刘小钢炮的独立作文，get started from jan 26th

lxg198607UID: 2564115

Feb 4th
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology makes people’s lives simpler in turn to make people’s lives more complicated.

Technology probably is one of the most important stuff for people because it is closely related to their daily lives.And we know everything has its two sides.It is the technology that enables people to handle everything with more conveniences while actually it sometimes bring a lot of problems making people's lives more complex.So i basically agree with the statement above.

First of all, i admit that development of technology make people's lives simpler and more comfortable, at the same time make our work more effective. It does influence the way most of our live and work today.We use the internet to look and apply jobs, shops and conduct researches as well as make airline reservations.What is more, refrigerator is invented to cool and preserve the food and washing machine is applied to facilitate people's laundry.


Nevertheless,prosperous advancements of technology meanwhile have presented some problems we have to take them seriously.Faced with so many advanced machines,we may not know how to make them work without enough knowledge.Learning to use these new types of machines is possible to cost us a great deal of time and money.Then an easy thing become more complex and complicated. So it is no wondering an old lady has no idea about a remote control with so many buttons. Besides,if taking countless dangers into considerations,
we will find out we are not living in an easy and comfortable world with high-tech. For example,we are supposed to be very careful when to use these machines because most of them need power to run. While power particularly like electricity is very dangerous if we do not handle it properly.It is reported that every year thousands of people die from the leak of power and electric shock. Therefore,people are forced to obtain more knowledge than their ancestors did to adapt to complex lives, If not, they will be out.

Moreover,not only our material lives are more complex, but our spiritual lives tend to be increasingly complicated.With the aid of technology, we can communicate with friends and colleagues on the internet,however it also create many opportunities for those evil guys. Once we are not careful ,we will be trapped and lose not only money but also feelings. We may hear about a lot of cases that young girls are cheated by their devil net friends and lost their virgins. Consequently we should get the point that the world is not so simple that we should take care in virtual lives .

To sum up,no one is denying the fact people's lives are simple due to technology.But in fact it is obviously to make lives more complicated from both material lives and spiritual lives. We have to achieve more information to be familiar with the use of technology so that we are not injured by it.

mangohahaUID: 2758178

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology makes people’s lives simpler in turn to make people’s lives more complicated.

Technology probably is one of the most important stuff for people because it is closely related to their daily lives.And （建议用but）we know everything has its two sides.It is the technology that enables people to handle everything with more conveniences while actually it sometimes bring a lot of problems making people's lives more complex.So i basically agree with the statement above.4 H; Z3 d9 _+ `; _; O, o. \# v3 `
首段提出同意原文的观点，没什么问题
First of all, i admit that development of technology make people's lives simpler and more comfortable, at the same time make our work more effective. It does influence the way most of our live and work today.We use the internet to look and apply jobs, shops and conduct researches as well as make airline reservations.What is more, refrigerator is invented to cool and preserve the food and washing machine is applied to facilitate people's laundry.$ x( Y3 ]* v, u
本段论证科学在生活中的影响的积极一面，不过建议最后有一句总结性的语言，同时可以使例子和观点更好的连接，使文章更紧凑，争强说服力。

Nevertheless,prosperous advancements of technology meanwhile have presented some problems we have to take them seriously.Faced with so many advanced machines,we may not know how to make them work without enough knowledge.Learning to use these new types of machines is possible to cost us a great deal of time and money.Then an easy thing become more complex and complicated. So it is no wondering an old lady has no idea about a remote control with so many buttons.（这个例子不是很有力，如果想用这个例子，最好说明一下为什么old lady 就不能更好的使用，不然old lady 会有意见的^_^） Besides,if taking countless dangers into considerations,3 z2 [: S9 X8 o+ G, Mwe will find out we are not living in an easy and comfortable world with high-tech. For example,we are supposed to be very careful when to use these machines because most of them need power to run. While power particularly like electricity is very dangerous if we do not handle it properly.It is reported that every year thousands of people die from the leak of power and electric shock. Therefore,people are forced to obtain more knowledge than their ancestors did to adapt to complex lives, If not, they will be out. 4 m0 o9 W3 I# j
（本段的问题主要是例子的问题，其实例子本身没有好坏之分，就看你怎么说，从哪个角度说，说到恰到好处，才能最好的证明你的观点）
Moreover,not only our material lives are more complex, but our spiritual lives tend to be increasingly complicated.With the aid of technology, we can communicate with friends and colleagues on the internet,however it also create many opportunities for those evil guys. Once we are not careful ,we will be trapped and lose not only money but also feelings. We may hear about a lot of cases that young girls are cheated by their devil net friends and lost their virgins. Consequently we should get the point that the world is not so simple that we should take care in virtual lives . （本段是从精神层面加以论证的，所选的角度很好，不过缺少一个更为鲜明的例子，其实可以说，technology has accelerate the rhythm and step of working, which also adds too much deep pressure to human 之类的例子。  ）
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To sum up,no one is denying the fact people's lives are simple due to technology.But in fact it is obviously to make lives more complicated from both material lives and spiritual lives. We have to achieve more information to be familiar with the use of technology so that we are not injured by it.

