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[未归类] 1.13 作业 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-1-13 19:29:49 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Along with the development of the industry, more and more land is needed for providing place to build new factories and a large amount of timber is gathered to offer materials for manufacture. These human needs exert extremely negative effects on the protection of forest. Some people may argue that in order to meet such human need of economical development, it is necessary to sacrifice a certain portion of the forest resources. However, contrary to their opinion is my heartfelt agreement with the idea that we should preserve forest for the sake of a better living environment.

To begin with, forest is the home for a large range of animals, and it provides them with food, shelters, and habitats. If the trees in the forest were chopped down, some of them would be forced to face the danger of extinction. For example, Giant Pander, an endangered animal exiting only within China, feeds on bamboo. Bamboo possesses a variety of values for industrial utility. Their skin can be used to produce durable bascket, and the inside part of it can be cooked, which is a delicious food. So they have been chopped down in large to meet this need. As a result, the already serious danger of food shortage faced by the Giant Pander becomes more severe.

On the other hand, preserving forest plays an important role in preventing some of human habitats from desertization. During recent years, desertization has caused great public concern, for it has threatened our basic living condition. It can worsen the already unpleasant weather conditions like causing sandstorm and even destroy our cities. So stopping desert to continue expanding is becoming a drastically pressing issue. Trough keeping the soil from been washed away by rain, the forest contributes directly to stop desertization.

Last but not least, the rapid development of industry undoubtedly brings about enormous benefits to our human beings, for it improves the level of living standard and enriches our life with a myriad of entertainments, but at the same time, it also causes serious environmental problems, especially air pollution. Trough photosynthesis, threes are able to purify the air, which can offer us a more pleasant environment. But if the forest is cut down, what should we turn to look for help when we are threatened by the air pollution?

In a nutshell, although industrial development and economical growth is important and necessary to better the quality of life, but it would be an error to argue that in order to develop industry we should give up the protection of forest. When we enjoy the advantages that industry brings about, isn’t it necessary for us to take into consideration protecting the forest form further decreasing for the purpose of a better living environment?
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沙发
发表于 2010-1-14 15:57:12 |只看该作者
Along with the development of the industry, more and more land is needed for providing place (更多的land和提供place重复了) to build new factories, and a large amount of timber is (are? 既然是gather就应该是复数吧?) gathered to offer materials for manufacture. These human needs exert extremely negative effects on the protection of forest. Some people may argue(这里的逻辑联系不太对,这里的some people并没有argue前面的意见,而是前面意见的具体化吧) that in order to meet such human need of economical development, it is necessary to sacrifice a certain portion of the forest resources. However, contrary to their opinion is my heartfelt agreement with the idea that we should preserve forest for the sake of a better living environment

( [, J( @( ^7 h& H! _/ K' y
To begin with, forest is the home for a large range of animals, and (for,
因为) it provides them with food, shelters, and habitats. If the trees in the forest were chopped down, some of them (直接用animals, 否则有的指代不明) would be forced to face the danger of extinction. For example, Giant Pander, an endangered animal exiting only within China, feeds on bamboo. Bamboo possesses a variety of values for industrial utility. Their skin can be used to produce durable bascket, and the inside part of it can be cooked, which is a delicious food. So they have been chopped down in large to meet this need (this need指的是什么needbamboo的用途是什么need). As a result, the already serious danger of food shortage faced by the Giant Pander becomes more severe.

H7 A3 @6 k. `. c7 e) Z1 p" y
On the other hand, preserving forest plays an important role in preventing some of human habitats from desertization. During recent years, desertization has caused great public concern, for it has threatened our basic living condition. It can worsen the already unpleasant weather conditions like causing sandstorm and even destroy our cities. So stopping desert to continue expanding is becoming a drastically pressing issue. Trough keeping the soil from been washed away by rain, the forest contributes directly to stop desertization.

