issue11 我的第一篇!

songyxUID: 118533

"All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."

  The speaker asserts that a global university is needed to be designed for the purpose of solving the world’s most persistent social problems. In my view, however, it’s not a practical idea to design a global university with the support of all nations. There are several reasons.
  Firstly, the design of a global university may not have the function of solving the world’s most persistent social problems because every country has its own social problems different with others in their different orientations, such as different culture clash、religious and traditions. Because people from different countries have different backgrounds, those and only those living this country or having such experiences can have a deeply feeling about the problems. For example, the problem of gun in school in becoming more and more severe in America resulting from the legal posses of it for individuals. Someone including me may wonder that it can be simply solved by take them back from individuals and announce that it is illegal for individuals to posses it. As a matter of fact, the solvent of the problem is far too easy by doing that. Evidently it is not practical simply by assembling students into a so called global university for the sake of solving the social problems.
   Secondly, it’s no use to design a global university in order to solve the social problems in the world. Any common university with related majors can serve the purpose. Some one may question that some countries lack some experiences while others have. However, I argue that in the era of rapid science and technology changes in all fields especially in communication, it’s an easy thing for us to learn from others in various ways such as through Internet, satellites communication and so on.
   Thirdly, the purpose of education is to culminate various kinds of experts according to their interests to forward our society. And any education should not exist apart from the realities. It’s a waste and not wise to design a university for the sole purpose of solving social problems let it alone that whether it can or not. Even the global university may serve its original purpose, it’s true that some students graduating from other common university do have the good ability in solving social problems. We may put the money and energy into some other uses that need most.
    There are also some other reasons besides the above that convince the view that it is a impractical action to design a global university to engage the students in solving world social problems such as who can be the teacher of the university and so on .Some other practical actions having the equal function we may take to serve our purpose.

SMMUID: 106624

So many drafts. Please read and re-write it after a fewdays. I will give my comments when I have time.

Keep writing. Best wishes

songyxUID: 118533

谢谢各位大虾指正！

SMMUID: 106624

"All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."

The speaker asserts that a global university is needed to be designed for the purpose of solving the world’s most persistent social problems. In my view, however, it’s not a practical idea to design a global university with the support of all nations. There are several reasons.

Firstly, the design of a global university may not have the function of solving the world’s most persistent social problems because every country has its own social problems different with others in their different orientations, such as different culture clash、religious and traditions. Because people from different countries have different backgrounds, those and only those living this country or having such experiences can have a deeply feeling about the problems. For example, the problem of gun in school in becoming more and more severe in America resulting from the legal posses of it for individuals. Someone including me may wonder that it can be simply solved by take them back from individuals and announce that it is illegal for individuals to posses it. As a matter of fact, the solvent [solution ]of the problem is far too easy by doing that[is far too easy to do sth, But this express seems unclear ]. Evidently it is not practical simply by assembling students into a so called global university for the sake of solving the social problems.

Secondly, it’s no use to design a global university in order to solve the social problems in the world. Any common university with related majors can serve the purpose. Some one may question that some countries lack some experiences while others have. However, I argue that in the era of rapid science and technology changes in all fields especially in communication, it’s an easy thing for us to learn from others in various ways such as through Internet, satellites communication and so on.

Thirdly, the purpose of education is to culminate various kinds of experts according to their interests to forward our society. And any education should not exist apart from the realities. It’s a waste and not wise to design a university for the sole purpose of solving social problems let it alone that whether it can or not. Even the global university may serve its original purpose, it’s true that some students graduating from other common university do have the good ability in solving social problems. We may put the money and energy into some other uses that need most.

There are also some other reasons besides the above that convince the view that it is a impractical action to design a global university to engage the students in solving world social problems such as who can be the teacher of the university and so on .[?  What you want to put in this long sentence? I'm sorry. I don't think this is a clear sentence. ] Some other practical actions having the equal function we may take to serve our purpose. [Why not just say "We may take some other practical actions having the equal function to serve our purpose"? ]



As a whole, your respone is clear and adquate. The structure is quite  compact and clear. If there are sth I think to be improved, you seems to repeat your supporting reaons a little.   I have made some corrections. You may re-read your essays after a few weeks to get some fresh feelling.

songyxUID: 118533

thank u very much for your amendment!
i'll take your advice and go on writting!

angeikimUID: 4857

也多多帮别人改改吧;)