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Argument200 G-89互助社8月17作业 牙医和男女病人痛感问题 [复制链接]

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发表于 2005-8-17 00:22:32 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Argument200  第26篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧!
------摘要------
作者:寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间:30分2秒     420 words
从2005年7月16日9时0分到2005年7月16日9时30分
------题目------
Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients.
------正文------
The speaker concludes that dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients. To substantiate this conclusion, the arguer cites statistics collected from dentists and make several assumptions. However, this argument suffers from several flaws, which rendering it unconvincing as it stands.

To begin with, the argument rests on statistics collected from dentists. Yet, these statistics are too vague to be informative.  The arguer fails to point out how does these study comes from. It is possible the statistics are collected from several dentists in the big hospital, which can not represent all the patients with teeth disease. Consequently, without ruling out this possibility, this argument is unwarranted.

Furthermore, even if these statistics are reflect the reality, it does not follow that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. This argument is unacceptable unless there is compelling evidence to support the connection between the two events. The arguer does not provide evidence about the total number of men patients and women patients. It entirely possible that the total number of men patients are, if not more, five times as women, hereby the women patients are more likely to be distressed. In short, all the above-mentioned possibilities, if true, all serve to render the argument unconvincing.

Last but not least, the argument commit a fallacy of hasty generalization. Even though men patients are more likely to distressed, it does not follow that the dentist should target the male consumer, while ignoring the female consumer. The arguer fails to consider the portion of female consumer. It is likely that there is a large number of women patients. Or perhaps female consumer are more likely to pay more money for cure teeth disease. Besides, the arguer assumes that emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients result in more male patients. yet this is not necessarily the case. Perhaps male patients do not like go to dentist whatever way the dentist takes of. If so, then the argument might amount to poor evidence.

To sum up, the argument is not well-supported. To strengthen it, the arguer should provide more evidence regarding the detail of how does the statistics from along with the link between the statistics and distressed of men patients. To better evaluate the argument, we need more information concerning the female patient.
8.26北京鼎均,10.22天大,大家一起加油哦
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沙发
发表于 2005-8-17 23:14:46 |只看该作者
占座。。终于等到你的大作了。。。
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板凳
发表于 2005-8-17 23:31:18 |只看该作者
The speaker concludes that dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients. To substantiate this conclusion, the arguer cites statistics collected from dentists and make several assumptions. However, this argument suffers from several flaws, which rendering it unconvincing as it stands.

To begin with, the argument rests on statistics collected from dentists. Yet, these statistics are too vague to be informative.  The arguer fails to point out how does these this study comes from. It is possible the statistics are collected from several 再把少明确一点,only several dentists in the big hospital, which can not represent all the patients with teeth disease. Consequently, without ruling out this possibility, this argument is unwarranted.

Furthermore, even if these statistics are reflect the reality, it does not follow that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. This argument is unacceptable unless there is compelling evidence to support the connection between the two events. The arguer does not provide evidence about the total number of men patients and women patients. It entirely possible that the total number of men patients are, if not more, five times as women, hereby the women patients are more likely to be distressed. In short, all the above-mentioned possibilities, if true, all serve to render the argument unconvincing. 不够深入,再说说women的害怕表现在其他地方。感觉这段有点魔板堆砌阿。

Last but not least, the argument commit a fallacy of hasty generalization. Even though men patients are more likely to distressed, it does not follow that the dentist should target the male consumer, while ignoring the female consumer. The arguer fails to consider the portion of female consumer. It is likely that there is a large number of women patients. Or perhaps female consumer are more likely to pay more money for cure teeth disease.文中好像只说吸引病人,并没有说赚更多的钱吧,不要自己想当然哦;) Besides, the arguer assumes that emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients result in more male patients. yet this is not necessarily the case. Perhaps male patients do not like go to dentist whatever way the dentist takes of. If so, then the argument might amount to poor evidence.

To sum up, the argument is not well-supported. To strengthen it, the arguer should provide more evidence regarding the detail of how does the statistics from along with the link between the statistics and distressed of men patients. To better evaluate the argument, we need more information concerning the female patient.

总体来说,限时写成这样还是不错滴:p
当时要注意了,我觉得你的驳斥点找准了,但是驳得不好啊。多考虑考虑更多的可能原因。当然,我是按照至少5分得表准来评判的哈。
语言上没什么问题。
加油!!!:victory:
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地板
发表于 2005-8-17 23:33:14 |只看该作者
我之前好像写过一篇同主题的,你有空可以看看,语言不行,但驳得还将就哈。
互批~~~
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RE: Argument200 G-89互助社8月17作业 牙医和男女病人痛感问题 [修改]
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Argument200 G-89互助社8月17作业 牙医和男女病人痛感问题
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