Last but not least, the rapid development of industry undoubtedly brings about enormous benefits to our human beings, for it improves the level of living standard and enriches our life with a myriad of entertainments, but at the same time, it also causes serious environmental problems, especially air pollution. Trough photosynthesis, threes are able to purify the air, which can offer us a more pleasant environment. But if the forest is cut down, what should we turn to look for help when we are threatened by the air pollution?
. ^! E$ n" W

In a nutshell, although industrial development and economical growth is important and necessary to better the quality of life, but it would be an error to argue that in order to develop industry we should give up the protection of forest. When we enjoy the advantages that industry brings about, isn’t it necessary for us to take into consideration protecting the forest form further decreasing for the purpose of a better living environment?

单词拼写错误没有改,through写成了Trough
总的来说例子都还不错,但是我不确定bamboo是不是可以当作forest的一部分来说,反正常规思维就是指的treewood之类的
还有一个问题,从工业的发展引入森林资源这个话题是可以的。但是工业不能占主导地位,题目并不是在工业和森林之间做一个选择,所以读最后一个例子和结尾部分,感觉是在写不能因为选择工业而放弃森林。题目的重点在why it needs to be saved。所以写的时候还是要小心,不能写着写着就转移重要矛盾了哦

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板凳
发表于 2010-1-14 19:56:34 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 love_bingjing 于 2010-1-14 19:57 编辑

1.14 作业

Along with the advancement of technology, we have already entered an internet era, which should be ascribed to the invention of computers to great extent. However, the rapidly expanding of the number of people who use computers also causes wide public concern. Some people argue that computer brings about a great many serious problems for specific reasons. Contrary to their opinion is my heartfelt agreement with idea that the advantages that computer creates is more obvious.

To begin with, the computer makes information more easily to access. Nowadays, we have been granted easy access to plenty of information just within the bedroom and the only requirement is just a computer, which cannot be imagined in earlier time. For example, you just need to type several words in the search bar of Google, and then thousands of pages of information will be presented in front of you just within several seconds. In addition, getting information through a computer is more convenient compared with other kinds of methods like looking through a book or turning to a library.

On the other hand, making a variety of entertainments easily available, computer enriches our life to a large degree. When you get bored of your work or study, just turn to the computer and a wealth of stuffs is waiting there to offer you fun and relaxation, such things as movies, music and electronic games. However, the stuff that the computer provides is by no means limited only to provide fun; these materials also infuse us with moral value and other kinds of important characters. For example, computer gives us ample opportunities to gain access to movies, and through these movies we can learn a lot: 'The Titanic' teaches us what true love is; 'The Shawhank Redemption' what perseverance is; and 'The Philadelphia Story' what justice is.

At the same time, it must be admitted that computer also bring some negative affects on our lives. For example, it is an undoubted fact that most of children lack of self-control. When left fully exposed to electronic games, they may become astray. Their main task surely is to study, but these games may distract them from their study and lead them to communicate with peers much less frequently.

To sum up, though computer may bring about a couple of disadvantages, the benefits we enjoy far outweigh its drawbacks. As human beings living in modern society, can we imagine what the world will become if there is not a computer?

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地板
发表于 2010-1-15 09:33:33 |只看该作者
1.14 作业- E) `& e  G  q  i
, ]7 w' L; ]% ?" ^, |+ C
Along with the advancement of technology, we have already entered an internet era, which should be ascribed to the invention of computers to great extent. However, the rapidly expanding of the number of people who use computers also causes wide public concern. Some people argue that computer brings about a great many serious problems for specific reasons. Contrary to their opinion is my heartfelt agreement with idea that the advantages that computer creates is more obvious.(此句意思不是很明白)

To begin with, the computer makes information more easily to access. Nowadays, we have been granted easy access to plenty of information just within the bedroom and the only requirement is just a computer, which cannot be imagined in earlier time. For example, you just need to type several words in the search bar of Google, and then thousands of pages of information will be presented in front of you just within several seconds. In addition, getting information through a computer is more convenient compared with other kinds of methods like looking through a book or turning to a library.: x) K& k$ j( a: J8 Y  v
* q1 `6 W4 V. Q0 I( G% F4 S

On the other hand, making a variety of entertainments easily available, computer enriches our life to a large degree. When you get bored of your work or study, just turn to the computer and a wealth of stuffs is waiting there to offer you fun and relaxation, such things as movies, music and electronic games. However, the stuff that the computer provides is by no means limited only to provide fun; these materials also infuse us with moral value and other kinds of important characters. For example, computer gives us ample opportunities to gain access to movies, and through these movies we can learn a lot: 'The Titanic' teaches us what true love is; 'The Shawhank Redemption' what perseverance is; and 'The Philadelphia Story' what justice is.

