Issue159___9号考试，拜托审阅一下Issue|新人，今后也会努力的

windLeeUID: 2691719

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第一段，质疑机器是否有超越人类的可能性，得到答案：单纯的工具是不行的，但是，向着超越人类的目标去设计的机器则有可能，因为它们不只是工具而已。

第二段：讲述纯粹的工具与人工智能的区别，例子是，工具如汽车，计算器等仅仅是对人类力量和智慧的加强而已；而独立思考的机器如IBM的下棋机则是另外一回事。然后说出为什么人们有一种人工智能都很弱智的错误印象及其原因。

第三段：讲述人工智能的新研究方向，以及基于这样的基础，带来的它们自我学习和思考，以及超越人类的可能性，此外，已经在某些方面超越了人类的事实。

第四段：补充说明现在对于机器研发的一种良好思路，给我们的工具配备一些独立思考的能力，使得它们不单单只是dumb tools（哑巴工具），而更能够借助自己的判断力来辅助人类， 从而，智能机器和人类的组合成为既超越人类，又超越工具的存在。

最后一段：总结，并不是所有的机器都只是工具，工具是没有智能的人类延伸，而专门设计的智能机器，总有一天会超越人类。
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"The human mind will always be superior to machines because machines are only tools of human minds."

   Once I asked my mentor a question, that is, is it possible for a man to create a machine which is cleverer than him? And I presented my hypothesis according to my sensation that none could build such a machine. However, after the invention of the famous IBM chess robot "deep blue" and its near triumph over the worlds' best human chess player, the answer to the question seems shifted a bit, as there is no way those programmers for "deep blue" could compare to the best chess player in playing chess. As a result, even though the "deep blue" lost, it is quite possible for its chess skill to exceed its inventor's. Thus, if the machines are only designed as dumb tools maybe they will not be superior to human minds, but if they are created under certain rules and they can learn by themselves for how to use those rules, their fast calculating ability might give them the chance to take advantage over humans.
     The identification of machines has changed through ages, from tools to independent intelligent systems. In the first few decades of their invention, it seems they are merely mindless tools which are used to enhance human strength, mostly to augment the physical power, or to increase the calculating speed. An apposite icon is the car which could take people around fast while carry many weights, another instance is a scientific calculator which could do many mathematic jobs in a flash. No matter what functions they have, they are auxiliary tools which are mindless, not having the chance to be compared to human minds. Nevertheless, there are machines designed to "think" in some logic ways. They are called the artificial intelligence. The "deep blue" is a significant example as it's not a chess tool, it plays chess by itself but not under human manipulation or guidance. In this aspect, these machines are more like individuals other than apparatus for humans. Indeed, there is a misunderstanding about the artificial intelligence. As there are certain limitations in computer science and the studies of human brain, artificial intelligence is quite fettered by these low technology, thus most artificial intelligences only equal to a "3 years-old child", and the media reports make the public believe it is extremely hard to make this "baby" grow even for 1 age.
    In fact, as the computer technology has developed greatly in recent years, there are brand new directions to develop the artificial intelligence. The "deep blue" is a sign of the AI to be possibly superior to human minds in specific fields. And new researches began to focus and pursue multicore system, turned out to a brilliant way of expanding computing capabilies and functions, rather than the single but fast calculating unite. This theory has been brought into the design of AI, where scientists use groups of simple-functioned self-learning mini robots to communicate and form an intelligent community(e.g. the nerve network), while the industries of micro integrated circuit and system on chip ensured an increasingly rapid center unit of these robots. Thus, if the autonomy is granted by these mini communities, they gain the ability to learn and evolve, which guarantees them the possibility to be more intelligent than single human minds.
    While the development of independent AI systems goes on, the best way to create a smart and powerful combination at this era is to make the tools for human minds cleverer and easier to use. For example, the driving system of a car is always a highly-marked research project which requires both intelligence and experience on steering and situation analysis. Humans make a lot mistakes which cause accidents in driving, proving themselves incapable of complete safe drive. Thus the machines are required to help make quick judgment when emergency happens as they are competent for fast calculating. Research on this project has bloomed and achieved many products. They can help people drive more stable on slipping grounds, snow-covered roads and narrow corners, even a rookie could drive much safer now. Are they able to drive alone and become not only steering tools? Definitely, the answer is absolute. Not need to mention they already drive better than us in the games, there also exists a system called auto-navigation in reality now, which ensures the blind people to drive a car! This machine could not be called a tool anymore, as it totally acts independently.
     In conclusion, our civilization has never ended our development on artificial intelligence, and these "machines" are becoming gradually solo players with its own "thoughts", but not a tool under the control of human minds. A tool can never be smart and more advanced than its user but a machine designed to have intelligence might be able to do that in the future.
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这一篇是用笔记本敲的，确实比台式键盘快多了。不过我比较罗嗦.. 感觉有很多废话.. 自己语法也不太擅长，计时作文的话有效词汇也变得空白.

