进军美利坚作文eeqkchen（后知后觉）10.15

eeqkchenUID: 2644469

With the development of sicence and economy, all various of careers reseceive large improvement on their earings. However, salaries for teachers have remained at a stagnated level for a long time. It has been a focus discussion about whether it is necessary to pay more to teachers. In my opinion, teachers should be paid as the same as some other careers  like doctors, lawyers,bussiness leader,etc.
    First, it is universally acknowledged that, most teachers spare no effect to undertake the significant resonsibility of enabling us not only to obtain more knowledge, but aslo to get mature point to the real world as well. That's why teachers often present hard-working figtures in our minds.Second, teachers indeed proide an underlying increasing of the fortune for society.There is no doubt that the success of every doctor, lawyer or bussiness leader attributes to a considerable teacher. In another word, teachers determinate the future of most people and the society.So why could not they gain the resemble pays as the others? Furthermore, an expending number of teachers leave schoole to earn more for improving their lives, which leads to devoid of high-educated people to teach the following generation.It is conceivable that how important it is to exalt pays of teachers to deliver the situation of our education.
    In conclusion, teachers play more and more important role in modern life, but their treatments do not macth with the values they actually create.Perhaps, the controversy about escalating teacher's salary will incte the specific action all over the world.

doubledianUID: 2661760

With the development of sicence （拼写错误）and economy, all various of careers reseceive （拼写）large improvement on their earings（拼写）. However, salaries for teachers have remained at a stagnated level for a long time. It has been a focus discussion about whether it is necessary to pay more to teachers. In my opinion, teachers should be paid as the same as some other careers  like doctors, lawyers,bussiness leader,etc.
    First, it is universally acknowledged that, most teachers spare no effect to undertake the significant resonsibility of enabling us not only to obtain more knowledge, but aslo to get mature point to the real world as well. That's why teachers often present hard-working figtures in our minds.Second, teachers indeed proide an underlying increasing of the fortune for society.There is no doubt that the success of every doctor, lawyer or bussiness leader attributes to a considerable teacher. In another word, teachers determinate the future of most people and the society.So why could not they gain the resemble pays as the others? Furthermore, an expending number of teachers leave schoole to earn more for improving their lives, which leads to devoid of high-educated people to teach the following generation.It is conceivable that how important it is to exalt pays of teachers to deliver the situation of our education.
    In conclusion, teachers play more and more important role in modern life, but their treatments do not macth with the values they actually create.Perhaps, the controversy about escalating teacher's salary will incte the specific action all over the world.
我感觉你这篇作文除了我给你的那几点意见之外，写的很好，很有思路，主要是论证不足，原因就是字数太少了，中间有些拼写错误，你放到word上看看吧，这里就不一一指出了。我本人的作文水平很差，所以也给你提不出什么建设性的意见，改的不尽完善，请谅解

scutgongUID: 2564275

With the development of science and economy, all various of careers receive large improvement on their earnings. However, salaries for teachers have remained at a stagnated level for a long time. It has been a focus discussion about whether it is necessary to pay more to teachers. In my opinion, teachers should be paid as the same as some other careers，  such as doctors, lawyers, business leader, etc.
    First, it is universally acknowledged that, most teachers spare no effect to undertake the significant responsibility of enabling us not only to obtain more knowledge, but also to get mature point to the real world as well. That's why teachers often present hard-working figures in our minds. Second, teachers indeed provide an underlying increasing of the fortune for society. There is no doubt that the success of every doctor, lawyer or business leader attributes to a considerable teacher. In another word, teachers determinate the future of most people and the society. So why could not they gain the resemble pays as the others? Furthermore, an expending number of teachers leave school to earn more to improve their lives, which leads to devoid of high-educated people to teach the following generation. It is conceivable that how important it is to exalt pays of teachers to deliver the situation of our education.
    In conclusion, teachers play more and more important role in modern life, but their treatments do not match with the values they actually create. Perhaps, the controversy about escalating teacher's salary will incite the specific action all over the world.

作者写的还不错，但是本文存在很多的词语错误，作者以后多多注意拼写错误。我只在第一段标出了。然后作者可能是时间原因没有写完这篇文章。好好努力。

heqiang_1001UID: 2607349

With the development(我刚学了一个burgeoning) of sicence and economy, all various of careers reseceive large improvement on their earings(?). However, salaries for teachers have remained at a stagnated level(这个我不懂诶，没查到这个表达) for a long time. It has been a focus（focusing） discussion about whether it is necessary to pay more to teachers. In my opinion, teachers should be paid as the same as some other careers like doctors, lawyers,bussiness leader,etc.
    First, it is universally acknowledged that, most teachers spare no effect to undertake the significant resonsibility of enabling us not only to obtain more knowledge, but aslo to get mature point to the real world as well.（好句子） That's why teachers often present hard-working figtures in our minds.Second, teachers indeed proide（provide） an underlying increasing of the fortune for society.（这个表达也很好，学习）There is no doubt that the success of every doctor, lawyer or bussiness leader attributes to a considerable teacher. In another word, teachers determinate the future of most people and the society.So why could not they gain the resemble pays as the others? Furthermore, an expending（expanding） number of teachers leave schoole to earn more for improving their lives, which leads to devoid of high-educated people to teach the following generation.（这个句子也很好，学习）It is conceivable that how important it is to exalt pays(学习)of teachers to deliver（what does this word mean here?） the situation of our education.
In conclusion, teachers play more and more important role in modern life, but their treatments do not macth with the values they actually create（学习）.Perhaps, the controversy about escalating teacher's salary（学习） will incte the specific action all over the world.

最大的问题就是字数太少了。论点和结构都没问题，就是每个都没展开，展开字数也就有了。感觉基础很扎实呢，好多表达都值得学习。吼吼，加油~~