[, D5 c( b) l
At the same time, it must be admitted that computer also bring some negative affects on our lives. For example, it is an undoubted fact that most of children lack of self-control. When left fully exposed to electronic games, they may become astray. Their main task surely is to study, but these games may distract them from their study and lead them to communicate with peers much less frequently.: K% y8 M+ N5 P4 S0 Q& m( F" M
6 d9 b: |0 s' _

To sum up, though computer may bring about a couple of disadvantages, the benefits we enjoy far outweigh its drawbacks. As human beings living in modern society, can we imagine what the world will become if there is not a computer?

LZ的文章遣词造句都很不错,文章功底不错,但是就这篇文章来说,个人感觉问题有两点,一点是观点不够鲜明,即在第一段中立场不够明确;第二点是感觉长句太多,适当用一些短句可使文章更加顺畅易懂。其他问题不大!

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发表于 2010-1-15 10:50:38 |只看该作者
Along with the advancement of technology, we have already entered an internet era, which should be ascribed to the invention of computers to great extent. However, the rapidly expanding of the number of people who use computers also causes wide public concern. Some people argue that computer brings about a great many serious problems for specific reasons. Contrary to their opinion is my heartfelt agreement with idea that the advantages that computer creates is (are) more obvious. (这句话有点累赘)

To begin with, the computer makes information more easily to access. Nowadays, we have been granted
(如果要用grant被动,应该在后面加个介词吧,我是觉得换个词好点,直接说it is accessible for us to get plenty of information) easy access to plenty of information just within the bedroom and the only requirement is just a computer, which cannot be imagined in earlier time. For example, you just need to type several words in the search bar of Google, and then thousands of pages of information will be presented in front of you just within several seconds. In addition, getting information through a computer is more convenient compared with other kinds of methods like looking through a book or turning to a library.

On the other hand, making a variety of entertainments easily available, computer enriches our life to a large degree. When you get bored of your work or study, just turn to the computer and a wealth of stuffs is
(are) waiting there to offer you fun and relaxation, such things as movies, music and electronic games. However, the stuff that the computer provides is by no means limited only to provide fun; these materials also infuse us with moral value and other kinds of important characters. For example, computer gives us ample opportunities to gain access to movies, and through these movies we can learn a lot: 'The Titanic' teaches us what true love is; 'The Shawhank Redemption' what perseverance is; and 'The Philadelphia Story' what justice is (
后面两句的省略方式有点奇怪).

At the same time, it must be admitted that computer also bring some negative affects on our lives. For example, it is an undoubted fact that most of children lack of self-control. When left fully exposed to electronic games, they may become astray. Their main task surely is to study, but these games may distract them from their study and lead them to communicate with peers much less frequently.


To sum up, though computer may bring about a couple of disadvantages, the benefits we enjoy far outweigh its drawbacks. As human beings living in modern society, can we imagine what the world will become if there is not a computer?

写的不错,尤其是用词和文章安排的结构上,只是有些句子要注意一下,太长的句子就分开写吧

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发表于 2010-1-15 17:25:10 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 love_bingjing 于 2010-1-15 17:26 编辑

1.15 作业  这篇作文写的巨纠结。。。

The rapid advancement of technology has made it more easily to have access to a variety of entertainments just through a TV set, but it is too hasty to conclude this change is totally a pleasant thing. Some people argue that watching such events on television possess many advantages for specific reasons. However, contrary to their opinion is my heartfelt agreement with the idea that the advantages attending living performance creates are more obvious.

To begin with, attending a living performance is more likely to ignite our enthusiasm. At the scene of a performance, others’ shouting have the magic to make us shout along with them and lead us to devote our full emotion to this game. Others’ low or high spirits will also infect us to a large degree. For example, I am a fan of Manchester United, a well-know football team. Last summer I visited Britain which offered me an opportunity to watch one living performance of Manchester United. It was a hard match, and until the last several minutes, Manchester United still stayed behind its competitor for one goal, but the fans did not lose faith on her and all sung the song of Manchester to express heartfelt love to her, all of which made me deeply moved and even be inclined to shed tears.

