Argument147 FLY AW 小组第一字作业

xmbjowlUID: 2182375

The author of the editorial asserts that the sale of Whirlwind video games would increase dramatically in the next few months because of the introducing of some newly developed graphic games. To support the argument, he cites the result gathered from the nationwide survey, and attribute the main factor influencing the selling to lifelike graphics.
In the first place, the survey is statistically unreliable. Are the survey’s respondents representative enough? What about the randomness of the survey? The arguer also does not provide any credible evidence concerning the survey, such as the manner of sampling, the total amount of the person interviewed, and the credibility of the responses gathered from the public.
Even the survey is warranted enough, we cannot hastily applied the conclusion, drawn from the survey, to the people 10 to 25 years old. The latter group is just a part of the former, which may not share the entirely same characteristics with the nationwide group. The interests, focus, and the price they are willing to accept in large part differ.
In the third place, no evidence is provided that the decline in sale is due to lacking games that provide lifelike graphics. The arguer fails to take into account other factors, which may also act as the determinants. Except from the lifelike graphics, the features also include music background, story-line, character design, the price and so on. Even the lifelike graphics is the most important feature, we cannot preclude the possibility that other factors mentioned above are important too, though they may not be equally valued by the players 10 to 25 years old.
Finally, the arguer commits a fallacy of neglecting other factors determining the market, such as competitors, including the potential competitors, the price of the products. Other companies competing with Whirlwind may also introduce the similar products, yet more extensive advertising, with lower price, in order to gain a larger share of marking than Whirlwind. Also, the consumers ranging from 10 to 25 years old are indeed the individuals who are most concerned about price of the products, since they may not be entirely independent economically. No evidence is provided that young people will buy the games in the next few months. Perhaps they can not afford the high price and have to wait for the discount. Without considering all the other factors, we cannot draw the conclusion that through introducing some graphic games would dramatically boom the selling.
In sum, without providing particular materials regarding the people 10 to 25 years old, the particular group interested in the products of Whirlwind rather that those of other companies, and concrete analysis of the reason why the selling declines in the past few years, the conclusion can only be unfounded. Furthermore, the arguer should also provide a report concerning the market, including the relevant competitors and the game players.

xmbjowlUID: 2182375

------题目------
The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
'Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months.'
Before accepting the author’s assertion regarding the forthcoming increased sale of Whirlwind video games due to introduction of newly-developed graphic games. I find that the argument is not sufficientyly supported by the evidence given. The author unduly relies on the implicit assumptions and incomplete comparison, which render his conclusion completely groundless.
这个开头是可以通用的
玩家喜欢lifelike graphic，不等于只要有lifelike graphics就能好卖
To begin with, the author unjustifiably assumes that the the game players’ inclinations to the game features can direct the trends of sales. Unfortunately, this may not be the truth. After all, many factors could determine the sales of video games, such as the price, marketing strategy, or other important game features including the sound effects, background music, character design, and the story line. Yet none of them are mentioned in the argument. Obviously, the author ignores a combination of critical factors deciding a player’s consumption. Merely the feature of vivid graphics itself cannot ensure the positive sales in the market.
差异范围
Besides, there is absolutely, no evidence provided that players 10-25 years old will also prefer video games with lifelike graphics. The crux lies in the argument is that the author fails to supply the age of the subjects in the survey. If most of them are not 10 to 25 years old, the advertisement campaign targeting at the particular group of youngsters is sheerly futile.
销量下降的真正原因？若非图像，改善它又有何用？
Finally, conceding the atractiveness of the new marketing strategy to the players 10 to 25 years old, it is not likely that the video game sales of W will experience a boom in the next few months. Aside from the feasures of a certain game, other possible factors may also lead to the decline in the sales of the video games. Perhaps there have been other fashions of entertainment which would substitute for video games, such as cellphone games, or sports activities. Or perhaps other companies have occupied a large portion of the market, forming a strong competitors of the W company. If it is the case, merely the improvement of the graphics of video games could make little contributions to reversign the dissatisfactory sales in the past.

