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555555555555,还是晚了,这么多讨论的啊,imong都来改过了
No.1 issue175 我的第四篇,修改版 创新之个人Vs集体
It is always an individual who is the impetus for innovation; the details may be worked out by a team, but true innovation results from the enterprise and unique perception of an individual.
艺术文学革新(艺术的革新=个人创作+引起跟风)的个人性
早期科学的发现 与简单的设备发明 。
现代科学采取集体创造,因为简单的理论,发现都被早就被搞定了
(下划线表明结构词及提示性词)
单从提纲来看,很有新意。但好像没有涉及两个关键词 the detail & true innovation.
Innovations have been made throughout human history, and two patterns may be roughly seen: the innovation in art, literature and primitive(早期) scientific innovationprimitive science就好了吧 may be the outcome of individual endeavor while contemporary scientific innovation is largely a result of cooperation.一个疑问:将现代的创新限定在scientific上面是否有偏颇?
When we turn to literature and art , their creativity is复数吧。或者加个either, after all, always an individual task such as the conception of some scenarios by Shakespeare or a painting by ofVan Gogh derived from his own impetus. When a new style of writing or a new opus from the composer’s trial may precisely cater to the appetites of the massesmass, suddenly 倒是很突然gain popularity, and start a new genre. So was born an innovation of literature single-handedly. So the individuality of innovation is actually a destined consequence 定语后置?traceable from that the creativity itself is a matter of the artist himself.
In the pioneering day, a single scientist may achieve some primitive scientific discoveries because the basic knowledge wethey held then was too scarcelimited是不是好些?. At that time, when the foundation of contemporary physics was still under construction, fundamental discovery is easy to be found by a single one’s endeavor 这句话有问题,还原一下endeavor found discovery?. For example, the basic rule in the domain of electromagnetism that electricity is associated with magnet 感觉that后饲喂解释有点多余was proved by Faraday himself with a single simple set of instrument. Chemical discovery, mainly the isolation of certain quotidian material was critical just in that people and even chemists themselves lacked the knowledge concerning the constituent of the planet we live in. These innovations, in our eyes, are even too simple for an educated college student.
What succeededvi吧 these basic discoveries is the primitive inventions which were also completed readily by a inventor’s trial. Nobel born with feebleness designed and produced dynamite through toil and ordeal--narrowly escaping several threats from explosion. Other scientists such as Bell, Edison, Flemming(???弗莱明???) almost solely brought forth their own primitive scientific inventions. Admittedly, the breakthrough still need hard-work and perseverance but compared with today’s inventions such as rockets, shuttles, and super computers they are rather simplified at the thought of the gigantic experiments being carried out by many scientists.
As to the contemporary science, when the basic discoveries and inventions have been already depleted and drained这句话没看懂的说 , the innovation has become increasingly sophisticated , and required an exacting task mostly through a myriad of trials with error and correction. Thethe不要吧 computer is a grand可以做定语马? innovation contrived and constructed by the collaboration of multi-national scientists in the consistent aim of decoding—a need for espionage. Besides, the Internet was first developed by the American military and was later discovered useful. Cell phone was another product of military research看不出这个例子跟论点有什么关系. When physicist began to marching into the micro-world, experiment loomed incrediblely difficult . Tons of heavy water and exact measurement were employed handled 两个动词? by the leading scientists in all concerned field to detect the trace of very foundational constituent particles of the world and ourselves. These effort and exertion are already far out of the power of any individual and in need of the universal participation of scientists in many multifarious fields.
And even Bell and Edison the individual innovators noted the importance of cooperation and establish labs employing fellow scientists to work together. All of the illustrations serve as strong examples to remind us the contemporary science is so sophisticated that individual effort is not enough to achieve innovation.
In a word, both patterns of innovation existed but due to disciplinal difference and increasing complexity, the contemporary science, deviated from art, literature and primitive science, adopted the pattern of cooperative innovation.
从思路来说,应该是比较新颖的。界定了连个方面,如果在涉及一下题目中提示的individual cooperation的两个不同方面就更好了;个人感觉可以考虑把B2 B3,B4 B5和在一起写成两段,不过这样写好象也没什么大问题;语言没说的,句式变化很多,难词也很多,很多要借助金山才能看明白,学习ing。如果是现时的,那就是很强的牛人了。今天偶没写issue,看王义夫去了,中国又拿了一块金牌。呼呼~~好爽。希望大家在作文的考试中都能拿到自己心目中的金牌。共勉~~~~明天我也会贴个issue有空帮我看看吧。salute |
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