【TRANSFORMER】_ISSUE130_0802

yesrushUID: 2443769

推荐用AWP软件写，熟悉考场完成。麻烦大家在9点前完成。

130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

shevavaUID: 2574709

ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

Children are the future of a nation, and whether they are cultivated well determines the future destiny of the people. As Mao Zedong once said, "Children are like the rising sun at 7.am or 8.am; the future of the country belongs to them." However, are the children the only factor determining the destiny f society? I don't agree.

Children are the creatures of the society. Since they are born, they are affected by the customs inherited by the society, so that the habits of the society are the habits of theirs, the beliefs their beliefs. In another sense, children not only have the responsibility of handing down the customs of society, but also make contribution to promote the development of society. If they are not socialized well enough, the destiny of society will be on edge of losing its glamour, for the essence of the culture cannot be inherited and the society will lose her foundation of existence.

However, although children play an important part on determining the destiny of society, many other factors, say, economic, technology, and so on, their strength cannot be ignored. If the economic or technology of the nation lags behind, there is no need to say the destiny of society. The basis of the economic determines the upper structure, without the basis, a nation hardly can have the right of decision on the world.

Nowadays, nations place more and more attention on the development of economic and technology. Meanwhile, the cultivation of children also is emphasized. For example, in China, students in primary school are only taught the general curriculums, such as math, science, and so on, and the grade was the only standards to weigh how the student learned. But now, there are practice curriculums and music, drawing added, which greatly improving the skills of practicing and reasoning, and gradually make the children more adapt to the society.

Yet, a lot of problems are barring the development of children, for example, playing too much video game, instilling in the internet. At their young age, maybe some of them cannot control of themselves and this may do great harm to them if they are not reminded. Therefore, the government should pay special attention to these problems, and if necessary, some laws or policies can be legislated. Besides, some parents spoiled their children, and do not let them do manual work and protect their children at all aspects, which may weaken the ability of addressing things independently after they step into the society.

Simply put, children are not the only factor determining the destiny of society, but without children who are well socialized, there will be no future of the society. The government of the nation shoulder the responsibility of building and developing the society nowadays, and more importantly, they also have the obligation to cultivating the children, depending on whom the future are.

yesrushUID: 2443769

楼上的文章我改好了，在附件里。红色是有问题的，蓝色是好词句。

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 594
TIME: 0:47:16
DATE: 2009-8-2

The socialization of education has become a primary part of raising children for a long time. It is obviously that how children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. However, although much effort has been taken to raise children to become a useful person to our society in future, there are some problems in our society which prevent our children from becoming more socialized.

To begin with, the scale of socialization in children plays an important role in our society. Socialization, when it comes to children, means that one can do proper action or say appropriate words according to different environment. In the school, a socialized child can try one's best to learn knowledge, as well as at home, a socialized child will respect the olds and understand one's parents. What's more, on the one hand, in the face of contradiction with others, the socialized children will try to use the way of compromising, redirect, or joking to solve the contradiction peacefully, therefore after several years, these children who enter the society and begin to work will get along well with the colleagues in the company, even solve difficult problems with cooperation with others, which is good to our society. On the other hand, a non-socialized children, will be aggressive and offensive when dealing with the contradiction with others, consequently, if such children is not well educated, it is entirely possible that they will take violent actions to our society after they grow up. In short, hardly out society can be peaceful or order without the socialization of children at an early age.

Since we have accept the importance of children's socialization, we have paid much attention on teaching children with the values about socialization. When children are very young, even in the primary school, moral models have been widely used to transmit the moral value to our children. If we want our children to respect the rights of others, we can tell them the Declaration of Independence. If we want our children to be a honest person, we can tell them the story of Lincoln who walked three miles to return six cents. If we want our children to have the courage when facing difficulties, we can tell them the events of Beethoven, who creates many compositions with deafness. These moral models help children better understand which is good or bad to our society.

However, there are some problems in our society which bring serious harm to children's socialization. The mass media, like Internet or television, provide us the sea of information and technology, but some sex and violent programs on them, poses threat to the healthy growth of children. In addition, some children spend a couple of hours playing computer game. Sitting before the table, clicking the mouse button and watching the computer screen, all of them will do nothing but waste of a whole day which they should be spend to study or stay with friends. The children, who have been influenced by such harmful programs and computer games, are more likely to take criminal activity in future, let alone they can not make contributions to our society. To sum up, if we want to better educate our children to be more socialized, schools, family and society should be involved in raising children issue.

