【Daily Writing作文特训小组】by llllyyyqq 作业贴

llllyyyqqUID: 3216756

6/6作业
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? One of the ways that parents can help children be ready for adult life to ask them to do a part-time job. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Do you agree or disagree?

It is true that in order to make children can better adapt adult life; increasing parents have to ask them to attend the part-time job in today. However, some people still believe that children are too young to touch with adult world, maybe the result is not the picture parent image. From my point of view, I agree that children should attend the part-time job.


There is no doubt that adolescent go to work earlier have several drawbacks. Firstly, adolescent lack of security sense, especially those, who were attending part-time job on the industry factory, are able to get hurt, although the employee make sure that the security problem is not need to worry about. Secondly, health problem is often occurring on the working. For instance, some young kids have to work in terrible working environment, such as basement, which absence air circulation and good hygiene condition, as a result, these kids probably will get sick.


However, some parents assert that children will get benefit from do a part-time job. To begin with, it is generally know that teenager will enrich knowledge and broaden horizon on doing a job, in other word, a better way make the teenager learn correct values ，let them know how to save the money, because earn the money is not a easy job. furthermore, attend the part-time job make teenager aware that working in professional field is to need a lot of professional knowledge, the more money want to make, the more competition will face, therefore, this truth can promote children study hardly in the school for better handle all of this. The most importantly is children could earlier preparation in order to enter and adapt the adult life. They will more confident and more mature to face future challenge by then.


In conclusion, even though some people disagree ask children to do a part-time job, we can see that the advantage is more than disadvantage. Thus, to prepare for adult life is becoming increasingly crucial in current society. Thus, I am fully convinced that it is necessary to ask children to do a part-time job with progress of society.

第2次交作业，以前交过一次，没人批，现在求跟上大部队，并且狠批

llllyyyqqUID: 3216756

6/7作业
Movies and television programs should present stories that good people being awarded and bad people being punished.



it is true that electronic media is unprecedented speed develop in the contemporary world, whether electronic media education，movies and TV should perform correct moral outlook，increasingly attract the people attention in contemporary society. From my point of view, i agree that electronic media should show positive aspect to the audience.

First, a number of people are through the media to learn the new things, those people include not only adult, but children and student. therefore, the media have to play a role model in order to educate juvenile, and help them to build a correct the moral outlook，for instance, some kinds of children movie often present stories that people should be a good person, such as study hard and love to help people, and at the end, this kind of people will get award. By contrast, the people who do bad things for individual interest will finally go to jail

secondly, the media acts as a bridge between the government and the people, the government has responsibilities and obligations to guide the people Obedience moral code and regulatory framework，that is the reason why TV usually broadcast some drama to express that people should cultivate good quality for build a better society together

However, there are also some movies and TV performs negative aspect. it is generally know that the business movie and TV in order to attract more people to watch, such as Hollywood film “Saw”，these type movie generally carry within violate, bloody and sex element. Among the movie people torture people even kill the person, but they do not go into prison, the worst things is what they do actually represent the justice. Yet this is a part of all movies, it cannot stand for all the electronic media. These movies just for make money

In conclusion, we can see that a great deal of movie and TV present stories that good people being awarded and bad people being punished in today. Electronic media is becoming increasingly importance in current society. Hence, I am fully convinced that it is necessary to present a correct moral outlook within electronic media.

秋雨荆州UID: 2903781

1# llllyyyqq

llllyyyqqUID: 3216756

感谢群主帮改，指出我很多问题，希望下次还能帮我改，谢谢

llllyyyqqUID: 3216756

6/9作业
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:People should have hobbies and do physical activities thatare very different from their own work.
It is true that increasingly people are living under the great working stress with the social development. Hence, people have to spend leisure time to have a rest. Thus, there is a controversy that people should relax with hobbies and physical activities in different from their own work attract many people attention. From my point of view, I tend to agree the later.

Firstly, it is generally known that the real relaxation is to forget the work, forget the boss, and set ourselves free. Therefore, no matter interesting or outside sport must not relate with job. For instance, if someone is having fun in online game for relaxation, however, this person is a designer of PC game. then, he is playing in high but suddenly think of the job, because he finds this game that get some bugs, and then begin to think how to solve this problem, in the end, he is not having fun in the game, not relaxation, such this things we believe that we already have experience very much.

Secondly, some people are working on the office such as white collar, which means these people are sitting all day in office without any physical activity. Especially, some computer programmers are required sitting in front of the computer until they achieve project. Under this situation, they are not just spending one day or two day but several days in the office. Consequently, they will get some chronic disease if they continually work like that, such as cervical spondylosis and periarthritis of shoulder, hence, the best way to prevent this chronic disease is to outside physical activity instead of just rest in the home.

