eddie的独立作文 1.27

eddie23508okUID: 2281260

1.27 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.

Should the governments spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics? If someone offers an answer "yes", he or she may hold the position that arts are more important than sports. For my part, I think people with this point of view are too hasty to consider the case comprehensively so that they draw an over-absolute conclusion. Whether government should spend more money on arts or sports depend on case-by-case analysis.

Firstly, it is not deniable that art plays an important role in people's life, which can never be omitted. Arts, as the medium of human civilization, provide us enjoyable visual appreciation like painting, "delicious" acoustic feast like music and windows for communication with prominents and intelligents like literature. It not only enlightens us with the proper judgment of beauty but also arouses our inside desire to pursue good things.

Secondly, sports are also something equally necessary in people's life. In the modern society, sports, unlike its original purpose of building up healthy body, own multiple meanings these days and affect people's life in many aspects. For common people, they treat sports as entertainments and the way to get rid of diseases. For the country, state-sponsored sports teams represent the living and competitive condition of the people. They tell the rest of the world how strong their nations are in the world sports affairs like Olympic games. Therefore, sports deserves a equally important status as arts.

However people should not simply conclude that government should spend more money on any of these two affairs by judging their importance, because, as mentioned above, they share the same opinion in the general scale. Whether the government should support arts or sports financially rests on the condition of the nation. If the arts are in a poor condition, government should spend more money on it and for sports, vice verse. Arts help to improve people mentally and sports help to improve people physically. A nation with both mental and physical mightiness can be called real strong.

To sum up, the issue in the topic draws the conclusion too hastily. To comprehensive illustrate this argument, case-by-case analysis is required.

shirley072UID: 2712200

写这个题目我真的是写着写着就写不下去了。。
我是特地赶过来学习滴:)

小心littleheartUID: 2726034

Should the governments spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics? If someone offers an answer "yes", he or she may hold the position (opinion) that arts are more important than sports. For my part, I think people with this point of view are too hasty to consider the case comprehensively so that they draw an over-absolute（没见过这种用法，可改成one-sided） conclusion. Whether government should spend more money on arts or sports depend on case-by-case analysis.语言不错，可是第一段最好摆明立场，你可能参照了李笑来老师的高分作文的开头模式，但是我个人认为在考场上这种结构还是不可取的，老外可没时间在这跟你捉迷藏，他希望快速找到你的主题和分论点。

Firstly, it is not deniable (undeniable) that art plays an important role in people's life, which can never be omitted. Arts, as the medium of human civilization, provide us (with) enjoyable visual appreciation (enjoyment) like painting, "delicious" acoustic feast like music and windows for communication with prominent and elegant (加art works) like literature. It not only enlightens us with the proper judgment of beauty but also arouses our inside desire to pursue good things.（Art is not only involved in guiding us, in modulating our personality, it can also arouse our desire to pursue high culture）
Secondly, sports are also something equally necessary in people's life. In the modern society, sports, unlike (not just owning) its original purpose of building up healthy body, own (have) multiple meanings (purposes) these days and affect people's life in many aspects. For common people, they treat sports as entertainments and the way to get rid of (avoid) diseases. For a country, state-sponsored sports teams represent the living and competitive condition of the people. (这句话读不通啊，the ability of a stated-sponsored sports team can well demonstrate the living condition of local people ) They tell the rest of the world how strong their nations are in the world sports affairs like Olympic games. Therefore, sports deserves a equally important status as arts.(这只能体现出体育的重要性，但并不能说明他与art的同等重要)

However people should not simply conclude that government should spend more money on any of these two affairs by judging their importance (逻辑有些问题。因为如果要判断，只能根据重要性啊) because, as mentioned above, they share the same opinion (position) in the general scale. (The matter that )Whether the government should support arts or sports financially rests on the （self-）condition of the nation. If the arts are in a poor condition, government should spend more money on it and for sports, vice verse（versa）. Arts help to improve (promote) people mentally and sports help to improve people physically. A nation with both mental and physical mightiness can be called real strong.（这些内容应该放到最后一段，再次重申主题，）

To sum up, the issue in the topic draws the conclusion too hastily. (In order to)To comprehensive illustrate this argument, case-by-case analysis is required.
个人觉得这篇文章好像主题不太鲜明，语言还行，有些地方有点典型的中文直译过去的感觉。不足之处请谅解~呵呵~

皇甫秋荻UID: 2638790

Should the governments spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics? If someone offers an answer "yes", he or she may hold the position that arts are more important than sports. For my part, I think people with this point of view are too hasty to consider the case comprehensively so that they draw an over-absolute conclusion. Whether government should spend more money on arts or sports depend on case-by-case analysis.-------建议“看门见山”

Firstly, it is not deniable that art plays an important role in people's life, which can never be omitted. Arts, as the medium of human civilization, provide us enjoyable visual appreciation like painting, "delicious" acoustic feast like music and windows for communication with prominents（prominent） and intelligents（intelligent） like literature.（这个排比不错） It not only enlightens us with the proper judgment of beauty but also arouses our inside desire to pursue good things.

Secondly, sports are also something equally necessary in people's life. In the modern society, sports, unlike its original purpose of building up healthy body, own multiple meanings these days and affect people's life in many aspects. For common people, they treat sports as entertainments and the way to get rid of diseases. For the country, state-sponsored sports teams represent（用illustrat较好） the living and competitive condition of the people. They tell（It tells） the rest of the world how strong their nations are in the world sports affairs like Olympic games. Therefore, sports deserves a equally important status as arts（此句不能代表体育与arts同等重要，除非前面有提及~）.

However people should not simply conclude that government should spend more money on any of these two affairs by judging their importance, because, as mentioned above, they share the same opinion in the general scale. Whether the government should support arts or sports financially rests on the condition of the nation. If the arts are in a poor condition, government should spend more money on it and for sports, vice verse. Arts helps to improve people mentally and sports help to improve people physically. A nation with both mental and physical mightiness can be called real strong.

To sum up, the issue in the topic draws the conclusion too hastily. To comprehensive illustrate this argument, case-by-case analysis is required--------.不建议直接批判主题，只要表明个人观点就行啦~

总结：文章语言很优美！
但是第四段应该直接阐明arts的优点。虽然eddie认为两者同等重要，但是看过通篇作文觉得，还是偏重sports多！~
加油！^@^

小心littleheartUID: 2726034

1# eddie23508ok 麻烦楼主帮忙改一下我1.27号的作业吧~呵呵~~先谢了~