In conclusion, taking the vital importance of socialization of children to our society into consideration, we have tried our best to raise our children. To better reach this aim, not only schools and family, but also society is needed to take part in the process of raising children.

灵感女孩UID: 2224424

楼上好强，47分钟。。。我这个写了一个半小时（还不算构思时间）


As people always say, "the future of our society belongs to the next generation", people have paid much attention to the education and development of children, who will become the major propelling force to the advancement of our society. How children are socialized is indeed crucial to the future of society. However, it is not the only factor, or in other words, it does not determine the destiny of society as the author claims. In terms of whether we are successful in raising children to bring about a better society, the author also hastily denies our achievements in educating the next generation.

We are now living in a rapid-developing era, where the pace of living has increased hundreds of times as before and the pressure people bear is heavier than ever. To catch up with the fast pace, many people have focused on how to improve the intellectual level and skills such as art, scientific creativity, and so on. Nevertheless, many children lacked the ability to cognize the society, communicate and cooperate with people around them, and skills of how to live within the society. For example, many college graduates today are shut down by employers because they do not know how to work or lead in a team, to compromise and to learn from the advantages of others.

However, socialization of children is only one factor among a lot of others that plays a role in determining how an individual is contributory to a better society. Innate values such as probity, persistence, honesty and kindness are also influential to the well being of an individual. Famous scientist Edison, who invented the bulb that illuminated the world finally found the best material for filament after trying for over 1600 times. Philanthropists, such as Bill Gates, founder of the Microsoft, who donated uncountable times to various organizations and foundations, contributed to construct a better society by helping the needy out of their kindness.

The author's next claim that we have not yet found a way to raise children who can help bring about a better society is also ungrounded. It is hard to define what a "better society" is like, because different people may have very divergent ideas. If we consider advancement of technology, improvement of human rights for human beings, our society has actually become better than before. Scientists today have successfully defeated numerous kinds of diseases, such as smallpox; environmentalists have advocated, raised awareness of people to pay more attention to the deteriorating environment; abolitionists, feminists, and exponents for various ethnic and racial groups have helped creating a more equal society.

To conclude, the author overstated the importance of socialization. Admittedly, many children today lack leadership, ability to get along with others, characteristics that our society values. However, socialization cannot determine the destiny of our society. Also, yet there are still many problems in our society that are crucial for us to solve, we have put much effort and gained significant  achievements of educating the next generation to bring about a better society.

改好了~见附件~

sherry_cherishUID: 2613601

你们都很强啦， 我下午开始写，现在刚写完。。。今天的质量比较差。。。哭。。。构思乱七八糟。。。

Primary socialization is the process starting at infancy where a child learns to function in a society or civilization—learning rules, conduct, how to interact with other people, and so forth, by which the destiny of society is sealed. In an effort to build our society a better place, we are endeavoring in seeking the best answer to children’s better socialization, though we still have a long way to go.
Children, as the old Chinese saying goes, are tomorrow's sun of our society. They are the backbone and the potential dominant figure of the future. How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. An apt illustration involves the root of democracy and totalitarianism, which can be found in Ancient Athens and Sparta respectively. In the ancient Greek city-state of Athens, Athenian youth were encouraged to develop artistic and intellectual talents and were taught that all citizens were equal before the law. Bred in this circumstance, they were finally socialized to people awaken of the democratic consciousness and successfully abolished slavery and developed a direct democracy where citizens chose the members of the powerful Assembly. Sparta, on the contrary, where people were ruled by force and power since childhood, children were socialized to be unquestioning obedience, evolved into a totalitarian state. Thus, the social behaviors and culture, the values people learn as children, creates the ideology of theirs, which governs the fate of the society ultimately.
Now having realized the significant function of children’s socialization, we can come to the issue that whether we have learned the knack of rising children, which can be paraphrased as the key to have children socialized. Back to the example of Athens and Sparta, we may easily come to a conclusion that, as far as two thousand years ago, our ancestors had learned how to bring up children as they wished, with education and brainwash by education. Both Athens and Sparta, though they had a completely different view on it, had a great success on socializing the children by education. Take Sparta as an example, its education was formed in such a way in order to create soldiers-citizens. Children in ancient Sparta were taught self-denial, discipline, loyalty in Sparta, simplicity. Boys who lived in Sparta would be taken from home at a very early age 5-6 to be trained to become soldiers. Because of this radical concept Sparta maintained a very strong military status. Ancient Athens, on the other hand, whose purpose of education was to produce citizens trained in the arts, contributed to a myriad of philosophers and artists. The education, as we can see, is a core factor upon which a society socializes its children to learn how they are expected to behave in.
Over these two thousand years, there is no denying that the human are studying for a solution all the time that is both from the past and in nowadays. Along with the human civilization is the development of traditional education, which serves as a way to cultivate people especially the children with what is right and what is wrong. Admittedly, there is something education cannot cover. Children might slide into bad habits in everyday life. A simple example involves the following situation: when a child sees people littering, even if s/he knows there are rules against this—as s/he was taught about that, but people are doing it anyway. Then, they may draw the conclusion that many rules are OK to break.
To sum up, the destiny of our society is largely determined by how the children are socialized, thus it is an unshakable responsibility for us to assure them a right education, which also demands every adult to behavior properly.