On the other hand, by attending living performances, we have the opportunity to contact with our idols and even take a picture with them which possesses memorial value. I am a strong supporter of Vedran Runje, who is a member of Manchester United. During the break of a match I attended last summer, I have a chance to talk with him and he even gave me a signature, which was big surprise to me. In addition, participating in the living show, we can meet a lot of people who share the same love for the very activity and can make friends with them. We can exchange ideas about this activity and share the joy when the team we support wins and encourage each other when the team loses.

At the same time, it must be admitted that watching such events on television also possess some benefits. It is more convenient, for you can enjoy a wealth of performances just in front a TV set and you also can record them in order to review them in future or because you have no time to appreciate them right now. In addition, watching sports and concert on television is much cheaper than at the place where they are held.

To sup up, though watching performance in a TV has a couple of advantages, it cannot contend against the benefits that appreciating such things at the scene brings about. For my part, enthusiasm and communicating with others are the most important elements of a performance, which only attending living performance can give us. So I prefer watching a performance just where it is held.

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发表于 2010-1-16 23:05:30 |只看该作者
1.15 作业  

The rapid advancement of technology has made it more easily (easy) to have access to a variety of entertainments just through a TV set, but it is too hasty to conclude this change is totally a pleasant thing. Some people argue that watching such events on television possess (possesses) many advantages for specific reasons. However, contrary to their opinion is my heartfelt agreement with the idea that the advantages attending living performance creates are (主语是idea,应该用is) more obvious.


To begin with, attending a living performance is more likely to ignite our enthusiasm. At the scene of a performance, others’ shouting have the magic to make us shout along with them and lead us to devote our full emotion to this game. Others’ low or high spirits will also infect us to a large degree. For example, I am a fan of Manchester United, a well-know football team. Last summer I visited Britain (这里应该用逗号隔开,后面的定语从句是个非限定性定语从句) which offered me an opportunity to watch one living performance of Manchester United. It was a hard match, and until the last several minutes, Manchester United still stayed behind its competitor for one goal, but the fans did not lose faith on her and all sung the song of Manchester to express heartfelt love to her, all of which made me deeply moved and even be inclined to shed tears.) A3 Y7 }9 G! H( r1 {

On the other hand, by attending living performances, we have the opportunity to contact with our idols and even take a picture with them (同样,用逗号隔开,非限定性定语从句)which possesses memorial value. I am a strong supporter of Vedran Runje, who is a member of Manchester United. During the break of a match I attended last summer, I have (had)a chance to talk with him and he even gave me a signature, which was big surprise to me. In addition, (by) participating in the living show, we can meet a lot of people who share the same love for the very activity and can make friends with them. We can exchange ideas about this activity and share the joy when the team we support wins and encourage each other when the team loses., B9 ]$ ?9 B! G+ \# @9 l1 u

At the same time, it must be admitted that watching such events on television also possess some benefits. It is more convenient, for you can enjoy a wealth of performances just in front a TV set and you also can record them in order to review them in future or because you have no time to appreciate them right now. In addition, watching sports and concert on television is much cheaper than at the place where they are held. 0 s; v) S& y, _5 y3 U
; z2 n, t. O% q3 ^6 l; {% c

To sup up, though watching performance in a TV has a couple of advantages, it cannot contend against the benefits that appreciating such things at the scene brings about.(这句读起来一不小心能读串了,能否改成it can not contend against the benefits that appreciating such things brought about by appreciating such things at the scene?) For my part, enthusiasm and communicating with others are the most important elements of a performance, which only attending living performance can give us. So I prefer watching a performance just where it is held.

没什么大问题,写得挺不错的,陈述语言应用得很成熟,词汇也很丰富。感觉LZ跟我有一点很像,就是有时候情不自禁地想用长句来陈述,这篇文章还好,感觉有时候长句稍微一步注意就会让读者读串。长短句结合会更好!加油!

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