Issue48 这篇感觉很差

晚来风急UID: 2314775

Does the study of history focus on individuals too much to forget the groups of people? I partially disagree with this assertion for the reason that though general people are necessary in most incidents in history, key individual's key role should never be ignored. They can largely decide the consequence and the trend of the world.

Admittedly, groups of people play an important role in the development of human beings. Any innovations would be not available without the favor of general people. Any government would be brought to end eventually if it disobey the willing of the groups of people. Without thousands years of hard working of general people, the Great Wall would never appear in this world, and neither would the other miracles which make the best mythology on the Earth. Without continued fighting of generations for the women right, women nowadays would get the equivalence with men. The strength of few people is weak that they cannot get the successful conclusion, which can be done only by groups.

The greatness of general people is undoubted, while the individual importance should never be disparaged either, as their can change the trend of the world with their strong hand.

Leader is the name of most famous people in history. Napoleon, the leader of country of France, expanded the map of France to a unconcerned way, which make France the strongest country at that time. Imagine a France without Napoleon, maybe rich as well, but never get the bowing of other European countries. On the other hand, the outcome of war is largely determined by the strategies applied by the leader, which can ultimate decide the winner even the military strength differ a lot. Therefore even relying only on a good leader other than general may succeed, generals with an unwise leader will definitely be defeated

Other than leader, key individuals are also the ones who give initial sparks to significant events. The Great Wall, speaking of before, was the fruit growing on the trees of general working, but the initial of the significant event is the monarch by giving the order of construction to prevent the outer enemies. The Taj Mahal, another great event by the Thailand monarch to send his love to his gone wife. Though, these events all finished by groups of people, without the initial, they would never have the chance to earn a place on the history pages.

Except the role of leader and initial one, individuals sometimes weigh more in the incidents, even they are equivalent to the importance of the events, especially in the field of science. Darwin means the evolution he discovered in some way; Copernicus always connect to his claim that the Earth is not the center of the world; Newton equal to the basic theorem of movement. All the fantastic discoveries were found on the basement of their personal effort, and all the scientific events push the history of human beings toward.

To conclude, though concernful the groups are, the contribution of the famous few outweigh that of the groups. Without them we may still live in a way of uncultivated and undemocratic. The history should pay emphasis on them to show their essential role to the world and courage offspring to learn from them.

woshiwmUID: 2337326

Does the study of history focus on individuals too much to forget the groups of people? I partially disagree with this assertion for the reason that though general people are necessary in most incidents in history, key individual's （key ）role should never be ignored. They can largely decide the consequence and the trend of the world.

Admittedly, groups of people play an important role in the development of human beings. Any innovations would be not available without the favor of general people. Any government would be brought to end eventually if it disobey the willing of the groups of people. Without thousands of years of hard working of general people, the Great Wall would never appear in this world, and neither would the other miracles which make the best mythology on the Earth. Without continued fighting of generations for the women right, women nowadays would never get the equivalence with men. The strength of few people is weak that they cannot get the successful conclusion, which can be done only by groups.

The greatness of general people is undoubted, while the individual importance should never be disparaged either, as their can change the trend of the world with their strong willing.

Leader is the name of most famous people in history. Napoleon, the leader （of country of） France, expanded the map of France to a unconcerned way, which make France the strongest country at that time. Imagine a France without Napoleon, maybe rich as well, but never get the bowing of other European countries（个人认为该例不好）. On the other hand, the outcome of war is largely determined by the strategies applied by the leader, which can ultimate decide the winner even the military strength differ a lot. Therefore even relying only on a good leader other than general may succeed, generals with an unwise leader will definitely be defeated

Besides the leader, key individuals are also the ones who give initial sparks to significant events. The Great Wall, mentioned before, was the fruit growing on the trees of general working, but the initial of the significant event is the monarch by giving the order of construction to prevent the outer enemies. The Taj Mahal, another great event by the Thailand monarch to send his love to his gone wife. Though, these events all finished by groups of people, without the initial, they would never have the chance to earn a place on the history pages.

Except the role of leader and initial one, individuals sometimes weigh more in the incidents, even they are equivalent to the importance of the events, especially in the field of science. Darwin means the evolution he discovered in some way; Copernicus always connect to his claim that the Earth is not the center of the world; Newton equals to the basic theorem of movement. All the fantastic(该词不好) discoveries were found on the basement of their personal effort, and all the scientific events push the history of human beings toward.

To conclude, though concernful the groups are, the contribution of the famous few outweigh that of the groups. Without them we may still live in a way of uncultivated and undemocratic. The history should pay emphasis on them to show their essential role to the world and courage offspring to learn from them.
逻辑清晰，但某些举例有瑕疵，语言上有点问题