Finally, we also know that some hobby, such as fishing, travel and so on. These hobbies not only make people to release the huge pressure from the work but get benefit from that. for example, people can boarder one's horizon during the travelling, experience various the local culture, and  also can get a achievement or satisfaction from fishing。

In conclusion, it is obvious that having hobbies and do physical activities from different their work is the best option; I am fully convicted that have a rest no relate to job is necessary in current society.

llllyyyqqUID: 3216756

6/10号作业
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
In order to make ourselves happy, we should learn how to make others happy first

It is true that happy plays a crucial role in current society. There is a controversy that before to make ourselves happy we should learn how to make others happy. Some people believe that self happy is not business with others, however, some people against that to make other happy is the key for us happy. i will illustrate my perspective as follow

Firstly, what is the meaning for happy? Getting a lot of money, a happiness family and having good friend? Of course all of this can stand for happy. Yet, happy is more than that, such as to help people. A journalist once interviewed a volunteer and asked him why he came to volunteer, he respond that: because i think the best happy thing in the world is to help the people, especially the people smile at me when i help them, i feel happy.

Secondly, happy include various feeling, such as sense of achievement. What is thing make people feel huge achievement? Some individual will say to make other people feel happy. Correct, it is generally known that increasingly rich people donate their money to help the poor people, for instance, Hope Project, which is a project in china in order to help the children who live in the poverty family to study in school. Those rich people assert that when they receive a letter of thanks from children, they feel full of achievement.

Nevertheless, some person also claim that self happy is personal things, there have nothing to do with others. They think that people is able to get happy from many things not relate with others. For example, playing computer game, listening a music and so no. happy is really depend on what you doing by yourself instead of to make others happy first.

In conclusion, there is no absolute answer as to whatever to make others happy first or not; it largely depends on what kinds of people.

llllyyyqqUID: 3216756

6/18
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
It is better to spend money on traveling and vacation than to save money for the future.

It is true that increasingly people earn a lot of money today; a controversy that it is better to spend money on traveling and vacation rather than save money for the future attracts people attention. Some people claims that to spend money for traveling is better way to use money, however, others against that saving money for the future is correct way to use money. I will illustrate my perspective as follow.

Firstly, it is generally known that people can benefit from traveling. For instance, people are able to enrich their experience and knowledge during traveling, and to learn different local culture, such as learn how to survive in the jungle or desert. In addition, people also can broaden their horizon during traveling.


Secondly, traveling can help people release stress. The reason why people earn money is in order to live in better life. Yet, if people work hard for making money but ignoring health, what is making money for? Hence, to spend money on traveling is the way for people has a rest, relax them. Especially, some top managers, who run for the one of biggest company in the world, are face huge pressure in each day. They do not care earn more money, because they already have a lot of money, what they really care is good health.


Admitly, some individuals still believe that saving money for the future is the better way using money instead of spending money on traveling. Economically, saving money is another approach for invest. For example, under the finance crisis, increasingly people prefer saving money in bank for against the economic burden to waste money in unnecessary spending.


In conclusion，there is no absolute answer as to whatever to spend money on traveling or to save money for future; Which is more reasonable, it largely depends on how much money you earn. Therefore, from my point of view, people can either to spend some money in short traveling or to save part of enrnning money for future.

ayasinUID: 2426606

llllyyyqq 发表于 2012-6-18 22:57
6/18
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
It is better to spend money on traveli ...

It is true that increasingly （副词，修饰后面不对）people earn a lot （a great amount, 尽量复杂些吧)of money today; a controversy that it is better to spend money on traveling and vacation rather than save（saving） money for the future attracts people attention.（既然是controversy了，就应该陈述焦点问题，后面却又是结论性意见，所以前后很别扭） Some people claims that to spend money for traveling is a better way to use money, however, others against that saving money for the future is a correct way to use money. I will illustrate my perspective as follows.

Firstly, it is generally known that people can benefit from traveling. For instance, people are able to enrich their experience and knowledge during traveling, and to learn different local culture, such as learning how to survive in the(去掉）jungle or desert. In addition, people also can broaden their horizons during traveling.


Secondly, traveling can help people release stress. (跑了吧，论点是花钱在t和v上面比较好，而不是t的好处，那是后面解释的部分，而不是分论点）The reason why people earn money is in order to（用法有问题） live in better life. Yet, if people work hard for making money but ignoring their health, what is making money for? Hence, to spend money on traveling is the way for people hashaving a rest, relax relaxingthem themselves. Especially, some top managers, who run (running) for the one of biggest company in the world, are face(facing) huge pressure in each day. They do not care about earn(earning) more money, because they already have(own) a lot of money, what they really care about is good health.


Admitly(Admittedly), some individuals still believe that saving money for the future is the better way using money instead of spending money on traveling. Economically, saving money is another approach for invest(investing). For example, under the finance crisis, increasingly people prefer saving money in bank for(这时就可以用in order to了） against（或者去掉for) the economic burden to waste money in unnecessary spending.(这句话还是别扭，可以尝试用would rather,英语国家人更愿意用would rather）


In conclusion，there is no absolute answer as to whatever to spend money on traveling or to save money for future; （不是吧，最后成骑墙派了，toefl总得有自己的观点啊）Which is more reasonable, it largely depends on how much money you earn. Therefore, from my point of view, people can either to spend some money in short traveling or to save part of enrnning money for future.