总之，拜托大家帮忙看一看，我知道有付出才能得到帮助， 不过考试在即不免有些急切。 今后也会努力但愿能给大家帮上忙。

漢字UID: 2544340

very fluent english. just a bit wordy

windLeeUID: 2691719

谢谢楼上的。 似乎这里不加入小组，就得不到什么建议？。 还是说我写的太烂了大家觉得我没法给与什么有意义的东西？..  算了算了~  马上就考试了。 大家都ganbatee.

无敌小番茄UID: 2684290

太长了 看不动
而且句式也很复杂，不是我等一般水平的能改的
如果真的想得到点意见 建议写上中文提纲

windLeeUID: 2691719

谢谢你的意见。 还有你太谦虚了。 其实修改作文和自我写作不一样，修改作文的话更悠闲也更容易些，毕竟审阅他人的能力是人类的天性。

gottliebUID: 2459111

794个字很牛！

windLeeUID: 2691719

回楼上， 修改前只有710多个字。 考场写这么多确实不现实，只能看看而已。

我主要是没精力去删减它了。。 作为一篇文章，也不想去动它，能力有限... 哎.

gottliebUID: 2459111

Once I asked my mentor a question, that is, is it possible for a man to create a machine which is cleverer than him? And I presented my hypothesis according to my sensation that none could build such a machine. However, after the invention of the famous IBM chess robot "deep blue" and its near triumph over the worlds' best human chess player, the answer to the question seems shifted a bit, as there is no way those programmers for "deep blue" could compare to the best chess player in playing chess. As a result, even though the "deep blue" lost, it is quite possible for its chess skill to exceed its inventor's.（例子收下了，感觉这个例子正着说和反着说都可以。我可以补充一点的是，围棋方面计算机远不如人） Thus, if the machines are only designed as dumb tools maybe they will not be superior to human minds, but if they are created under certain rules and they can learn by themselves for how to use those rules, their fast calculating ability might give them the chance to take advantage over humans.（一半一半的开头，不过比较特别，里面有个例子也有亲身生活经历，写的挺委婉的，不过我想说的是，最后应该直接写出TS）
     The identification of machines has changed through ages, from tools to independent intelligent systems. In the first few decades of their invention, it seems they are merely mindless tools which are used to enhance human strength, mostly to augment the physical power, or to increase the calculating speed. An opposite icon is the car which could take people around fast while carry many weights, another instance is a scientific calculator which could do many mathematic jobs in a flash（照单全收）. No matter what functions they have, they are auxiliary tools which are mindless, not having the chance to be compared to human minds. Nevertheless, there are machines designed to "think" in some logic ways. They are called the artificial intelligence. The "deep blue" is a significant example as it's not a chess tool, it plays chess by itself but not under human manipulation or guidance. In this aspect, these machines are more like individuals other than apparatus for humans. Indeed, there is a misunderstanding about the artificial intelligence. As there are certain limitations in computer science and the studies of human brain（这是个交叉学科，他们搞人工智能的要学什么神经之类的科目）, artificial intelligence is quite fettered by these low technology, thus most artificial intelligences only equal to a "3 years-old child", and the media reports make the public believe it is extremely hard to make this "baby" grow even for 1 age. （你是想说机器的分类吗？说的有点繁琐）
    In fact, as the computer technology has developed greatly in recent years, there are brand new directions to develop the artificial intelligence. The "deep blue" is a sign of the AI to be possibly superior to human minds in specific fields. And new researches began to focus and pursue multicourse system, turned out to a brilliant way of expanding computing capacities and functions, rather than the single but fast calculating unite. This theory has been brought into the design of AI, where scientists use groups of simple-functioned self-learning mini robots to communicate and form an intelligent community (e.g. the nerve network), while the industries of micro integrated circuit and system on chip ensured an increasingly rapid center unit of these robots. Thus, if the autonomy is granted by these mini communities, they gain the ability to learn and evolve, which guarantees them the possibility to be more intelligent than single human minds.（很有科普的味道，估计是撞上楼主的专业了吧？个人感觉这段有点累赘，为TS服务的不是那么的直接）
    While the development of independent AI systems goes on, the best way to create a smart and powerful combination at this era is to make the tools for human minds cleverer and easier to use. For example, the driving system of a car is always a highly-marked research project which requires both intelligence and experience on steering and situation analysis. （例子收下）Humans make a lot mistakes which cause accidents in driving, proving themselves incapable of complete safe drive. Thus the machines are required to help make quick judgment when emergency happens as they are competent for fast calculating. Research on this project has bloomed and achieved many products. They can help people drive more stable on slipping grounds, snow-covered roads and narrow corners, even a rookie could drive much safer now. Are they able to drive alone and become not only steering tools? Definitely, the answer is absolute. Not need to mention they already drive better than us in the games, there also exists a system called auto-navigation in reality now, which ensures the blind people to drive a car! This machine could not be called a tool anymore, as it totally acts independently.（感觉与上段相同）
     In conclusion, our civilization has never ended our development on artificial intelligence, and these "machines" are becoming gradually solo players with its own "thoughts", but not a tool under the control of human minds. A tool can never be smart and more advanced than its user but a machine designed to have intelligence might be able to do that in the future.
总的感觉楼主洋洋洒洒，问题没有说道重点上，没有说明到底能不能超过去，说了这么多新的发展的东西，与人类的智慧没有比较呀？文章的重点在哪里？是科普还是论证人类发明的机器和人类自己的智商的关系？例子很充足不用多说，这道题目一定是撞到了楼主的专业了！楼主的例子过后为什么没有总结？总结一下，是人牛还是机器牛？只有两段科普段落加总结就能成好文
其次个人认为，这个issues的问题在于，对于能力和知识是不是能等同于智慧。中国人有这么一句话 多知近乎智 机器可以有技能，有知识，那就一定等于有智慧吗？知识和技能能转变成智慧吗？我个人认为这个issues的症结在这里  我都是随便说的，请别放在心上！

