jianguo摸考组的第一类题：教育类

ar007UID：149835

教育类这么快就上了？？
我是从政治和艺术，历史这些最不拿手的开始冲刺的
占个位子，写完阿狗来翻吧

ar007UID：149835

154. Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators.

Education is so complex and convoluted, such as the character, morality and personality beside the high grade(这个结构不对吧！character, morality and personality beside the high grade这些是教育的方面啊，好象不可以用SUCH AS 来连接吧？), that the educators can not burden all duties and all-sided facets except the high grades. So, if people can recognize the situation is very emergent and important for cultivate the students in all-facets, parents and communities should involve in the local schools together. （论点很清楚！赞！）

When people mention the education, they would recognize that obtaining the high grades in every course. However, the education involves many facets such as the morality, character, temperate, and so on. In these facets, （凑字数？）every facet is very important for students to obtain the successful education（这个意思我能够理解，但是外国人肯定不会！）. The successful education is inculcating students the necessary knowledge and the way how to succeed in their field, they are very vital for people to make success and perfect the personality. For example,（去掉） the （去掉）character is a vital factor for a person（用ONE吧，比PERSON好） to succeed in some fields instead of（这个好象不对，暂时又找不出代替的结构，再想想） only the high grade or the solid knowledge. Many corporations employ their stuff commanding that the interviewers have the perfect character and mortality. We can assume that a person, who has abundant acquirement and perfect grades but he/she is very poor in character and mortality, can make great achievements and fortunes for company.（这句话是不是写反了？） Every year people will （不用将来时）afford the severely loss in computers because of the hackers’ damage, （这里句子没有连接好）hackers do these detrimental things just for show off their adept technology（不是熟练的technology,应该是运用技术的能力吧？呵呵，中文式的英语。） for satisfying their damage appetite, which is just testify（？？） the character is very crucial. So, the education is not the only facet.

Moreover, the teacher or educator can only provide the sufficient beneficial knowledge relating student's（数！！！） textbooks and exams instead of omnipotent learning. With the development of the society and economic, the competition become more and more furious and severe. The students have no choice but to get high grades for attaining more excellent and perfect than others and （TO）possess their own spheres in society. So, students and educators all involve in how to obtain the high grades, they have no time and no energy to impose other facets such as cultivating the perfect character and mortality and other interesting.

So, the parents and other community are indispensable for student's other facets education. In addition, Parents have the energy and obligatory to cultivate students'（父母不要和学生来相对吧！！） character and morality. They should recognize the importance of these facets instead of the only high grades and encourage them to form the（去掉） mature character and health morality and cultivate them other own interesting（什么意思？）. It is well known that people（不要用这个和下面的学生相对！） who has the perfect felling status and great health are more important than the students who are always busy in preparing the endless exams which make （THEM）so nervous and affording heavy burden for obtaining the high grades, The students, who have no good status and condition in every facets become very nervous in everything. However, parents and community always indulge the children and make them only can enjoy the comfortable life and lose the proper attitude for studying. So, the parents and community should control the degree of other education facets.

To sum, the education is so important that the parents and communities should participate the local schools for cultivate more perfect and excellent students on every facets.


楼主的限时之作啊，比我的好多了！我今天的限时失败了，郁闷了一下午。下面要砸砖了！
1 审题有问题。楼主似乎以论证教育的重要性为中心，我觉得不对。问题的核心应该是家长和教育者在教育中是否应该都参与。楼主写了很多教育中的问题比如成绩和道德等等，我觉得应该写在解决这些问题时，家长和专业教育者能够发挥多少作用的问题
2 语言运用上也有很大的中文式英语的倾向，这个短期内没有办法了，偶也一样。一起加油吧。

大家有意见赶紧讨论吧！！