ISSUE51 请大家尽情拍！~~有拍必回！~谢谢！~

BerlinbearUID: 207694

51"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.”
Outline:
1、因材施教的确是教育的重要准则之一。
2、但教育的基本功能是使学生认识社会，帮助他们建立正确的价值体系。
3、限于尚未成熟的认知能力，许多人并不清楚的指导自己的兴趣究竟是什么。

Education, the purpose of which refers to help students establish entire personalities and make them think and analyze critically, should provide an effective and efficient system to meet the requirements of individual student who pursue personal interests to some extent. However, regardless of the basic functions and contents of education, specifically designed education may lose its original meaning definitely. So it is more justifiable for education to make various designations catering to different individual needs while keep the generalization.

Admitted, making special education that depends on distinct individuals is one of the most effective principles of education undoubtedly. So it is reasonable to construct a judgment standard of education based on whether education fits individual needs and enhances interests of students. To achieve this goal, schools should offer some specifically designed programs for students to choose rooted in their own needs. Clearly, one of the most important functions of education at any level is to develop the personality of the individual and the essence of one's life to oneself and others. This is the basic architecture of a life; the rest is ornamentation and decoration of the structure. An apt illustration of the point involves that almost all the universities provide flexible education systems for different students to arrange their own study tables. For instance, a chemistry student can also attend the philosophic course quietly in accordance with his or her interests. In such situation, the current education is useful enough to give students a free atmosphere to develop their interests.

Conceding the significant benefits of specifically designed education, I nevertheless disagree that meeting the individual needs and interests of each student is the only way to gain the truly effect of education. Throughout the nation and history, it emphasizes public education as a means of transmitting democratic values, creating equality of opportunity and preparing new generations of citizens in society. Honesty, fairness, self-discipline, love of country, and belief in the principle of liberty are values what the nation wants all students to know and to make their own. Imagine if some children are only interested in playing computer game with little knowledge of science and humanities; it is hard for specially designed education to shape complete personalities of them. Eventually, there is no denying that these students are lack of necessary information aside from games. Thus, when it comes to improving the basic morals and faculties of students, it is more effective by the contemporary formal education rather than special education designed just for individual interests. Simply put, without the education in groups, it seems that some children would not learn how to be tolerant, how to cooperate, and how to be a leader in the society.

What is more, it is clear that the over-specified education would be dangerous to narrow down students' ken and capability of acclimation to the future career. It is quiet prevalent that numerous students do not realize what they need exactly in virtue of immature cognitive abilities. And with the growth of individuals, our interests and needs also alter all the time. When I was a six-year-old little girl, what I like most was playing piano so that my parents bought one for me as a birthday present. But nowadays I find that playing piano is more boring than entertaining. Consequently, just designing educational contents for temporary personal interests may do some waste of precious education resource. In addition, the increase of interaction between different academic areas has been forcing people to master richer and broader knowledge. For instance, if an economist is poor at mathematics, how can he do research in some economic statistic cases? When the government plans to build a dam, the designers will inextricably collect the relevance information from hydrologists, ecologist, archaeologists, etc. Without the general courses learning but only professional education, it will be difficult to heighten the comprehensive abilities of the students. All in all, in some sense, the public education is more effective rather than the over-specified education.

In the final analysis, certainly, to extract individual’s potential ability, specially designed education will be given preference. However, on balance, standing on the point which contributes to construction of the societal moral standards, it is nearly indisputable that general education plays a more chief and effective role.

happy_shirleyUID: 2155516

字数挺多的！还没有来得及细看，晚上帮你拍！

sallyxinduUID: 2131253

51"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.”
Outline:
1、因材施教的确是教育的重要准则之一。
2、但教育的基本功能是使学生认识社会，帮助他们建立正确的价值体系。
3、限于尚未成熟的认知能力，许多人并不清楚的指导自己的兴趣究竟是什么。
提纲不错，很清晰，转折得也很好，但第三点注意下这种限于尚未成熟的认识能力最好不要覆盖所有教育，因为如果是成年人，有了很多阅历的人他们的认识能力可以说是足够的（但仍然需要教育啊）