头次改作文，多包涵，字数不够，观点不够鲜明。共勉。

mikejason2005UID: 3261124

It is true that increasingly people
这是事实，有一些增长的人？？人怎么增长
改成an increasing number of people

The reason why people earn money is in order to live in better life
reason 和 in order to是同样的意思，不要出现在一个句子in order去掉

to spend money on traveling is the way for people has a rest
has a rest 这里应该是伴随状语，前面已经有了主句，所以应该用to have a rest 或者 having rest

who run for the one of biggest company in the world
这个the one 不通顺，可以换成some

are face huge pressure in each day
are后面应该是ing哦~

They do not care earn more money
care后面要有介词哦，care about earing more money或者 care to

increasingly people prefer saving money in bank for against the economic burden to waste money in unnecessary spending
这句也是同样的语法问题，所以上面已经出现了三次了哦~注意！
for sth 或者 doing 动名词形式或者把for 改成 to fight，好吧 后面的也没看懂，表意不明。

there is no absolute answer as to whatever to spend money
whatever用在这表意不明，应该是whether，你想表达，如果我没猜错

people can either to spend some money in short traveling or to save part of enrnning money for future.
either后面的不用to哦，你可以验证，把either拿掉的话，那不是can to了，哪有这样表达的呢~

还需要多练习和积累，来积攒有效的表达，克服语法错误，然后扩充论述的长度，你可以用更加具体的例子和更长的逻辑推演来增加分论点段落长度。

llllyyyqqUID: 3216756

some jobs can pay high salaries but require employees to leave their family and
friends. some jobs pay few salaries but allow employees staying with family and
friend. which job do you prefer? why?

It is true that an increasing of people carefully chose a job in today. A controversy whether people will find a job can pay high salaries but have to away from their family and friend or allow their staying with family friend but lower payment. From my point of view, i prefer work for high salary.

Firstly, a high salary stand for high achievement, high privilege. Everyone does have their own goal, own dream, such as living in big house, own a great deal of money. Hence, as long as people get an opportunity to chase their goal, they would not give up unless fail. However, it is generally known that people almost cannot find an ideal job that get high payment and working place near family or friend, especially under the finance crisis. Thus, there is no doubt that most of people will choose leaving their family and friends in order to pursue their goal.

Secondly, some jobs can pay high salary that this job requiring employee is able to undertake a higher responsibility, which means employee can not have enough time with family and friend even to leave them. For instance, some scientist, such as ocean scientist and geographical scientist, often work far away from their family and friend in other county. They nearly see their family once a month or a year. Because they know that their obligation is huge, not only for high salary, but also for science development.

Nonetheless, some individuals still against that family and money, they rather choose family. A number of people believe that the reason why earning money is to live better with family and friend. Even though they are able to earn a great deal of money, cannot share happy and take care of their family, it is still useless. That can explain why some people choose family instead of money. For example, a top manager, who was working at foreign company in other country with high payment, resigned her directorship and left the firm in order to come back to family and looked after her parent.

To sum up, it is obvious that most of people will chose to work with high salary but to leave their family and friends in nowadays. How to choose between family and money become increasingly significant in current society. I am deeply convinced that choosing high salary is necessary.

songlu87UID: 3226063

竹叶结UID: 3129857

已改完，请楼主验收！

songlu87UID: 3226063

llllyyyqqUID: 3216756

6/22作业
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: it's more important for the
government to build new housing than preserve old and historic building. Use specific
reasons and examples to support your answer.


It is true that house become increasingly importance with the development of science and technology. Whether government should build new housing than preserver old and historic buildings attract people attention. Some people believe that to preserve old and historic building is more important, because people can learn ancient history culture and custom from the old historic building. However, some individuals hold different opinion that old building should be replaced by the new building. From my point of view, i tend to agree latter.


Firstly, it is generally known that new building more convenient than old building in terms of living. Although some old building is able to use electricity or pure water, but compare with new building, it is more advanced than that. For instance, new build can use optical fiber get into the internet, the inhabitant are able to get a great deal of information form internet without go out. It is very significant for acquire instant information in the contemporary world.

Secondly, compare with the old building, the new building will more safety and more durable. There is data show that nearly 1 million of resident get hurt or dead form the old building collapse in last year. Especially more than half of old building due to use beyond the original estimate of useful life, hence, in order to avoid more tragedy of building collapse, government have to build new housing instead of preserve old building.

Indeed, a few of old building are not common old building as well as have historical value. Such this category of building was protected by nation, because these building as a bridge of ancient history culture connect with past. If replace these build by new building, it will lost their historical value. Yet, these building are very few, and have some special people to manage. It will not cause collapse or any possible to endanger people.

To sum up, it is obvious that government to build new housing is more important than preserver old and historic building. Building will play a crucial role in nowadays. I am firmly convicted that old building replace by the new building is necessary

水果的夏天UID: 3022981

改好了，楼主请过目