第一次写GRE作文，argument 53,很烂，大家能不能给点建议呀，感觉好难……

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The author concludes that increased level of melatonin before birth leads to the result of shyness during infancy and this situation goes on into later life. To justify the claim, the author provides the evidence that the infants in the experiment were more likely to be pregnant in early autumn, when their mother's production of melatonin increases due to de decreased daylight. In addition, the follow-ship study showed that more than half of these children think themselves shy. At first glance, the author's argument appears somewhat convincing, but further reflection reveals that it omits somen important concerns so that the argument is problemetic for the following reasons.
First of all, the author did not note the number of sample, so it is possible that the sample number is not large enough. From this point, the base of the experiment is not tenable.
In addition, the author commits a fallacy of misapplied generalization in assuming that the melatonin will leads to the distress. There are many things may contribute to the distress of infants. For example, they did not like there incubators or they had been beaten by someone. These things can also cause the distress. I do not deny that melation may be the core elements result in distress, but the author did not provide enough evidence to support his assumption.
The author also made mistakes. The author mentioned that,after the 13 years half of  the children involved in the experiment think that they are shy. And he concludes that increased melatonin before leads to the shyness and this shyness continues into later life. The writer made a fallacy of " Post hoc, ergo propter hoc". Obviously, many elements can contribute to the shyness. Someone do not have a good friend, so he does not like to talk with others, this also can leads to the shyness. From this degree, the writer can not make such conclusion.
There are also mistakes in statics. The writer did not give the exact percentage of the children who identify themselves shyness. He just mentioned that more than half of the children identify themselves shyness. 51% is more than half and 99% is more than half too. If the percentage is only 51%, I think the conclusion is not tenable.
In conclusion, the author fails to validate the conclusion that ncreased level of melatonin before birth leads to the result of shyness during infancy and this situation goes on into later life. To solidify the argument, the author should provide more exact data(the author use "a group of  children", and "more than half of").