AW一周备战～只求3分保持---希望好心同学进来帮我改改作文，呆呆谢过～

taoyukun-daidaiUID: 2657922

下周的这个时间我将会再次坐在上财的机考教室中完成我的3.0+
鄙人要求不高，上次3.0，这次只要保持住就OK
一周时间应该可以搞定，毕竟上次的3.0是瞎写的，这次是有过1个月专心学习英语的经历～
托福版过来的，还不太了解G版。所以就写这么一点备战宣言吧。

           ARGU        提纲                  ISSUE（二选一，另外一个提纲）      必写       提纲
9.9      51,53       45,35                 130，153                                    8         208
9.10    203,169     238,161                 54，212                              147          69
9.11      7,188      37,186                 22，181                                 183          43  70
9.12     14,143     241,18                  40，103                                 51         144  184
9.13    145,165      10,150                131，207                               226         120  17
9.14    166,179     209,237                136，59                                 88          56
9.15    218,225      76                     50，48                                     63         221


I believe, I can do it!

taoyukun-daidaiUID: 2657922

TOPIC: ARGUMENT51 - The following appeared in a medical newsletter.
"Doctors have long suspected that secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. This hypothesis has now been proved by preliminary results of a study of two groups of patients. The first group of patients, all being treated for muscle injuries by Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, took antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment. Their recuperation time was, on average, 40 percent quicker than typically expected. Patients in the second group, all being treated by Dr. Alton, a general physician, were given sugar pills, although the patients believed they were taking antibiotics. Their average recuperation time was not significantly reduced. Therefore, all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment."
WORDS: 364          TIME: 01:00:52          DATE: 2009/9/9 10:32:28
In this article, the author argue that secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. At first glance, the author's reasoning seems to be appealing, while clearly inspect the author's evidence, we may find it unconvincing. The scrutiny reveals that none of them lend credible support to the recommendation.
First of all, the premise of the argumentation does not necessarily ensure establish. The prmise in the argument is that the secondary infections must happen. However, the editorial provides no evidence to substantiate that the patients who get muscle injuries will get or easily get the secondary infections.
Futher more, the author's evidences are insufficient to support the cinslusion. The author provide a study of two groups of patients. But there is little information about the patients. That is to say, the arguer provides no assurances that the survey on which the argument depends is statistically realiable. For instances, the ages, sex and other physiological characteristics of the patients. It is possible that the patients who took antibiotics are younger than the other group. In that case, the conclusition that the antibiotics help patients can not be established. In addition, the experience and standard of the doctor also should be take into consider. Lacking such evidence the author can not draw any firm conclusion based on the study.
Finally, the arguer commits a fallacy of hasty generalization. The author generalized a conclusion that patients should take antibiotics because the secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. Even if the hypothesis is true, the arguer can not easily say that  the antibiotics will always do good for the patients. It is possible that antibiotics have unpleasent side effect on patients. Without ruling out these and other possible factors that the antibiotics do harm for people, the autor cannot confidently conclude that antibiotics would be taken as part of that kind of patients' treatment.
To sum up, conclusion is not well supported. To bolster the recommendation the author should either provide better evidence that how much percent of the secondary infections among the patients and a scientific research under the same situation in the contrast experiment.