In sum, the argument presented above is problematic in several facets. To bolster if, the author should provide clear evidence that the improved graphics do indeed attract large amount of players to buy, and the extensive campaign could really allure the younsters, not only their sights, also their money.
修改终结版～

夜一UID: 2130338

The author of the editorial asserts that the sales of Whirlwind video games would be likely to increase dramatically in the next few months because of the introducing of some newly developed graphic games. To support this argument, he cites the result gathered from a recent nationwide survey, and attributes the main factor influencing the sales to lifelike graphics.(回复：我用的是attribute to)你的论点在哪里？

First of all, the survey is statistically unreliable. Are the survey’s respondents representative enough? What about the randomness of the survey? The arguer also does not provide any credible evidence concerning the survey, such as the manner of sampling, the total amount of interviewed person, and the credibility of the responses gathered from the public.个人认为，argument应该按照逻辑漏洞的主次顺序来进行攻击，这一段的这个问题属于比较小的问题，不太适合拿到一开始来first of all，可以在后面一笔带过，也是为了主体部分节省时间

Even the survey is warranted to some extent, we cannot hastily apply the conclusion, which was drawn from the survey, to the targeted people 10 to 25 years old. The latter group is just a part of the former, which may not share the entirely same characteristics with the nationwide game players. Interests, focus, and the prices they are willing to accept in large part differ.

Besides, no evidence is provided that the declination in sales is due to lacking games with lifelike graphics. The arguer fails to take into account other factors, which may also act as the determinants. Except the lifelike graphics, the features also include music background, story-line, character design, and so on. Even the lifelike graphics is the most important feature, we cannot preclude the possibility that other factors mentioned above are important too, though they may not be equally valued by the players 10 to 25 years old.

Additionally, the arguer commits a fallacy of neglecting other major factors determining the sales in the market, such as competitors, either the potential competitors or the powerful adversaries, prices of  similar products available in the market. Other companies competing with Whirlwind may also have introduced the similar products, yet with more extensive advertising campaign and lower price, in order to gain a larger share of marking than Whirlwind. Also, the target persons whose ages range from 10 to 25 years old, are exactly the individuals who are most concerned about prices of products, since they may not be entirely economically independent. Prices may sometimes dominate the ultimate choices of the individuals. Also, no evidence is provided that young people will buy the games in the next few months. Perhaps they can not afford the high price and have to wait for the discount. Or perhaps they have the difficulties with updating of their computers. Without considering such equally fundamental factors, we cannot draw the conclusion that through introducing some graphic games would dramatically boom the selling. 这段的东西比较多比较散，最好能精炼一下，节省时间

In sum, without providing particular materials regarding the people 10 to 25 years old, the consuming group interested in the products of Whirlwind rather than  those of other companies, and concrete analysis of the reasons why the selling declines in the past few years, the conclusion can only be unfounded. Furthermore, the arguer should also provide a report concerning the marketing, including the relevant competitors and the game players.

整篇文章的感觉是比较好的，但是不足在于攻击点比较细碎
argument的主旨在于，用与原文一样的条件，得出与原文相悖的结论，而且要在一开始，完全的驳倒对方
这就要求找出最主要的逻辑错误，也是argumenr考试的目的
比方说那个survey，其实最主要的问题就是，玩家喜欢lifelike graphic，不等于只要有lifelike graphics就能好卖
只要找出了这个问题，第一个逻辑大错误就算解决了
仔细的去抠survey是否作的精确，实际上并没有太大的意义，而且还浪费攻击主要漏洞的时间。试想如果主要问题攻击的不痛不痒的，只说survey做得好不好云云，是表现不出逻辑能力的吧
另外时间问题一定要注意，这篇文章的字数，除非打字超级牛的人，否则像我这样是写不完的：）

