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[活动] 1-7独立作文 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-1-7 21:42:23 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
People today spend too much time on their enjoyment --what they like to do --rather than what they should do?
Thanks to the development of science and technology, people today have more access to various kinds of enjoyment which caters to our physical or mental happiness. However, that doesn't mean people have
squander too much time on their enjoyment which should be spent on what they should do. After all, we all live in a world where competition is getting ever fiercer. We have to focus on what we should do to survive and proper.


Competition in modern world is getting more and more intense which calls for considerable preparation for one to survive. We have to compete with classmates in school in order to get high grades and excellent performance; at work, we have to compete with colleagues and even potential colleagues to stay in position or get promotion. To keep abreast with times, we need to try our best to master the new skills and knowledge that keeps popping out such as computer skills. Take myself for example. I surely realize that I should get to university for a better future, so I studied very hard at high school. When I got to university, I manageed to excel at my major and took part-time jobs and internship to accumulate experience. Now, I am preparing for studying abroad. I do spend some time to entertain my self but I concentrate on my study most of the time. Since I know without efforts and hard work now, I will have nothing in the future, let alone enjoyment.

In addition, many people today view the process of pursuing dreams as their enjoyment. In this case, no one can condemn them for spending too much time
on their enjoyment. We know there are many scientists who devote most of their time and energy on their research. They seldom do some things that others commonly consider as enjoyment such as going on tours, having luxuries such as fancy cars and grand house. They know they want to come up with something new and innovative.


To sum up, people today understand what they should
do to live a better life in the future, for him or herself or for human being as a whole. And since we have to endure so much stress and pressure from competition, we are qulified to some moderate enjoyment occasionally to release the stress.

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发表于 2010-1-8 20:52:51 |只看该作者
People today spend too much time on their enjoyment --what they like to do --rather than what they should do?
Thanks to the development of science and technology, people today have more access to various kinds of enjoyment which caters to 好词our physical or mental happiness. However, that doesn't mean people have squandered too much time on their enjoyment which should be spent on what they should do. After all, we all live in a world where competition is getting ever fiercer. We have to focus on what we should do to survive and proper.没看懂
Competition in modern world is getting more and more最好不要用,可以考虑用increasingly intense which calls for considerable preparation for one to survive. We have to compete with classmates in school in order to get high grades and excellent performance; at work, we have to compete with colleagues and even potential colleagues to stay in position or get promotion. To keep abreast with times用的有点怪, we need to try our best to master the不要 new skills and knowledge that keeps popping out such as computer skills. Take myself for example. I surely realize that I should get to university for a better future, so I studied very hard at high school. When I got to university, I manageed to excel at my major and took part-time jobs and internship to accumulate experience. Now, I am preparing for studying abroad. I do spend some time to entertain my self but I concentrate on my study most of the time. Since I know without efforts and hard work now, I will have nothing in the future, let alone enjoyment.  
In addition, many people today view the process of pursuing dreams as their enjoyment. In this case, no one can condemn them for spending too much time on their enjoyment. We know there are many scientists who devote most of their time and energy on their research. They seldom do some things that others commonly consider as enjoyment such as going on tours, having luxuries such as fancy cars and grand house. They know they want to come up with something new and innovative. 这段从下定义的角度论证了enjoyment,赞一个
To sum up, people today understand what they should do to live a better life in the future, for him or herself or for human being as a whole. And since we have to endure so much stress and pressure from competition, we are qualified to some moderate enjoyment occasionally to release the stress.
这篇文章的词汇基本还是不错,个别拼写错误存在。建议楼主适当缩短某些句子的长度,下定义的那段论证很精彩,逻辑较清晰,最终似乎还没有很明确表达自己观点,不过个人感觉这篇文章的难度挺大的,所以本身也不好写,呵呵,加油

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