【Daily Writing作文特训小组】likejin2012的作文贴！求监督！求指导！

likejin2012UID: 2847537

9.17 的托福考试。
为了督促自己每天练习，为了和大家同舟共济，特参加此次Daily Writing作文特训小组活动
希望大家能对我的作文提出宝贵的意见，可大可小，可多可少～～～
再此谢过～～～

wendychuengUID: 2811319

这是8.5的吗 这是TPO几啊？

likejin2012UID: 2847537

8.5 综合
The reading material offers three points to conclude that ethanol is not a good replacement for gasoline. However, the lecture does not agree with that, the speaker lists three reasons to explain why ethanol may be advocated as an alternative to gasoline.

Firstly, contrary to the statement that ethanol, a new kind of fuel, would release carbon dioxide to the environment thus to creat global warming, the listening material gives opinion that ethanol may mot add the amount of carbon dioxide. Because plants can absorb that type of gas by biological process. So planting plants can counter the release of carbon dioxide.

Secondly, the speaker is not approval of the assertion in the reading that the production of ethanol may decrease the amount of food available for animals. He says that one certain part of plants, which is the main component consists the cellwall, can solve the problem. Since that part is not eaten by the animals, people can use that part to produce fuel without reducing the food for animals.

Thirdly, the assumption that the price of ethanol will increase dramatically is not supported by the speaker. In contrast, he thinks that the situation will just be the opposite. Since ethonol is needed, it is not enough .With the increase of production of ethanol, the price will certainly drop. He assumes that when ethanol becomes more available, maybe three times of its current amount , the price would decrease by forty percent.

In all, listening material casts doubts on the views of the reading ,the speaker use three points to make his reasoning convincing.

草莓刨冰UID: 3141036

8月5日 20100313NA Printed books are greater effects on the society than television has.

Reading books and watching television programs are two methods for people to get information and be instructed .There is no doubt that they both have effects on people’s life. However, in terms of the development of the whole society, I definitely agree with the statement that printed books can be more effective and make more influential contributions. There are three reasons as below.

Firstly, people spend more time on printed books than televison television. Especially for the students, school life consists most of their time. (前面两句不太紧凑，建议：Firstly, people spend more time on printed books than television especially for students, who use most of their time on school.)The tTextbook is the most familiar staff for them, it which helps them to understand the world and establish their value systems. What are learnt from books such as the calculation skills ,how to spell are useful for their later life.(完全没读懂。。。) Moreover, students’ behaviors are required to be consistent with the rules and moral standards instructed in books. therefore, people use the skills from textbooks offered to make the society function more efficientyly. Similarly, textbooks make the society in an order through moral instructions. (这段没太看懂，首尾句没有呼应，中心不明确。句子有一些语法错误啥的，所以比较难懂。)

Secondly, printed books exist longer than television does. Since television was invented a long time after the appearance of characters(？？). Information of the history of during pre-television times can only be got from the books innitially. Scientists and researchers study these information to have a glimpse of realize the past thus to show the public the appearance of their ancestors’ lifes lives. Ffor example, geologists may tell the inhabitants that where they live is used to be a vast ocean. Even though some tv programmes record researches and discoveries of the past ,they are based on the information found in the printed books.
Therefore, without the help of the printed books ,we may know less about the world .

Lastly, Most people are watching tv programes to get entertainment or spend their spare time, most people get entertainment or spend their spare time by watching TV programs. However, reading is one means way for them to enrich knowledge and uplift spirits.
On one hand, the content of tv programs are limited that
they which are not as diversed(这里应该用副词) as the books . On the other hand, the purpose of watching tv for many people is to get relaxed, so their brain are reluctant to process information or to learn remember things while they are watching tv. As a consequence, people learn less from TV than printed books. (段中心句最好放在第一句，这样不会容易引起歧义。)

In all. In conclusion, even though television plays an essential part in the modern society, the printed books play a more important role to affect it.

总体感觉：
1.字数比较少，所以不太能够表达清楚你的论点。
2.语法错误和单词拼写错误比较多，希望可以多练习一下语法以及打字。
3.正确句式较为简单，长难句语法错误比较多。建议还是先把简单句写好，以没有错误为先。
4.每段论点不够明确，段首段尾不能构成回应。总体架构不太明晰。建议先列整体提纲，写出段首句，然后再往下细写。

wendychuengUID: 2811319

你的文档我打开是乱码啊 上次你给我改的也是 我用的WPS 不知道是什么问题

愤怒公爵UID: 2929648

8月5日的独立综合，都给你修改了。一起发来吧，楼主要多练习打字啊~

likejin2012UID: 2847537

8.5 independent writing

likejin2012UID: 2847537

8.5综合

JeniusUID: 2964631

实在抱歉现在才改好，前几天个人有点混乱

wendychuengUID: 2811319

另外，你给我改的我打开都是乱码，是我电脑的原因，可是我一直弄不好
麻烦你直接贴一下行吗

wendychuengUID: 2811319

来了~

JeniusUID: 2964631

不好意思，今天忙其他了，8.3独立明早传给你~抱歉了

likejin2012UID: 2847537

8.4 独立文章～

likejin2012UID: 2847537

18# happinessvivi
不好意思，我好像独立的题目写错了，现在改过来了。。。

happinessviviUID: 2837177

搞定！