issue147 修改篇

猫猫624UID: 171232

147. Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them.

I fundamentally agree with the speaker's assertion that tradition and modernization are incompatible, and  many empirical phenomena  aptly illustrate controversies between tradition and modernization in today's world. However, people should not arbitrarily assume that people must make a choice between them, because under some circumstances they are coexistent and interactive between them. Besides, modernization helps people preserve and restore traditional heritages.

It is usually believed that tradition means rigid and static, while modernization concerns reform and fashion, therefore they are denying and rejecting from each other in some instances. For supportive examples, we should look no further than distinct attitudes toward dressings of young kids and their parents. Under the impact of modern mass media, the young show much enthusiasm to fashion. They grow long hair regardless of their sex, part of which are dyed in gold; they wear jeans in every season, usually knees of which are deliberately tattered; boys are fond of earrings and other decorations while girls are keen on smoking and say coarse language. All these preferences of youngsters cannot be accepted by their parents holding traditional thoughts. In this case, controversies between modernization and tradition occur. Besides, in the realm of urban planning, planners often find that some old buildings stand on places which can be better used for current needs for further development of cities. Some people maintain that immediate needs should be given the priority, but others believe historical and architectural values should be approached more importance. In brief, sufficient examples demonstrate that tradition and modernization are definitely incompatible during development and advancement of t human beings.

Despite the controversy between tradition and modernization, it is presumptuous to assert that people have to make a choice between them. In the realm of science, any new discovery is based on traditional knowledge which was accumulated by their forerunners. For example, the heliocentric theory of Copernicus paved the way of Galileo’s falling subject theory. These accomplishments provide the foundation of Newton’s gavial theory upon which the Classic Physics depend. In the realm of arts, though these exist numerous fashionable genres in modern time, some basic and traditional principles remain unaltered. The modern design elements and forms accord with fundamental aesthetic rules---balance, symmetry and harmony. Any up-to-date styles of music, even the rock-and-roll which is entirely different from traditional classical music, are based on traditional seven-note scale. From what have been discussed above, modernization does not abruptly appear and rush into people’s lives, but rather evolve from tradition and accord with certain traditional principles.

Furthermore, modernization assists people in preserving traditional historical heritage. People adopt modern technology to preserve traditional culture and historical heritages, which confront the threat of extinct due to the impact of globalization. Take preservation of historical architecture mentioned above for example, architects and constructors retrofit old buildings or add annexes to accommodate current and immediate needs by ways of modern constructive techniques. Besides, with the development of science and technology, modern techniques help people preserve tradition from natural destruction. For example, the famous Yungang Grottoes in China have been inflicted severe weathering due to climate factors and air pollution. In order to address this problem, scientists develop certain chemical solution that can effectively preserve these grottoes from natural deterioration. Meanwhile, people make detailed records for every grotto using modern methods, which ensure the preservation of historical heritage for the following generations.

In conclusion, though the controversy between modernization and tradition definitely exist and cannot be completely avoided in the process of development and advancement, people should not overlook that they are coexist and interactive under most circumstances. Tradition offer the foundation for the development of modernization, and modern technology help preserve traditional heritages for human beings.

gehaifengUID: 189090

147. Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them.

I fundamentally agree with the speaker's assertion that tradition and modernization are incompatible, and many empirical phenomena aptly illustrate controversies between tradition and modernization in today's world. However, people should not arbitrarily这个词用的好，比hastily好 assume that people must make a choice between them, because under some circumstances they are coexistent and interactive between themeach other. Besides, modernization helps people preserve and restore traditional heritages.

It is usually believed that tradition means rigid and static, while modernization concerns reform and fashion, therefore看过以前一个人的拍砖，说段首最好不要出现therefore， 这里你可以用英语从句写 which in turn seems to deny and reject from each other they are denying and rejecting from each other in some instances. For supportive examples, we should look no further than distinct attitudes toward dressings用dressing, dressings 是敷料剂意思 of young kids and their parents. Under the impact of modern mass media, the young show much enthusiasm to fashion. They grow long hair regardless of their sex, part of which are dyed in gold; they wear jeans in every season, usually knees of which are deliberately tattered; boys are fond of earrings and other decorations while girls are keen on smoking and say coarse language 这里题目中是tradition 和modernization的不和谐， 因此例子的时候，最好能顺带提一下这是当前认为的modern的打扮。 另外，parents的tradition,没有说出来，最好也提一下，比如suit and tie。   . All these preferences of youngsters cannot be accepted by their parents holding traditional thoughts. In this case, controversies between modernization and tradition occur. Besides, in the realm of urban planning, planners often find that some old buildings stand on places which can be better used for current needs for further development of cities. Some people maintain that immediate needs should be given thehigher priority, but others believe historical and architectural values should be approached more importance. In brief, sufficient examples demonstrate that tradition and modernization are definitely incompatible during development and advancement of t human beings.

Despite the controversy between tradition and modernization,这个衔接很smoothly,赞一个，水平提高了，继续保持 it is presumptuous to assert that people have to make a choice between them. In the realm of science, any new discovery is based on traditional knowledge which was accumulated by their forerunners. For example, the heliocentric theory of Copernicus paved the way of Galileo’s falling subject theory. These accomplishments provide the foundation of Newton’s gavial theory upon which the Classic Physics depends. In the realm of arts, though thesethere exist numerous fashionable genres in modern time, some basic and traditional principles remain unaltered. The modern design elements and forms accord with fundamental aesthetic rules 这句用的很好，你在具science的例子的时候，也可以说一下类似的句子的---balance, symmetry and harmony. Any up-to-date styles of music, even the rock-and-roll which is entirely different from traditional classical music, are based on traditional seven-note scale. From what have been discussed above, modernization does not abruptly appear and rush into people’s lives, but rather evolve from tradition and accord with certain traditional principles.
这段的例子具的很好。论点里面的例子要和reason结合起来说，才有深度。这篇文章比前面的文章有进步，在具例子上面

