitable job which they want to work for a long time. It is commonly believed that the real career differs significantly from the knowledge written in the text book. Then students can hardly realize what subject attracts them as well as which area they could be competitive in when they begin to search a career. A scientific research indicates that over half of young graduates who quit their job due to the fact that there is an obvious gap between the content of the job and their former imagination. Fortunately, experiencing different jobs offers a best way to solve this problem; actual feeling of the job enables them to understand such area insightfully.

In conclusion, I strongly recommend that it is wise for young people to taste kinds of jobs before they make up their mind to devote great efforts and spend lots of time on a certain area.


写的很好，用词很丰富，条理很清晰，是篇很好的作文。学习了

sun3mayUID：2574771

3.10独立改好了

candis712UID：2824089

谢谢伶女同学的热心修改~

candis712UID：2824089

3.10独立

伶女UID：2797207

3.9 独立. K! K7 F" z8 H* I: r
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
6 a" m& ~# B7 z2 U, ~" eTeacher should or not talking their social or political views to student in the class.. K& z5 q! p0 T9 O  K4 a
3 e5 P# [* z! O+ O# ], i4 Y
There is a hot debate concerning the issue that whether teacher should express their personal social or political opinions to students in the class. Some people argue that teachers could help students establish constructive view points towards social problems by introducing their attitudes. However, I think talking these views has negative effect on every student according to several reasons.
6 A- ?' F4 A7 V& B! I& h- ?8 M2 t) O6 H
Firstly, teachers' responsibilities lay within the arrange of teaching academic knowledge and direct students to conduct right behaviors（学习～～）, while, helping them form social or political views expands far beyond educators' ability. It is not wise for a teacher to talk about his social opinions in the class since it would take up students’ time which is supposed to be spent on learning knowledge or useful skills in academic field. For example, a group of students in my school once complained to me about their biology professor who always boasted his attitudes about the latest news instead of introducing biological term. He took almost more than a half of time in each class to show his brilliant explanations for each major social event. As a result, many students quit this course due to the fact that they learn nothing practical in such class.还是觉得例子还可以简洁点，嘿嘿

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Furthermore, this behavior not only hurt the students' interest in academic learning, it also prevents students from forming independent and critical thinking abilities. As we all know, evaluating sensitive social and political events should be based on accumulated personal experiences, as well as requiring careful consideration, which should be an independent process（好句）. If teachers express their opinion, it might change the children's perspectives, even interrupting their analyzing system, because it is commonly believed that students tend to trust and adopt their teachers' words. What make the situation worse is that teachers' views often mix with their personal emotions, which could never be treated as an acceptable reference for ignorant(innocent是不是好点点) students. Therefore, every teacher should be aware of their special role and avoid mentioning any political criticisms in the class.
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& {0 D/ Q( P! _, e! V. V" eIn conclusion, I strongly recommend that teachers should prevent to express their social and political attitudes in front of student.

结尾感觉比较匆忙，不过整体很好，思路很清晰，反对观点就直接说它影响了什么妨碍了什么，很明了，语言流畅精炼，学习咯

我只是路过哈，呵呵! q. L- `, ?3 V. c

liu9046114UID：2823290

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Teacher should or not talking their social or political views to student in the class.

There is a hot debate concerning the issue that whether teacher should express their personal social or political opinions to students in the class. Some people argue that teachers could help students establish constructive view points towards social problems by introducing their attitudes. However, I think talking these views has negative effect on every student according to several reasons.

Firstly, teachers' responsibilities lay within the arrange(arranging) of teaching academic knowledge and direct students to conduct right behaviors, while, helping them form social or political views expands far beyond educators' ability. It is not wise for a teacher to talk about his social opinions in the class since it would take up students’ time which is supposed to be spent on learning knowledge or useful skills in academic field. For example, a group of students in my school once complained to me about their biology professor who always boasted his attitudes about the latest news instead of introducing biological term. He took almost/ more than（用一个就行） a half of time in each class to show his brilliant explanations for each major social event. As a result, many students quit this course due to the fact that they learn nothing practical in such class.

Furthermore, this behavior not only hurt the students' interest in academic learning, it also prevents students from forming independent and critical thinking abilities. As we all know, evaluating sensitive social and political events should be based on accumulated personal experiences, as well as requiring careful consideration, which should be an independent process. If teachers express their opinion, it might change the children's perspectives, even interrupting their analyzing system, because it is commonly believed that students tend to trust and adopt their teachers' words. What make the situation worse is that teachers' views often mix with their personal emotions, which could never(有点绝对) be treated as an acceptable reference for ignorant students. Therefore, every teacher should be aware of their special role and avoid mentioning any political criticisms in the class.

In conclusion, I strongly recommend that teachers should prevent to express their social and political attitudes in front of student.

整理感觉错误比较少，语言流畅，结构也不错 加油