总的来说，论证没什么问题，在例子的使用上多下功夫，不知道你是否考过GRE作文，如果考过，哪里面应该有很多好例子可以使， 还有如果感觉一段话论证的不是很好，或是例子举的不是能很好的链接，那么各段的总结就是更不能缺少的。至于语言方面因为自己是在是太差了，^_^考G的时候还能给人硬着头皮改一改，经过这两天在这的磨练实在是不敢班门弄斧。。。 继续努力期待自己有一天也能给别人改语法用词上的错误。。。

能力有限，如有说的不对的地方，敬请原谅^_^
也希望您能不吝赐教 fightingO(∩_∩)O哈哈~

slimhUID: 2438517

Technology probably is one of the most important stuff（stuff可以换成别的词么？） for people(human being)  because it is closely related to their daily lives. And we know everything has its(去掉） two sides.It is the technology that enables people to handle everything with more conveniences while actually it sometimes bring a lot of problems making people's lives more complex(complicated).So i basically agree with the statement above.8 ?5 Z" S) ~1

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First of all, i admit that development of technology make people's lives simpler and more comfortable, at the same time make our work more effective. It does influence the way most of our live and work today.We use the internet to look and apply jobs, shops and conduct researches as well as make airline reservations.What is more, refrigerator is invented to cool and preserve the food and washing machine is applied to facilitate people's laundry.

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Nevertheless,prosperous advancements of technology meanwhile have presented some problems we have to take them seriously.Faced with so many advanced machines,we may not know how to make them work without enough knowledge（足够的知识。。enough understanding..吧。。Wide knowledge）.Learning to use these new types of machines is possible to cost us(去掉） a great deal of time and money.Then an easy thing become(加s) more complex and(去掉） complicated. So it is no wondering an old lady has no idea about a remote control with so many buttons. Besides,if taking countless dangers into considerations，we will find out we are not living in an easy and comfortable world with high-tech. For example,we are supposed to be very careful when to use these machines because most of them need (electrical)power to run. While power particularly like electricity is very dangerous if we do not handle it properly.It is reported that every year thousands of people die from the leak of power and electric shock. Therefore,people are forced to obtain more knowledge than their ancestors did to adapt to complex(complicated) lives, If not, they will be out.

Moreover,not only our material lives are more complex(complicated), but our spiritual lives tend to be increasingly complicated.With the aid of technology, we can communicate with friends and colleagues on the internet,however it also create many opportunities for those evil guys. Once we are not careful ,we will be trapped and lose not only money but also feelings. We may hear about a lot of cases that young girls are cheated by their devil net friends and lost their virgins. Consequently we should get the point that the world is not so simple that we should take care in virtual lives . （建议这一段内容换成别的吧，有点勉强）

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To sum up,no one is denying the fact people's lives are simple due to technology.But （去掉）in fact it is obviously to make lives more complicated from both material lives and spiritual lives. We have to achieve more information to be familiar with the use of technology so that we are not injured by it.

总结： 长短运用不错，词汇选择也可以，就是内容方面，第三段有点牵强。。因为这个复合中国国情，不见得修改作文的老外能理解呀。。加油！！

lxg198607UID: 2564115

FEB 6th

As is well known in some democratic countries, everyone has the right to liberty of speech. And of course the teacher is no exception. It is his right to speak whatever they want in the classroom as long as he donot violate the law. Certainly it is legal to express his any viewpoints including social views and political views in class, however, from my point of view,it is unwise for teachers to present their views on these kinds of issues in the classroom, which is based on following two reasons.

