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In history, we pay attention to individuals, such as heroes, who, regarded by people, contribute much to the transformation and progress of the society. However, we ignore the possibility that the power of individuals is so little that they cannot achieve such accomplishment without the others’ help and suggestions in the team. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten.
It is the hard work, wisdom and sacrifice of the whole group that establishes the party or reform the system. For example, as we all know, the president of the country has the responsibility to decide the trend of economic development in future, the policy in diplomatism, etc. They will obtain the support of demos if the decisions benefit them a lot. Nevertheless the decisions need to be analyzed and discussed by various specialists. Their experiences and attainments in the fields are of consequence. In fact, some important events are handled by the government officials and experts.(这句话有问题,其实officials and experts are also individuals,真正的groups of people是那些normal people,是他们才是most significant events and trends的主体) For instance, when the nation meets with the economic problems such as inflation, the economists and the bankers argue to regulate the balance of economics. (这段论述有点偏离了,题目说的是in history的伟人和民众的关系问题,举例最好是most significant events and trends)
It is true that the strategy and decisions made by the famous few own a significant function. But without the practice and avocations by groups of people, they are only theories and imaginations. Take the law for instance, a new bill of law need to actualize in the court, which may also encounter with conflict or contradiction.(例子最好具体一点,举一些great to support your viewpoint)Therefore, the new law not only needs to be carried into execution but also amelioration, for which the efforts of groups of people are essential. In addition, when the events happened in some places of nation such as calamity, local government holds the duty to reconstruct and according to the circumstances, though nation will provide some support. (这个例子不好,local government and nation都是groups of people啊,不是individuals)
(这段举的例子不具有说服力啊,例子要具体一点)
Analysis above tells that significant events and trends are possible due to the role of groups of people. Why the study of history places too much emphasis on individuals? The records of events and trends in histories always focus on the leaders rather than the group, thus the public are likely to give one’s attention to leaders and heroes and attribute the achievement to them. In addition, they own a place in the sun;(这句话生动) therefore it is easy to attract others. Finally, in common people’s view, decision in urgent moment is more vital than implement.
There always exists a debate that who create the history, the public or the famous few. As the argument has discussed above, though the famous is the key in a team or country, it is the groups of people who integrate wisdom and power make the decision quite concern in urgent or critical period and transform the decision into practice. Thus we should place equal emphasis on individual and groups.
(结尾很好,总结到位)
总的来说,全文结构很好,语言很流畅,只是例子举的不好,没有significant events and trends,显得没有说服力。
[ 本帖最后由 linshao 于 2007-7-25 16:28 编辑 ] |
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