Furthermore,加上承上启下的句子，比如 modernization not only based on tradition to develop and advance, but also….   modernization assists people in preserving traditional historical heritage. People adopt modern technology to preserve traditional culture and historical heritages, which confront the threat of extinct due to the impact of globalization. Take preservation of historical architecture mentioned above for example, architects and constructors retrofit old buildings or add annexes to accommodate current and immediate needs by ways of modern constructive techniques. Besides, with the development of science and technology, modern techniques help people preserve tradition from natural destruction. For example, the famous Yungang Grottoes in China have been inflicted 水土侵蚀eroded呵呵，今天刚刚背的 severeseverely by weathering due to climate factors and air pollution.这句写的有点儿乱 In order to address this problem, scientists develop certain chemical solution that can effectively preserve these grottoes from natural deterioration. Meanwhile, people make detailed records for every grotto using modern methods, which ensure the preservation of historical heritage for the following generations. 是不是写的太多了，都没有时间写段落结尾了？？

In conclusion, though the controversy between modernization and tradition definitely exist and cannot be completely avoided in the process of development and advancement, people should not overlook that they are coexist and interactive under most circumstances. Tradition offers the foundation for the development of modernization, and modern technology help preserve traditional heritages for human beings.
总体说写的不错，提两点建议1 你写了600多字，我觉得足够了，关键是时间能否把握住
2 你的例子举的不是够充分，尤其是body1里的， 说不定改你文章的人就是个很fashion的，乞丐服，耳朵上10个耳钉的，呵呵

nora0020UID: 104886

看这个改过的好了，站

nora0020UID: 104886

147. Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them.

I fundamentally agree with the speaker's assertion that tradition and modernization are incompatible, and many empirical phenomena aptly illustrate controversies between tradition and modernization in today's world. However, people should not arbitrarily assume that people must make a choice between them, because under some circumstances they are coexistent and interactive between them. Besides, modernization helps people preserve and restore traditional heritages. 开头不错，观点很明确

It is usually believed that tradition means rigid and static, while modernization concerns reform and fashion, therefore they are denying and rejecting from each other in some instances. For supportive examples, we should look no further than distinct attitudes toward dressings of young kids and their parents. Under the impact of modern mass media, the young show much enthusiasm to fashion. They grow long hair regardless of their sex, part of which are dyed in gold; they wear jeans in every season, usually knees of which are deliberately tattered; boys are fond of earrings and other decorations while girls are keen on smoking and say coarse language. All these preferences of youngsters cannot be accepted by their parents holding traditional thoughts. In this case, controversies between modernization and tradition occur. Besides, in the realm of urban planning, planners often find that some old buildings stand on places which can be better used for current needs for further development of cities. Some people maintain that immediate needs should be given the priority, but others believe historical and architectural values should be approached more importance. In brief, sufficient examples demonstrate that tradition and modernization are definitely incompatible during development and advancement of t？？？ human beings.

Despite the controversy between tradition and modernization, it is presumptuous 这个词觉得很别扭，能不能换一个unpractical to assert that people have to make a choice between them. In the realm of science, any new discovery is based on traditional knowledge which was accumulated by their forerunners. For example, the heliocentric theory of Copernicus paved the way of Galileo’s falling subject theory. These accomplishments provide the foundation of Newton’s gavial theory upon which the Classic Physics depend. In the realm of arts, though these exist numerous fashionable genres in modern time 语法有问题though these numerous fashionable genres exist in modern time , some basic and traditional principles remain unaltered. The modern design elements and forms accord with fundamental aesthetic rules---balance, symmetry and harmony. Any up-to-date styles of music, even the rock-and-roll which is entirely different from traditional classical music, are based on traditional seven-note scale. From what have been discussed above, modernization does not abruptly appear and rush into people’s lives, but rather evolve from tradition and accord with certain traditional principles. 整体还是比较清晰的

Furthermore, modernization assists people in preserving traditional historical heritage. People adopt modern technology to preserve traditional culture and historical heritages, which confront the threat of extinct due to the impact of globalization. Take preservation of historical architecture mentioned above for example, architects and constructors retrofit old buildings or add annexes to accommodate current and immediate needs by ways of modern constructive techniques. Besides, with the development of science and technology, modern techniques help people preserve tradition from natural destruction. For example, the famous Yungang 这个是什么啊？ Grottoes in China have been inflicted severe weathering due to climate factors and air pollution. In order to address this problem, scientists develop certain chemical solution that can effectively preserve these grottoes from natural deterioration. Meanwhile, people make detailed records for every grotto using modern methods, which ensure the preservation of historical heritage for the following generations.

In conclusion, though the controversy between modernization and tradition definitely exist and cannot be completely avoided in the process of development and advancement, people should not overlook that they are coexist and interactive under most circumstances. Tradition offer the foundation for the development of modernization, and modern technology help preserve traditional heritages for human beings.

整篇都不错，也可以再加一点说理的句子,感觉通篇都是例子，会不会又点多了。
比我写得好，保持这个状态，没问题的

疯子兔八哥UID: 196616

猫~~
你发文章的速度太快了,看不来了啊

猫猫624UID: 171232

最初由 nora0020 发布
[B]147. Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them.

I fundamentally agree with the speaker's assertion that tradition and moder..

以下省略...... [/B]

these exist numerous fashionable genres in modern time 语法有问题though these numerous fashionable genres exist in modern time

these 打错了,应该是there  汗!!!

Yungang grotto云冈石窟

谢谢拍砖..是不是都考完了?