First of all, the classroom is a place where students study together and obtain all kinds of knowledge from educators. It is the teacher's responsibility to educate his students to be good men and help them master a good way to study instead of talk about political stuff.i can imagine how terrible it is if the classroom is full of heated debates on social problems that often happen in congress. It is not the way students should be. Also this sort of teacher just do the opposite way a good teacher is supposed to be.

The another reason that i agree with the statement is the teacher do not get any permission from students to talk about this kind of issues.
In another word, He donot even ask students whether they like this kinds of issue. Maybe many students strongly dislike political issues. naturally, the image of politics and social issues in their minds is getting worse and worse.What is more, speaking too much students donot like at all will dampen passions of those students to participate in social activity later.


Moreover, everybody has his own opinion on political issues or social issues. many of students are at least immature in term their political minds.Teacher's views sometimes affect their opinions on these issues.A right political view should not be formed from the teacher's personal opinions but in their own experiences from outside. Or it is likely that some students get their own viewpoints on those issues. Then It is not reasonable to impose the teacher's views on students. Because students are not audiences of political speech. They have a lot more to do in class rather than deal with something that is not proper at this age.

To sum up, i go against the saying that teacher should be showing political views in class since it is not only good for students but for themselves. A good teacher should not forget he is not guider of his students' political views but a important mentor of their studies and personalities.

captainlchUID: 2591903

As is well known in some democratic countries, everyone has the right to liberty of speech. And of course the teacher is no exception. It is his right to speak whatever they want in the classroom as long as he donot violate the law. Certainly it is legal(legitimite) to express his any viewpoints including social views and political views in class, however, from my point of view,it is unwise for teachers to present their views on these kinds of issues in the classroom, which is based on following two reasons.

First of all, the classroom is a place where students study together and obtain all kinds of knowledge from educators. It is the teacher's responsibility to educate his students to be good men and help them master a good way to study instead of talk about political stuff.i can imagine how terrible it is if the classroom is full of heated debates on social problems that often happen in congress. It is not the way students should be. Also this sort of teacher just do the opposite way in which a good teacher is supposed to be.

The another reason that i agree with the statement is the teacher do not get any permission from students to talk about this kind of issues.In another word, He does not even ask students whether they like this kinds of issue. Maybe many students strongly dislike political issues. naturally, the image of politics and social issues in their minds is getting worse and worse.What is more, speaking too much about matters that students donot like at all will dampen passions of those students to participate in social activity later.

Moreover, everybody has his own opinion on political issues or social issues. many  students are at least immature in term their political minds(?I can not understand).Teacher's views sometimes affect their opinions on these issues.A right political view should not be formed from the teacher's personal opinions but in their own experiences from outside. Or it is likely that some students get their own viewpoints on those issues. Then It is not reasonable to impose the teacher's views on students. Because students are not audiences of political speech. They have a lot more to do in class rather than deal with something that is not proper at this age.

To sum up, i go against the saying that teacher should be showing political views in class since(最好用because of,since 放在句首，否则产生歧义) it is not only good for students but for themselves. A good teacher should not forget he is not guider of his students' political views but a important mentor of their studies and personalities.

captainlchUID: 2591903

感觉作者考虑一下在陈述观点后应该写什么，我读过一篇文章说提出主体后应该写specifics，也就是事实，而不是通过理论和推理来对这个题目进行解释。可供作者参考

lxg198607UID: 2564115

哈，一般是会通过举例子来陈述事实的，只不过这题目实在不熟悉，举不出例子， 只能陈述理由了。。

arlenezxyUID: 2487145

As is well known in some democratic countries, everyone has the right to liberty of speech(to the freedom of speech) And of course the teacher is no exception. It is his right to speak whatever they (he)want in the classroom as long as he donot violate the law. Certainly it is legal to express his any viewpoints including social views and political views in class, however, from my point of view,it is unwise for teachers to present their views on these kinds of issues in the classroom, which is based on following two reasons.
First of all, the classroom is a place where students study together and obtain all kinds of knowledge from educators. It is the teacher's responsibility to educate his students to be good men and help them master a good way to study instead of talk about political stuff.i can imagine how terrible it is if the classroom is full of heated debates on social problems that often happen in congress. It is not the way students should be. Also this sort of teacher just do the opposite way a good teacher is supposed to be.