写的自己都不想看第二遍，感觉特烂。。。。拉出去，斩了！！！！！！！

xueyiUID: 2647060

小姑娘，你的模板痕迹也太重了……

taoyukun-daidaiUID: 2657922

ARGUMENT模板 我只想3.0+，确切的说，3分就够用，所以我还是用自己以前的模板，希望有人看到尽量帮忙改改，真的是没时间了。。。 开头： In this article, the arguer recommends that ... (加入文章大概逻辑链)At first glance, the author's reasoning seems to be appealing, while clearly inspect the author's evidence we may find it unconvincing. The scrutiny reveals that none of them lend credible support to the recommendation. 结尾： To sum up, the conclusion is not well supported. To bolster the recommendation the author should either provide better evidence that ...,or ... another one: To sum up, though the argument seems to be plausible, in fact, it is neither sound nor persuasive. Not only does it leave out such key issues, but also cites in the analysis the evidence, which does not lend strong support to what the arguer claim. To make the argument more convincing, the arguer would have to take the following conditions into consideration:... If the argument includes the given factors discussed above, it would have been more through and adequate. 中间段子： 1.前提不成立 The premise of the argumentation does not necessarily ensure establishment. The author stresses the premise that (A=>B)... However, the editorial provides no evidence to substantiate that (not B)... is owing to (not A)... In fact, there may be some other possible reasons which might also lead to ...(举例) 2.论据不足，抽样统计不可靠 The author's evidence are insufficient to support the conclusion.    The arguer provides no assurance that the survey on which the argument depends is statistically reliable. For example, if ...were surveyed but only ... responded, the conclusion that ... would be highly suspected. Another problem is the representativeness of the respondents. Were they representative of all the ...? Were ... chosen for the survey randomly of did they volunteer for the survey? Lacking such evidence the author cannot draw any firm conclusion based on the study. 3.过分简单得出结论，忽略多种原因 The arguer commits a fallacy of hasty generalization. In most instances, it is an unwarranted assumption for the simple reason that things rarely remain the same over extended periods of time. As we know, many factors should be taken into consideration, such as demographics of the population, geographical and physical terrain of the two different areas, ... and so forth. Without ruling out these and other possible factors that give rise to B, the author cannot confidently conclude that ... 4.因果关系错误 The author commits "after this, and therefore because of this" fallacy. The casual relationship between ... and ... is unwarranted. It is well known that ... This is a ridiculous reasoning unless the author can provide persuasive evidence to rule out any other possibilities. 5.他人经验不可用 The arguer unfairly assumes that (what is true in A) would ensure the similar result in B. The obvious difference between A and B is that ... Without accounting for possible difference between A and B, the arguer cannot convince me that ... 6.错误的类比 The argument is based on a false analogy. The arguer simply assumes that ... but he does not provide any evidence that ... are indeed comparable. It is true that both （相同点）... but even here exist fundamental diferences:（不同点）... As a result, A and B do not establish a warranted analogy. So we cannot safely assume that （两者类比）... 7.个体不能说明整体 The evidence the author provides is insufficient to support the conclusion drawn from it. One example is rarely sufficient to establish a general conclusion. Based on a specific example of..., it is logically unsounded to make suggestion for all ... Unless it can be shown that ... is representative of all... the conclusion that ... is completely unwarranted. 8.整体不适合个人 The arguer assumes the characteristics of a group apply equally to every member of that group. The conclusion that ... is based on the assumption that ...However ,there is no guarantee that this is not the case, not does the author provide any evidence to substantiate this assumption. It is very likely that ... Lacking such evidence the author cannot draw any firm conclusion. 好像分段可以结合在一起的嘛～

taoyukun-daidaiUID: 2657922

是啊是啊，我今年6G就是这么写的。。。完全的模板。。。我怕自己到不了3分。。。我只希望拿个3分就可以.你看行么？ 3# xueyi

xueyiUID: 2647060

哈，鉴于你的好名字，等我休息休息帮你看看啊：）
今儿对了一天电脑了，实在有点累，呵呵

taoyukun-daidaiUID: 2657922

TOPIC: ISSUE153 - "Students should bring a certain skepticism to whatever they study. They should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively."
WORDS: 403          TIME: 01:11:49          DATE: 2009/9/9 16:49:56
Faced with that an expending number of students learn the information without skepticism, the vast majority of people claim that students are too young to think the knowledge objectivly, while others hold the position that they should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively. As far as I am concerned, whether the knowledge should be skepticisim is depend on the knowledge itself and the standard of the students.