lichaomichaelUID: 2652235

真正到了考场，根本写不了这么多，主要一定要把提纲背下来，这个很重要，到时候发挥就行了！

windLeeUID: 2691719

－－－－－－－－－－－－－－

谢谢你看那么仔细！　我来回执一下，

题目不是指智能，而是单单说优越于．　所以不要太纠结于智能．　

因此，我的文章是在谈，不靠人类的帮助，自己在某些方面能比人类做的更好．

此外，这个不是我的专业哟．　:)

还有，最重要的，　到底能不能超过去从头到尾都在说，那就是　能．　特别是那句　Definitely, the answer is absolute

但是呢，为什么你会觉得没有说清楚的原因，文中也阐述了，过去的工具机器是无法独立完成工作的，更别说超越了．　现在的科技讲求机器具备一定独立性　（independency也是本文的主题之一，　中间段包括提到autonomy也是这个词的同义替换），在这种基础上，它们被赋予了超越的可能性

不过由于受限于技术，因此人们一直感觉机器是很弱智的，因此，下一段就接着阐述新的理念带来了更多更多的可能性，并且，事实上，已经让人看到了曙光这样的感觉．  因为到现在为止，都是可能性更多（题干是说，不可能．所以这是一种反驳．），而不是已经切实超越，因此你会觉得文章模棱两可？

整文很保守地说明了机器的发展，以及如何成为了超越人类思想的工具的存在（这是题干重点：only tools for human minds）　　　所以，最后一段提到具备独立思考能力的人类辅助设备，也就是现在炒作比较厉害的smart machines，成为突破的关键．

恩，还有，并没有和人类的智慧相比的必要，如前面所述，题干非常宽泛，仅仅是superior就行，哪一方面都可以讨论的．　

不过，你的意见是非常中肯的，我想原因在于限时作文，逻辑无法梳理得让人觉得很清爽，例子也草率选取了，　诟病很多．　呵呵～～　考试时候不要抽到这一篇啦～～．


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Thus, if the autonomy is granted by these mini communities, they gain the ability to learn and evolve, which guarantees them the possibility to be more intelligent than single human minds.（很有科普的味道，估计是撞上楼主的专业了吧？个人感觉这段有点累赘，为TS服务的不是那么的直接）

就是你括号前面这句，　才是那一段的中心．　中心句放置最后，应该可以哇

无敌小番茄UID: 2684290

吐血意见
1.没有开头，你的主题是让别人归纳。不可行，一定要有开头
2.简单的工具是不能超过人类的
3.楼主的第二段
4.楼主的第三段
结尾很好，楼主大可以把结尾换个说法写成开头。

语言上我没有啥说的，看的我快吐血了
超级大赞文笔
:hug:
加油 你这文笔不考5+ 不要说你认识我

windLeeUID: 2691719

我好大的压力，楼上的番茄．　这里的强强们太多了，　都潜潜地不出现．　后生这个文笔真的什么都不算．

不过谢谢你的鼓励和意见。

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开头段，参考了两篇官方的例文。　第一篇：“The best ideas arise from a passionate interest in commonplace things"  就是那个写哲学和存在主义者，苏格拉底和Satre的。
第二篇："in our time, specialists of all kinds are highly over-rated. We need more generalists people who can provide broad perspectives"

相对来说受第一篇影响较大  因为我是不喜欢模板的人，所以看到他的写作风格我就非常喜欢。他的第一段大约２００多词，非常舒服，　看得我真是火大..---太抽象了