blade134UID: 2328542

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
提纲
1 socialized - to trained for social environment, give ablility to survive independent,  thinking independent, amd take charge of their conduct in our home, school and community.
2 At home, children should be allowed to explore new field in life, and encouraged when they perform well or encounter something baracade. For example, Neuton's finding of Gravity is from his thinking to a fallen apple. However, most of students now is ... ,which means we 没有让他们独力思考
3 在社区，孩子们可以多参加义务劳动，知道人们如何在社会上生存，但是我们担心他们受伤
4 在学校，孩子们除了学习必要知识，可以多和其他孩子交往，例如他们可以相互追求，并从中找到如何让自己吸引异性，如何面对竞争这，如何坦然面对成功与失败，whileas 我们害怕他们成绩
5 此外他们可以通过尝试他们想做的事情提高对某方面事情的认知能力。例如CD追求唱歌，最后成了super star. 而有时父母不敢让孩子单方面发展（这里最后换掉了。。）
因此，我们对孩子教育还很不足，what is more，父母要提高自己
正文
Children, from whom our next generation of leader, scientist, and artist come, will become adult and join in society in the end. Though we know their socialization determines our future, in this issue, the author gives an advice that we have not yet raised them correctly, which I strongly agreed. Before stating my own viewpoint, we need to explain the concept of "socialize".

Socialize, by definition, means training for social environment. In my opinion, socialization means children must have ability to survive thinking independently, independently, and take responsibility for their conducts when they were at home, in community and at school.

To begin with, children at home should be provided more time to play outdoors, watch the thing happened surround him and encouraged to think how and why these things happened. Such things can help them realized reason hides over the phenomena, which is an essential ability for them to live after becoming adult. For example, Neutron’s finding of Gravity started from his thinking to a fallen apple. However, in many countries, especially those which has a competitive environment, such as China, Korea and Japan, children are sinking in the sea of homework and have few such experience in their early time, which is ignored by many parents.

Another place for training children is the community. Most children at proper age are capable for the works in community. Children can learn how to survive in society through earning salary by their hard working. Many children who success in their community works turn out to be successful in after they graduate from school. For example, Mick Dell, the founder of Dell -- a global personal computer company, show his incomparable talent when he managed to summon a group of children to sell abandoned newspapers in his community during his childhood. Nevertheless, some of the parents are too feared their children would be hurt in such activities to allow them to take part in such work. Thus their children missed a good chance to know the society again.

Beside their home, children spend most of time at school. Children should not only learn basic knowledge, such as language, math and other course, but also have chance to communicate with each other in the school. Many schools oppose children to hold parties and fall in love with someone else because they thought these things would have a negative influence on their study. In fact, children can learn how to be attractive to the opposite sex, how to compete with other pursuer, and how to face success and failure frankly, which could have significant improvement to their development.

In addition, without being socialized, many genius children could lose their talent even they show it in their early age. These children, such as young Olympic Champions and computer hackers, become normal when they went into society for they are lacking of social experience. Frankly, it is nearly the worst result of the education.

In sum, the knowledge which is learned from teachers is definitely not sufficient enough. Children can develop better from being socialized. Furthermore, even parents themselves can learn many things from helping their children take part in this process.

argue稍后补上

shallwetalk1990UID: 2507431

题目：ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
字数：486          用时：7:00:22          日期：2009-8-3

As we all know, socialization, that requires people a mass of technique to handle various of  difficulties in the society, has been a function of education. We believe that the socialized level of chirlden makes great contribution to our society, but not decides the destiny of society.