First of all, normal students need not doubt the truth which is hardly overthrow  by professors and scientists in millenary. On the one hand, students do not have enough time to speculative（动词） one truth. If they spend most of their time to reasoning the truth, they will not have time to study new knowledge. Then, they will not  enhance their standard of the knowledge. On the other hand, students just have normal knowledge. Even though they could doubt what they learned, they have no ability to overthrow the truth only use their own knowledge. So, it is obvious that under this situation, it is better to listen to the class.

In addition, to those young students who have not establish a total mind-set. They should listen to the teacher but not doubt almst everything aroud themselves. For instance, teacher tells them one add one equals to two. If the children doubt that and require the teacher to explain and deduce, most of them could not understand the complicated formula. On the other word, most of the young children should always accept the classes before they establish a total mind-set.

However, I admit that there also exsits some talents. They have a skepticism to whatever they study and they make a contribution to the scientific area. There is a proper example. GalileoItalian, astronomer and physicist, descovered law of uniform acceleration of falling bodies. His excellent experimient overthrow the so-said truth taught by his teacher named Aristotle. I think it is right to have a certain skepticism for talents to whatever they study.

Further more, I maintain that when students have already formed a scientifical thinking method, they should bring a certain skpticism to listen to the classes. For instance, most of senior students should have the ability to deduce the formula given by the professor instead of just remember it. They should question they are taught instead of accepting it passively, but except some archaic truth just as one and one is two.
   

不会写结尾了。。。:L

stanzyUID: 2629386

看完你的153我知道我自己又要修改了。看来大家都想到了不天才的孩子就不应该skepticism，我还以为是自己的独创呢！唉......
有一些词性的错误，比如说students do not have enough time to speculative one truth，显然不定式后面应该是动词的speculate。还有一个拼写错误almost，你写成了almst。不过我也经常犯这样的错误。
唉......我也想3分就行。不幸这次考差点，下次再考一回。

taoyukun-daidaiUID: 2657922

谢谢～ 8# stanzy

xueyiUID: 2647060

In this article, the author argue that secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. At first glance, the author's reasoning seems to be appealing, while clearly inspect the author's evidence, we may find it unconvincing. The scrutiny reveals that none of them lend credible support to the recommendation. 如果去掉了模板句，第一段是不是就没什么内容剩下了啊？
First of all, the premise of the argumentation does not necessarily ensure establish. The prmise in the argument is that the secondary infections must happen. However, the editorial provides no evidence to substantiate that the patients who get muscle injuries will get or easily get the secondary infections.
最好不要对前提和调查的有效性进行质疑。
Futher more, the author's evidences are insufficient to support the cinslusion. The author provide a study of two groups of patients. But there is little information about the patients. That is to say, the arguer provides no assurances that the survey on which the argument depends is statistically realiable. For instances, the ages, sex and other physiological characteristics of the patients. It is possible that the patients who took antibiotics are younger than the other group. （年轻能说明什么问题？必须把年轻的作用表述出来。如果再加上一句，“因为他们年轻，所以muscle的再生能力更好，而不是抗生素在起作用”，是不是显得更讲理呢？）In that case, the conclusition that the antibiotics help patients can not be established. In addition, the experience and standard of the doctor also should be take into consider.（为什么要考虑医生的经验和资质呢？因为有经验、资格老的医生可能更擅长肌肉拉伤的治疗，是他们的治疗方法使得伤者更快恢复，而跟抗生素的作用无关。） Lacking such evidence the author can not draw any firm conclusion based on the study.
Finally, the arguer commits a fallacy of hasty generalization. The author generalized a conclusion that patients should take antibiotics because the secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. Even if the hypothesis is true, the arguer can not easily say that  the antibiotics will always do good for the patients. It is possible that antibiotics have unpleasent side effect on patients. Without ruling out these and other possible factors that the antibiotics do harm for people, the autor cannot confidently conclude that antibiotics would be taken as part of that kind of patients' treatment.
To sum up, conclusion is not well supported. To bolster the recommendation the author should either provide better evidence that how much percent of the secondary infections among the patients and a scientific research under the same situation in the contrast experiment.
Argument最主要的是找逻辑错误，先不要急着写，试着把它翻译成中文，然后仔细找出其中的推理漏洞，如果单纯套模板的话，你就丧失了这个思考过程。这道题你再看看，到底有哪些地方是有纰漏的。
一周的时间可能比较赶，但是你最好先弄明白，真正的argument要怎么写，然后再进行练习，不然练再多也只是无用功啊。别求多，先认认真真的把写作要领搞明白。
看看argument的官方范文，再对照一下自己写的，尽量向官方范文的写作思路看齐，但不要照抄。