The another reason that i agree with the statement is the teacher do not get any permission from students to talk about this kind of issues.( In another word, He donot even ask students whether they like this kinds of issue. Maybe many students strongly dislike political issues. naturally, the image of politics and social issues in their minds is getting worse and worse.What is more, speaking too much students donot like at all will dampen passions of those students to participate in social activity later.


Moreover, everybody has his own opinion on political issues or social issues. many of students are at least immature in term (of) their political minds.Teacher's views sometimes affect their opinions on these issues.A right political view should not be formed from the teacher's personal opinions but in their own experiences from outside. Or it is likely that some students get their own viewpoints on those issues. Then It is not reasonable to impose the teacher's views on students. Because students are not audiences of political speech. They have a lot more to do in class rather than deal with something that is not proper at this age.:

To sum up, i go against the saying that teacher should be showing political views in class since it is not only good for students but for themselves(这个not only..but also 用在这里意思 就反了) . A good teacher should not forget he is not guider of his students' political views but a important mentor of their studies and personalities.


首先对我昨天没有按时改作业表示道歉，在火车上，今天上午刚到家。
关于着篇文章，我感觉这个题目比较难写，如果没有很好的切入点的话容易牵强，我自己写的时候也是这样，所也大概也是lz没有什么例子的原因。建议你看看这方面的其他英文文章启发思路，毕竟这个方面的主题平时练到的不多。
关于语言，许多句式还不够nature,虽然感觉没有太明显的语法错误，但总觉得读起来怪怪的，是不是我自己的问题？

lxg198607UID: 2564115

Over the past ten years,creative ideas have been paid much attentions in some developing countries especially like china, as it is a truth that innovation is a kind of great power and very important to nations' comprehensive strength. With these creations, they may finally catch up with those developed countries. However, they might underestimate the part of careful planning.Although i admit creative thoughts mean a lot to the solution of a problem, planning carefully is equally essential.So we can not work out a problem without either of them.

First of all, being creative indeed come up with some good solutions that we can not think out by traditional methods.Since today's problems are so complicated that we may not use old methods to handle them. Old and obsolete ideas will narrow our visions to prevent our progresses. But if we see them from a new perspective, maybe a better answer will come out. For example, Yuan Longping,a Chinese scientist,is well recognized as "the father of hybrid rice" . As is well known, Just four decades years ago, food problem is one of most serious ones in the world. Top scientist did not see any improvement in rice production with the regular technique we know as "pure rice".It is this great man inventing the new type of rice the way that many experts on agriculture all over the world never had thought. And this technique greatly increased the production of rice, solving the big problem which troubles many authorities for so long.There are a lot of cases like this, therefore it is glad to see so many accomplishments that creative idea can bring.In light of these wonders, there is no room for doubt about the fact that creative thoughts are of great importance.

Nevertheless, what can we achieve without careful planning?people know a thorough planning is a necessary step to the success, making sure everything would happen the way they thought it would. Taking every details possible into account, we will be closer to successes. So it is easy to follow even if we have creative ideas, we may not accomplish anything because of some details we have not considered.I want to take a example above to explain further.It is really good for Mr. yuan to have a creative idea.while it does not make any sense if he just hastened to put forward his immature technique rather than think out every step carefully. Then perhaps no one would benefit from his creation.

To sum up,we should combine both of them well to figure out problems because both of them are very important.