The contemporary education develops the increasing students to sieze more social technique, children are more sociallized today than before. Living in modern world looks not simply as past, people in contemporary situation need hold a great deal knowledge to solve complicated problem. Obviously, school education in today tend to educate students comprehensively. For instance, the subjects in school are diverse, students in school hold plenty choices to
elect. Not only university possesses social involement, also fundational education open lots of crouses like that. The opening of this crouses broaden chirlden's horizen and improve their capatible, which makes them naturally enter society. Chirldren can select more courses they need and satisfy the requierment of society, which is dissimilar from past.

Unfortunately, we pay too much attention to social education, but neglect something signficant in education, we should notice the importance of moral education. Students with social technique are popular in this world, however, if they lack moral action and thought, no insitution will employ them any more. Moral problem has been discussed for several years, but we still see no effictive measure took by government. To educate chirldren how can help bring about a better society is our first priorities, instead of talking only. More and more social affairs underline the necessity of moral education. For example, the quantity of suspects in IQ-crime is increasing, also this suspects are highly-educated. They could make lots contribution to society, if they are led in right direction. It is mournful to see that nations cost plentiful financing to develop this students, but they do destroy the society, instead, make contribution to it.

To determine the destiny of society, social education that socialize children is not the only way. Science technology drive the progress of society, Government should attach importance to the development of science. As the primary tool of recasting world, Science technology assists human-being to hold more convenient lifes with the revolution of society.Establishing a better society can not be ture without the help of science technology, so we should focus on the it. Sicience technology is important to our society, however, some persistent social problems need be solved, this problems prevent the progress of society. This probelm are in this fields including human resources, envirnment, food, energy and population, and also crimes, etc, which influence lives of everybody. Without settling of this problem, what can do to construct our society will be nothing.

Overall, socialization of children partly determines the destiny of society, but not all. Social education assists the socialization of children, also its disadvantage should be seen. We can take other measure that accelerate the revolution of society, too.

shevavaUID: 2574709

从这儿开始改了...楼下自理吧...呵呵

shallwetalk1990UID: 2507431

Children, from whom our next generation of leader, scientist, and artist come, will become adult and join in society in the end. Though we know their socialization determines our future, in this issue, the author gives an advice that we have not yet raised them correctly, which I strongly agreed. Before stating my own viewpoint, we need to explain the concept of "socialize".

Socialize, by definition, means training for social environment. In my opinion, socialization means children must have ability to survive thinking independently, independently, and take responsibility for their conducts when they were at home, in community and at school.（赞这个解释 这样就能很好的控制自己的论证范围）

To begin with, children at home should be provided more time to play outdoors, watch the thing happened surround him and encouraged to think how and why these things happened. Such things can help them realized reason hides over the phenomena, which is an essential ability for them to live after becoming adult. For example, Neutron’s finding of Gravity started from his thinking to a fallen apple.（牛顿这个例子 死都不要举了 首先这个是错误的 因为当初牛顿根本没被苹果砸过 砸了也不可能一下子相想万有引力 你这么说估计老外本身也不知道这个故事 会很纠结的 就算知道了 这么多中国人用过 是个多么泛滥的东西啊 我的建议而已） However, in many countries, especially those which has a competitive environment, such as China, Korea and Japan, children are sinking in the sea of homework and have few such experience in their early time, which is ignored by many parents.

Another place for training children is the community. Most children at proper age are capable for the works in community. Children can learn how to survive in society through earning salary by their hard working. Many children who success in their community works turn out to be successful in after they graduate from school. For example, Mick Dell, the founder of Dell -- a global personal computer company, show his incomparable talent when he managed to summon a group of children to sell abandoned newspapers in his community during his childhood. （这个例子就非常好 美国人应该都知道这个人 而且贴近美国人的生活）Nevertheless, some of the parents are too feared their children would be hurt in such activities to allow them to take part in such work. Thus their children missed a good chance to know the society again.

Beside their home, children spend most of time at school. Children should not only learn basic knowledge, such as language, math and other course, but also have chance to communicate with each other in the school. Many schools oppose children to hold parties and fall in love with someone else because they thought these things would have a negative influence on their study. In fact, children can learn how to be attractive to the opposite sex, how to compete with other pursuer, and how to face success and failure frankly, which could have significant improvement to their development.