Education, the purpose of which refers to helping students establish entire integrated  personalities and making 注意refer to 的to 是介词them think and analyze critically, should provide an effective and efficient去掉任何一个吧，有点重复 system to meet the requirements of individual student who pursue单复数同行，注意 personal interests to some extent. However, regardless of the basic functions and contents of education, specifically designed education may lose its original meaning definitely. So it is more后面没有比较的，不要用more吧 justifiable for education to make various designations catering to different individual needs while keeping the generalization.
不错的开头，为下面的内容已经作了个简单但明了的概括，

Admittedly, making special education that depends on distinct individuals educating in accordance with individuals' distinct characters.is one of the most effective principles of education undoubtedly. So it is reasonable to construct a judgment standard of education based on the primise 后面whether引导的只是一个从句，这里需要一个限定词whether education fits individual needs and enhances interests of students. To achieve this goal, schools should offer some specifically designed programs for students to choose rooted in their own needs. Clearly, one of the most important functions of education at any level is to develop the personality of the individual and the essence of one's life to oneself and others.什么意思？ This is the basic architecture of a life; the rest is ornamentation and decoration of the structure. An apt illustration of the point involves that almost all the universities provide flexible education systems for different students to arrange their own study tables. For instance, a chemistry student can also attend the philosophic course quietly in accordance with his or her interests. In such situation, the current education is useful enough to give students a free atmosphere to develop their interests.
结尾句很好，

Conceding the significant benefits of specifically designed education, I nevertheless disagree that meeting the individual needs and interests of each student is the only way to gain the truly effect of education. 非常棒的一个句子，转折词用得很到位，又有概括性，赞！！Throughout the nation and history, it emphasizes public education as a means of transmitting democratic values, creating equality of opportunity and preparing new generations of citizens in for society. Honesty, fairness, self-discipline, love of country, and belief in the principle of liberty are values what the nation wants all students to know and to make their own. Imagine if some children are only interested in playing computer game with little knowledge of science and humanities; it is hard for specially designed education to shape complete personalities of them. Eventually, there is no denying that these students are lack of necessary information aside from games. Thus, when it comes to improving the basic morals and faculties of students, it is more effective byadopting the contemporary formal education rather than special education designed just for individual interests. Simply put, without the education in groups, it seems that some children would not learn how to be tolerant, how to cooperate, and how to be a leader in the society.
这段论述得很好，分析到位，有说服力．词语选择能看出作者的功底，

What is more, it is clear that the over-specified education would be dangerous to narrow down students' ken and capability of acclimation to the future career. It is quiet prevalent that numerous students do not realize what they need exactly in virtue of immature cognitive abilities. And with the growth of individuals, our interests and needs also alter all the timeconcomitantly . When I was a six-year-old little girl, what I like most was playing piano so that my parents bought one for me as a birthday present. But nowadays I find that playing piano is more boring than entertaining. Consequently, just designing educational contents for temporary personal interests may do some waste of precious education resource. waste some of precious resource.In addition, the increase high frequency of interaction between different academic areas has been forcing people to master richer and broader knowledge. For instance, if an economist is poor at mathematics, how can he do research in some economic statistic cases? When the government plans to build a dam, the designers will inextricably collect the relevance information from hydrologists, ecologist, archaeologists, etc. Without the general courses learning learned but only professional education, it will be difficult to heighten the comprehensive abilities of the students. All in all, in some sense觉得这个可以不要, the public education is more effective rather than the over-specified education.

In the final analysis, certainly, to extractstimulate individual’s potential ability, specially designed education will be given preference. However, on balance, standing on the point which contributes to construction of the societal moral standards at large, it is nearly indisputable that general education plays a more chief and effective role.
非常好的结尾阐述
个人觉得这篇文章最成功的地方就是逻辑阐述，段于段的连接很好，作者采用了平衡观点，但是论述面面局到，过度很自然．

48778UID: 209221

文章写的不错,许多用词和句式很好,值得学习.

由于我最近几天比较忙,没来得及修改,上来一看sally修改了,十分感谢.我也提不出什么意见. 就是和sally说的最后一段的问题,

最后我上次的argument写的实在太烂就没贴.谢谢你的修改

BerlinbearUID: 207694

谢谢sally~~
这篇我认真改过，从结构和语言个方面，我觉得修改文章对于思考的帮助挺大的~
如果有时间的话应该坚持做！~~