习作一篇

flearUID: 2533174

第一篇，随意选了个题目。
Do you agree or disagree that: the parents do not understand their children as well today as parents understood their children 50 years ago.



It is a fact that many people today, especially the parents, do not want to admit, but indeed, parents today do not understand their children as well today as parents do 50 years age.

With the time changing and information exploding, many parents may feel hard adapt their step with the pace of time while their children are absorbing all the new things. Some of the ideas of the modern world may be just too different or even contrary to the standards formed deeply in the minds of the parents for so many years that it is impossible for them to erase the old beliefs and accept the brand new. However, the minds of children are just like blank papers, every stroke can make an impact on them. They can easily absorb the new things and adapt their pace to the modern world with their minds open. In this way, the generation gap between parents and children are deepened and widened due to the uniformed ideas and beliefs they hold and their different pace of life.

Moreover, parents today are much busier than those in the past. They can spend far less time with their children. As competition has become the symbol of the modern society, most people have to work harder and longer to keep their job and support their family, and therefore there is less time remaining that they can stay at home accompanying their children. In addition, 50 years ago, most mothers just stayed at home doing the housework and taking care of the children, which is now done by the housekeeper instead. How can people expect to understand their children well with little time spending with them?

To put it in a nutshell, it is an inescapable fact that parents today do not understand their children as well as parents do 50 years ago. Yet, this is not all bad. Children today are becoming much more independent and more capable of making a living by themselves, which enable them to survive in the competitive society.

mpromanusUID: 2565872

It is a fact that many people today, especially the parents, do not want to admit, (It's not clear what this 'fact' is if a reader comes in without knowing the question. This is acceptable in speeches and informal writings, of course, but an essay is a more formal context, so you should state the issue very clearly even if it's given in the question.) but indeed, parents today do not understand their children as well today as parents do 50 years ago. (This is kind of simple for a starting paragraph. It'd be better if you take some time to elaborate a bit on the background - what do you think it means for parents to 'understand' their children? Is '50 years' a particularly important piece of information? Things like that. But again, your current version is okay. It's just a little bit thin. If you have the time and energy, do think about how you may analyze and understand such a question with more depth.)

With the time changing? and information exploding, many parents may feel hard adapting their step with the pace of time? while their children are absorbing all the new things. Some of the ideas of the modern world may be just too different or even contrary to the standards formed deeply in the minds of the parents for so many years, that it is impossible for them to erase the old beliefs and accept the brand new. However, the minds of children are just like blank pieces of papers: every stroke can make an impact on them (Remember to use connective devices or words. Two sentences thrown together without a proper connective is a grammatical error.). They can easily absorb the new things and adapt their pace (This seems to be influenced by the Chinese expression 适应xxx的步伐/脚步..) to the modern world with their minds open. In this way, the generation gap between parents and children are deepened and widened due to the uniformed ideas and beliefs they (Who?) hold and their different pace of life. (You might want to add further stress on the topic by adding that this wider and deeper generation gap means parents don't understand their children. Do something similar to what you do at the end of the next paragraph: go back to the keywords in the question.)

Moreover, parents today are much busier than those in the past. They can spend far less time with their children. As competition has become the symbol of the modern society, most people have to work harder and longer to keep their jobs and support their families, and therefore there is less time remaining that they can stay at home accompanying their children. In addition, 50 years ago, most mothers just stayed at home, doing the housework and taking care of the children, which is now done by the housekeepers instead. How can people expect to understand their children well with little time spent with them? (Good paragraph.)

To put it in a nutshell, it is an inescapable fact that parents today do not understand their children as well as parents do 50 years ago. Yet, this is not all bad. Children today are becoming much more independent and more capable of making a living by themselves, which enable them to survive in the competitive society. (I understand you're trying to be well-rounded, but a conclusion should be relevant to the question, summarize your main arguments and clearly state your stand again. This conclusion you have can be problematic because it ends on an entirely different matter - whether the 'understanding' issue in the question is a good thing or not - from the issue itself. This, in terms of a short TOEFL essay, opens up room for argument rather than closes the essay off properly - so I'll say don't do it. Even if you really must do it, remember to GO BACK to the question asked at the very end.)

总结：

语法和词汇没什么大问题，注意一下单复数。

说理很清晰，注意一下每段结尾尽量点题，还有开头结尾的写法。。我觉得在开头你完全有能力稍微深入地挖掘一下题目，但是结尾段请千万注意不要无意中转换话题。另外就是如果题目有要求specific example，那么最好扩充一些例子，但是这个题目似乎没有这个要求，那么现在这样写就可以了。