小心littleheartUID: 2726034

Over the past ten years, creative ideas have been paid much attentions (have arisen much attentions 如何？) in some developing countries especially like China, as it is a truth that innovation is a kind of great power and very important to nations' comprehensive strength. With these creations, they may finally catch up with those developed countries. However, they might underestimate the part of careful planning. Although I admit creative thoughts mean a lot to the solution of a problem, planning carefully is equally essential. So we cannot work out a problem without either of them.（开头很好，观点很明确~）

First of all, being creative indeed come up with some good solutions that we cannot think out by traditional methods. Since today's problems are so complicated that we may not use old methods to handle them. Old and obsolete ideas will narrow our visions to prevent our progresses. But if we see them from a new perspective, maybe a better answer will come out. For example, Yuan Longping, a Chinese scientist, is well recognized as "the father of hybrid rice”. As is well known, Just four decades years ago, food problem is one of（the）most serious ones in the world. Top scientists did not see any improvement in rice production with the regular technique we know as "pure rice”. It is this great man inventing the new type of rice the way (加上the way以后好像句子有些读不通啊~~，哦，明白了，你是要和后面的on连用？) that many experts on agriculture all over the world never had thought. And this technique greatly increased the production of rice, solving the big problem which troubles many authorities for so long. There are a lot of cases like this, therefore it is glad to see so many accomplishments that creative ideas can bring. In light of these wonders, there is no room for doubt about the fact that creative thoughts are of great importance（significance如何？）.0 i9 ^: p' ^6 D" g/ C3 F
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Nevertheless, what can we achieve without careful planning? people know a thorough planning is a necessary step to the success, making sure everything would happen the way they thought it would. Taking every detail possible (这两个词位置换一下吧~) into account, we will be closer to successes（the success更好些吧~）. So it is easy to follow even if we have creative ideas, we may not accomplish anything because of some details we have not considered. I want to take a (an) example above to explain further.It is really good for Mr. yuan to have a creative idea. While it does not make any sense if he just hastened to put forward his immature technique rather than think out every step carefully. Then perhaps no one would benefit from his creation.

To sum up, we should combine both of them well to figure out problems because both of them are very important.
楼主写的挺不错的，思路很清晰，结构很明确，词汇也很丰富~~不愧考过g啊~呵呵~~黄色是我觉得值得学习的地方~但是读完你第一段，我没有意识到你要认为两个同等重要，直到最后一段才知道的，所以如果第一段说的更明确些，可能更好~~我水平也有限，如果改错了，麻烦告诉我一下~O(∩_∩)O~

ivybettyUID: 2328308

Over the past ten years,creative ideas have been paid much attentions in some developing countries especially like china（China）, as it is a truth that innovation is a kind of great power and very important to nations' comprehensive strength. With these creations, they may finally catch up with those developed countries. However, they might underestimate the part of careful planning.Although i(I) admit creative thoughts mean a lot to the solution of a problem, planning carefully is equally essential.So we can not work out a problem without either of them.) ^- k7 [6 ]7 D

First of all, being creative indeed comes up with some good solutions that we can not think out by traditional methods.Since today's problems are so complicated that we may not(are unable to) use old methods to handle them. Old and obsolete(学习了) ideas will narrow our visions to prevent our progresses（请教进步有没有复数形式？）. But if we see them from a new perspective, maybe a better answer will come out. For example, Yuan Longping,a Chinese scientist,is well recognized as "the father of hybrid rice" . As is well known, Just four decades years ago, food problem is one of most serious ones in the world. Top scientist did not see any improvement in rice production with the regular technique we know as "pure rice".It is this great man inventing the new type of rice the way that many experts on agriculture all over the world never had thought. And this technique greatly increased the production of rice, solving the big problem which troubles many authorities for so long.There are a lot of cases like this, therefore it is glad to see so many accomplishments that creative idea can bring.In light of these wonders, there is no room for doubt about the fact that creative thoughts are of great importance.' K5 j- c. J' H, T5 v% \6 g
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Nevertheless, what can we achieve without careful planning?people know a thorough planning is a necessary step to the(感觉应该去掉) success, making sure everything would happen the way they thought it would. Taking every details possible into account, we will be closer to successes（与progress同问？）. So it is easy to follow even if we have creative ideas, we may not accomplish anything because of some details we have not considered.I want to take a example above to explain further.It is really good for Mr. yuan to have a creative idea.while it does not make any sense if he just hastened to put forward his immature technique rather than think out every step carefully. Then perhaps no one would benefit from his creation.
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To sum up,we should combine both of them well to figure out problems because both of them are very important.
1.文章结构紧凑，举例生动。
2.是不是要说明下对于题目是disagree的？
3.第二段开头用First of all,感觉下文可能至少有三点，有没有更好的衔接词？