exp03UID: 2158827

嗯 很好 交得很早！

xmbjowlUID: 2182375

非常感谢exp03的修改！
第一遍修改
The author of the editorial asserts that the sale of Whirlwind video games would be likely to increase dramatically in the next few months because of the introducing of some newly developed graphic games. To support this argument, he cites the result gathered from a recent nationwide survey, and attributes the main factor influencing the sales to lifelike graphics.(回复：我用的是attribute to)
First of all, the survey is statistically unreliable. Are the survey’s respondents representative enough? What about the randomness of the survey? The arguer also does not provide any credible evidence concerning the survey, such as the manner of sampling, the total amount of interviewed person, and the credibility of the responses gathered from the public.
Even the survey is warranted to some extent, we cannot hastily apply the conclusion, which was drawn from the survey, to the targeted people 10 to 25 years old. The latter group is just a part of the former, which may not share the entirely same characteristics with the nationwide game players. Interests, focus, and the prices they are willing to accept in large part differ.
Besides, no evidence is provided that the declination in sales is due to lacking games with lifelike graphics. The arguer fails to take into account other factors, which may also act as the determinants. Except the lifelike graphics, the features also include music background, story-line, character design, and so on. Even the lifelike graphics is the most important feature, we cannot preclude the possibility that other factors mentioned above are important too, though they may not be equally valued by the players 10 to 25 years old.
Additionally, the arguer commits a fallacy of neglecting other major factors determining the sales in the market, such as competitors, either the potential competitors or the powerful adversaries, prices of  similar products available in the market. Other companies competing with Whirlwind may also have introduced the similar products, yet with more extensive advertising campaign and lower price, in order to gain a larger share of marking than Whirlwind. Also, the target persons whose ages range from 10 to 25 years old, are exactly the individuals who are most concerned about prices of products, since they may not be entirely economic independent. Prices may sometimes dominate the ultimate choices of the individuals. Also, no evidence is provided that young people will buy the games in the next few months. Perhaps they can not afford the high price and have to wait for the discount. Or perhaps they have the difficulties with updating of their computers. Without considering such equally fundamental factors, we cannot draw the conclusion that through introducing some graphic games would dramatically boom the selling.
In sum, without providing particular materials regarding the people 10 to 25 years old, the consuming group interested in the products of Whirlwind rather than  those of other companies, and concrete analysis of the reasons why the selling declines in the past few years, the conclusion can only be unfounded. Furthermore, the arguer should also provide a report concerning the marketing, including the relevant competitors and the game players.

exp03UID: 2158827

The author of the editorial asserts that the sale of Whirlwind video games would increase dramatically in the next few months because of the introducing of some newly developed graphic games. To support the argument, he cites the result gathered from the nationwide survey, and attribute（三人称单数） the main factor influencing the selling to（介词用法不对吧 of） lifelike graphics.
In the first place, the survey is statistically unreliable. Are the survey’s respondents representative enough?(用词不太恰当吧respondent?) What about the randomness of the survey?The arguer also does not provide any credible evidence concerning the survey, such as the manner of the sampling, the total amount of the person interviewed(我觉得是 interviewed person), and the credibility of the responses gathered from the public.
Even the survey is warranted enough, we cannot hastily applied(can 后面用动词原型) the conclusion, （分词短语作状语不需要和前一句用逗号隔开吧）drawn from the survey, to the people 10 to 25 years old. The latter group is just a part of the former, which may not share the entirely same characteristics with the nationwide group. The interests, focus, and the price they are willing to accept in large part are differ.（主句没有谓语）
嗯，10-25的人只是survey的一部分我都忽略了没写到，确实值得攻击一下。In the third place, no evidence is provided that the decline in sale is due to lacking games that provide lifelike graphics. The arguer fails to take into account other factors, which may also act as the determinants. Except from the lifelike graphics, the features also include music background, story-line, character design, the price and so on. Even the lifelike graphics is the most important feature, we cannot preclude the possibility that other factors mentioned above are important too, though they may not be equally valued by the players 10 to 25 years old.
觉得想法和例子都不错。
Finally, the arguer commits a fallacy of neglecting other factors determining the market, such as competitors, including the potential competitors, the price of the products. Other companies competing with Whirlwind may also introduce the similar products, yet more extensive advertising, with lower price, in order to gain a larger share of marking than Whirlwind. Also, the consumers单词错 ranging from 10 to 25 years old are indeed the individuals who are most concerned about price of the products, since they may not be entirely independent economically单词错. 最好加一个连词，感觉有点生硬No evidence is provided that young people will buy the games in the next few months. Perhaps they can not afford the high price and have to wait for the discount. Without considering all the other factors, we cannot draw the conclusion that through introducing some graphic games would dramatically boom用得不错 the selling.