加油，小姑娘，看的出来你很有毅力：）

Troy_IrisUID: 2681154

呆呆...
不要抄题目...   一定

抄题目会给考官一种很不好的印象    而且容易造成语法的谬误
e.g.

, while others hold the position that they should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively.

这里的they的指代非常不清晰    一定要写the students

注意...


P.S.   ls的建议很中肯   建议多看看范文    至少是5分的那种能够模仿的作文

Troy_IrisUID: 2681154

呃     第二篇作文明天我改了发给你吧...
我要学习一下argument该怎么写

Troy_IrisUID: 2681154

Faced with that an expending number of students learn the information without skepticism, the vast majority of people claim that students are too young to think the knowledge objectivly, while others hold the position that they should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively这个自己注意改.... As far as I am concerned, whether the knowledge should be skepticisim is depend on the knowledge itself and the standard 有点畸形...  不过不影响大意of the students First of all, normal（intermediate） students need not to doubt the truth which is hardly overthrow  by professors and scientists in millenary. On the one hand, students do not have enough time to speculative（动词） one truth. If they spend most of their time to （不用...）reasoning the truth, they will not have time to study new knowledge.(主将从现是吧   我以为是虚拟语气) Then, they will not  enhance their standard of the knowledge. On the other hand, students just have normal knowledge. Even though they could doubt what they learned, they have no ability to overthrow the truth only use their own knowledge. So, it is obvious that under this situation, it is better(the better way is...) to listen to the class.这两个句式重复的...In addition, to those young students who have not establish a total mind-set. They should listen to the(不用) teachers but not instead of doubt almost everything aroud themselves. For instance, teacher tells them one add one equals to two. If the children doubt that and require the teacher to explain and deduce, most of them could not understand the complicated formulas. On prep. 的用法   用 In another word 更加符合习惯the other word, most of the young children should always accept the classes ？？？before they establish a total mind-set.However, I admit that there also exsits some talents. They have a skepticism to whatever they study and they make a contribution 并列并列并列...to the scientific area. There is a proper example. Galile Galileo, Italian, astronomer and physicist, descovered the law of uniform acceleration of falling bodies. His excellent experimient overthrow the so-said so-called "truth" taught by his teacher named Aristotle我会用一个从句去表述A的所作所为.... I think。。。 it is right to have a certain skepticism for talents to whatever they study.平行...   并列....   对比....   注意Further more, I maintain that when students have already formed a scientifical thinking method呃  我会说  way of thinking, they should bring a certain skpticism to listen to the classes. For instance, most of senior students should have the ability to deduce the formula given by the professor instead of just remember it. They should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively, but ; 的用法...except some archaic truth just as "one and （plus）one is two".


我真的是"明天"啊....

Troy_IrisUID: 2681154

这个颜色。。。   我还是传.doc的文件给你吧...        在群里收...

taoyukun-daidaiUID: 2657922

谢谢你们，我刚把GRE取消了，谢谢大家这么热心的帮我改作文，我对不起大家。。。

我托福65分。。。唯一能做的事情对我而言就是：  
取消GRE，专心备战托福！！

谢谢大家～