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Issue136 限时 写得不好,快要考试了,急求狠拍,定回拍
136"The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."
[首先看到这个题目,就觉得这篇文章不太好写]
[我破题是:
I generally agree with the author’s viewpoint. I believe that every problem has its solution except some special circumstance.
1. Sometimes the destiny is not decided by people.
2. The most reasonable approach is that accept the fate and try ones best to fight against the terrible thing.
3. Yet we can’t exclude the circumstance with absence of choice.]
Everyday, we are making decisions and choices, no matter we like it or not. And it is ordinary to hear people complain about the insufficiency of the choices. Nevertheless, choices are not as few as these guys consider. In my opinion, I certainly agree with the idea which the author has asserted that the absence of the choice is a circumstance which is very, very rare.
[开头不错,没啥问题]
First of all, I would like to say that these[people/person] who thought the choices were insufficient was not because the choices themselves but the means in making a choice all seemed to be profitless or hard to succeed to them. There is not circumstance that we have only one choice or no choice in any field or aspect of life. There is the an example from Helen Keller, who is a disable and suffers a lot during her whole life. Maybe even a strong man in Keller's situation would like to choose to death and considered this was the only choice to end the silent and lightless life. However, Keller chose to live, and she studied to speak to others. She well organized her life and became one of the famous writer though she was deaf and blind.[Helen Keller的例子举的很不错] And thinking about the Beethoven, the[+most] gifted musician who was deaf when young[我记得他好象是后来才聋的,他没瞎的话就是了]. What would the ordinary musicians do if they were told that they would never hear the melody? Making choice to end the work as a musician and being depression all through the rest of the life? Beethoven did not.[He chosen to fight against the fate, then the most notable works Fate Symphony was born.] He continued to write scriptures and owed the glory even beyond the deafness, with the ninth symphony, the Choirs. Even in the poorest situation, Keller and Beethoven did not give up the right to choice their ways of living, is there any circumstance that we can not make choices?
[本段观点明确,例证充分,挺好的]
Secondly, choices making are not as complex as most people suggest. Take our daily life for example, there are faculties who complained that the university's improper regulation has restricted their researches in time and finances which make them have no choice but to do researches in poor condition and hardly access their own interests. Though this situation sounds choiceless at first blush[? at first glance], it is not as plausible as we think. In the first place, the faculty has the choice to unite the self-interests with the regulations and find a balance between both. In the second place, he has the choice to ally other colleagues to petition to the government or the Education Department. Even the two choices are invalid, he also has another one, which is, to get off his work and find economical support from corporations interested in the researches or other means to continue both his life and his researches. In this case, the problem is easily solved with at least three choices.
[感觉本段中心不是很明确,是想说making choice is easy? 那不是和第一段重复了吗]
In all, there is no absence of choice but the inconsideration or laziness which prevent people from making their choices. As an old saying, if there is no way walk up, just to climb.
[文章还可以再延伸一点,例如再让步写一段说有些事情确实是不能选择的,象什么自然灾害,或是生老病死什么的] |
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