In addition, without being socialized, many genius children could lose their talent even they show it in their early age. These children, such as young Olympic Champions and computer hackers, become normal when they went into society for they are lacking of social experience. Frankly, it is nearly the worst result of the education.

In sum, the knowledge which is learned from teachers is definitely not sufficient enough. Children can develop better from being socialized. Furthermore, even parents themselves can learn many things from helping their children take part in this process.

能感觉到 文章的的叙述是 定义社会化-独立决定社会话-从社会的各个方面论述如何提高社会化（也相当于在论述过程中提出了 对孩子教育的哪方面的缺失）
但这里你一直没说你的观点 你是同意社会话能否决定未来 还是不能呢？ 第一个问题没有很好的解释 后一个还好

也许是我没有理解你的文章 总的感觉有点乱 没有特别专一的说论题中需要讨论的两个问题


argue稍后补上

6# blade134

sherry_cherishUID: 2613601

As people always say, "the future of our society belongs to the next generation", people have paid much attention to the education and development of children, who will become the major propelling force to the advancement of our society. How children are socialized is indeed crucial to the future of society. However, it is not the only factor, or in other words, it does not determine the destiny of society as the author claims. In terms of（in terms of 后面可以加句子吗）whether we are successful in raising children to bring about a better society,（这个用法我不大确定哦） the author also hastily denies our achievements in educating the next generation.
（恩，开头很清晰，语言也很流畅）

We are now living in a rapid-developing era, where the pace of living has increased hundreds of times as before and the pressure people bear is heavier than ever. To catch up with the fast pace, many people have focused on how to improve the intellectual level and skills such as art, scientific creativity, and so on. Nevertheless, many children lack the ability to cognize the society, communicate and cooperate with people around them, and skills of how to live within the society. For example, many college graduates today are shut down by employers because they do not know how to work or lead in a team, to compromise and to learn from the advantages of others. (我想你这段应该是想写socialization对社会的重要性，举了反例，最后能够明确地提出社会化确实存在其重要性是不是可能会好些呢)

However, socialization of children is only one factor among a lot of others that plays a role in determining how an individual is contributory to a better society. Innate values such as probity, persistence, honesty and kindness are also influential to the well being of an individual. Famous scientist Edison, who invented the bulb that illuminated the world finally found the best material for filament after trying for over 1600 times. Philanthropists, such as Bill Gates, founder of the Microsoft, who donated uncountable times to various organizations and foundations, contributed to construct a better society by helping the needy out of their kindness. （感觉2个例子和论点结合不够紧密哦，还是觉得最后总结下他们的天性的努力造福了社会之类的，可能更好些吧。 还有我觉得例举天性这是个很新颖的点子 ^_^）

The author's next claim that we have not yet found a way to raise children who can help bring about a better society is also ungrounded. It is hard to define what a "better society" is like, because different people may have very divergent ideas. If we consider advancement of technology, improvement of human rights for human beings, our society has actually become better than before. Scientists today have successfully defeated numerous kinds of diseases, such as smallpox; environmentalists have advocated, raised awareness of people to pay more attention to the deteriorating environment; abolitionists, feminists, and exponents for various ethnic and racial groups have helped creating a more equal society. （不同人对better society定位不同~好切入口~！ 不过是不是该整句来看呢。。。没讲到养孩子问题； 排比句式很漂亮！ 我觉得这段很好，就是如果能和整句话联系起来会更好， 不然感觉你的只讲了“better society“而忽视了别的关键词哦）

To conclude, the author overstated the importance of socialization. Admittedly, many children today lack leadership, ability to get along with others, characteristics that our society values. However, socialization cannot determine the destiny of our society. Also, yet there are still many problems in our society that are crucial for us to solve, we have put much effort and gained significant achievements of educating the next generation to bring about a better society.

整篇文章表达很流畅，看得痛快淋漓呵呵，我觉得你的切入口也都很好，就是我感觉你把“children“这个重要关键词忽视了哦，而我觉得这个关键词应该是贯穿了前后半句的——children’s socialization, how to bring up children
不过我也仅代表我的个人想法啦，你再斟酌斟酌~
不过我还觉得是篇很不错的文章，学到了很多呵呵