求拍作文，有拍必回，多多益善

roughmanUID: 2685617

题目：ISSUE20 - "National governments should devote more of their social programs and services to children than to adults."

In the statement, the speaker asserts that national programs and services are more necessary to be presented during children's education than adults. In the reinforcement of children's better education, I agree with the assertion to the extent that social programs and the relevance are important to children's mature and further development. Nevertheless, I still suspect that the lasting effect of such program on children and other problems of such programs on children when they grow up. I also further support the necessity for adults to grant to receive this kind of programs.

I agree with the assertion insofar that some basic programs are positive to be integrated into children's curriculum. Most of these necessary issues are one active section of children's maturing process. Some issues, including patriotism, national shared tradition and ethics, are indispensable for one child's mental health and their formation of core value. Also student's overall mature involves physical healthy from physical education program, scientific and logic sense from basic scientific programs. All these programs equip children's strong competence for further academic or professional development. Even some life-needed knowledge cannot be removed its own merit in the national programs.

Also turning next to services granted from government to children both in community and schools. Indeed, no official can deny the essence of school's emergency, psychology counseling and value construction service to students from an early age. Neither will any single educator remove such service in community where children are authorized a better access to solve their problems outside schools and home.

Many educators, government officials, common people who has experienced such growing up process, including me, will agree the indispensability of national basic service, including the example mentioned above, because of some shared characteristics of children. First, children are more vulnerable to mental and physical harm than adults. Children may too weak to resist family abuse, study pressure or drawback, or crime threat. Second, children are more likely to accept adviser and mentor's recommendation and instruction than grown-ups. Young children and teenagers have fewer barriers to accept intimates' assistance.

However, on the other side, there are three compelling reasons to lead the speaker's assertion partly specious. First reason is that, obviously, there are distinct different in a nationwide area for government to manage. Different cultures, economical development and local tradition varies greatly to the requirement of their children and adults. For instance, one underdeveloped district needs more on urgent development in adult career education and labor techniques but not prospective children. Contrarily, one area with reclusive tradition and less communication with outer world obviously requires more on children's willingness to accept new culture but not cultivate more on adults, which may only transform for a long time. Second reason is the dubious effect of such program of children. Some programs may be more prone to decline in effect on children than on adults. Children will be oscillated with the influence of pop, foreign or queer cultures during their growing process.

By contrast, the national programs are also essential for adults when considering the overall impact and effect of adults on the whole nation. The programs may be more accurately designed and planned in order to solve some specific problems of adults. Also adults probably choose suitable programs more willingly than children.

In sum, the speaker does present a necessary or even pressing need for children to be educated in national programs and receive proper service to care about their own health and welfare. However, the outlook to the importance balanced between children and adults are supposed to be more detailed planned because of some original problems for children to accept the programs nationwide. And adults are also required to accept the sort of education.

提纲：1.一些课程对于孩子来说确实重要。
         2. 一些国家提供的教育服务也是对于小孩子健康成长很重要。
         3. 这是由于孩子相对于成人的一些特性有关。
         4. 但是，发言者的观点部分的可疑：
                + 对于不同的文化和不同的地区，需要对于孩子和成年人教育侧重点不一样，如果全国政府的统一安排，不是很好。
                + 这些对于孩子的课程是否会让孩子一直记得？值得怀疑，相反，成年人会效果更好。
         5. 相反，如果国家投入一定的对于成年人的教育，可能同样必须。
         总结。

无敌小番茄UID: 2684290

楼主文章太长了
建议写出提纲
方便大家给意见

jun1986789UID: 2620443

已经拜读了您的文章。由于刚开始写ISSUE， 语言方面还不行，不能给出很好的建议。
在结构上 我觉得楼主文章结构上写的有些散，不够紧凑，找不到中心句。
因为我是按5段式写的， 觉得这样行文会清晰一些！别人看了一下子就能明白你想说的是什么
不知楼主是否赞成？