In sum, without providing particular materials regarding the people 10 to 25 years old, the particular group interested in the products of Whirlwind rather that单词错 those of other companies, and concrete analysis of the reason why the selling declines in the past few years, the conclusion can only be unfounded. Furthermore, the arguer should also provide a report concerning the market, including the relevant competitors and the game players.
474字
语法和拼写错有点多，觉得有一定的句式变换和动词变换但不太多。分析问题还不错但有几个可攻击的地方完全没提，如硬件升级困难。跟我一样整篇文章条理还不是很清晰，模版使用也较多。再多看看范文和其他人的作文吧：）

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Argu205
The arguer ignores the possible negative effects of installing high intensity lighting in the central business district in the city of  Belleville.
The assumption that only by reducing crime can B revitalize its declining neighborhoods is unfounded.
The arguer fails to rule out other measures that might help combat crime in A

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Argu180
First, the argument is based on a false analogy.
In addition, the arguer fails to demonstrate that the Easy Read Speed-RＣ can effectively improve a participants’ s reading speed.
Finally, the arguer fails to convince us that all the employees need to take part in the training.

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issue54
Position: While we may make important decisions on our own from time to time, knowing about the past can indeed provide us valuable information in the process of decision-making.
In business, case studies enable business people to confront their everyday dhallenges.
Each period of the history is just a process of development, and the past can provide relevant and useful information to us. (The historical data can act as important materials which the scientists’ researches are based on.) In business, case studies enable business people to confront their everyday dhallenges.
The experiences and mistakes before prevent decedents from being trapped by the same pitfalls
Admittedly, there might be some entirely new problems that we have to cope with on our own without any precedents in history to refer to.

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argu97
1. The nationwide survey cannot be applied to a particular area, which is only a part of the country. 2. The result of the nationwide survey does not indicate that the majority of viewers ingeneral are interested in seeing sports programs on television. Again, the survey neglect the tastes of women, children and the elderly, which are equally important and decisive.
3. The arguer commits a fallacy of false analogy. While the measure may be applied to WACK, the auger cannot get to the conclusion that KICK can include more sports coverage through revising its broadcast schedule.
4. The auger cannot establish a causal relationship between WACK’ s increasing sports broadcasts and the doubled television audience in its viewing area.

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Argu57提纲
1. The preposition that Zorba can indeed help prevent ulcers is unwarranted, since the author did not provide any convincing materials indicating the effect mentioned above.(a doctor’s direction may had played a significant role in prevent the reoccurrence of the ulcers; the patients’ s responses to the survey may not be warranted; we cannot deny the possibility that some patients, who were seriously suffering from the reoccurrence of ulcers after taking the Zorba, did not be willing to response to the survey. )
2. The speaker did not differentiate the essential characteristics of the ulcer patients. (Maybe some of them have a better physical condition inherently. )
3. The arguer has made the hasty conclusion that the Zorba can also prevent the first-time ulcers, indicating the doubtful connection between Zorba and the first –time ulcers.( If the effect that Zorba can prevent reoccurrence of ulcers if based on increased immune system, then we cannot get the conclusion that …)

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issue8提纲
Theoretically speaking, political leaders have the responsibility to share the information with the public. In a democratic society, the government should keep the information overt to the public, since serving for the public in order to gain the interests for members in the society is the primary purpose of the government’ operating. From this point of view, that is, every member in the society has the right to be informed the latest information concerning their interests..
However, in actuality, this public right, owned by every ordinary individual, is often neglected by themselves.
Much too often, political leaders withhold information deliberately, either for maintaining the stability of the society, or for their own interests. (When national interests are at stake, it might be necessary for the political leaders to withhold some key information temporarily; in order to gain the opportunity for effective public leadership, a would-be leader must first gain and maintain political power. In the game of politics, complete forthrightness is a sigh of vulnerability and naivete, neither of which earn a politician respect among his or her opponents. )
Whether political leaders should withhold information form the public depends on whether doing so benefits the public.