ISSUE 习作 by importalyu

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issue36

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1058270&extra=

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issue 50

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."（413）

How can a teacher gives students enlightening and vivid courses without enough experience of practical subjects? How can a teacher gives students efficient and effective suggestion about career-plan if he do not engage in that field? It is a good idea to let teachers spending time working outside academia in order to enrich their professional experience. It is also an excellent approach to set the quality of a school apart from others.

The traditional textbooks emphasize so much on basic theories that ignores how to apply and what should be noted in the practical work. Thus, those teachers who have professional experience compensate this flaw by their courses. This is especially true in the architecture, machine engine, computer science and other fields close associated with practical application, teachers' guidance decides the effect of introduction. Moreover, experienced teachers are responsible to point out the mistakes encounting in application. For example, one experienced teacher can tell some new theories are specious, meaning these theories are proved excellent in mathematically but hard to attain.

The professor with field experience is better able to help students adjust from campus to the job market. In my view, teachers who with fresh insights and a contagious excitement about the subject at hand are readily attract students' interest to field. Moreover, by keeping abreast of the changing demands of work as a professional, professors inform students useful suggestions about career-planning which lead students make rational decisions and endow them brighter future.

However, going too far is as bad as not far enough, meaning too much time and energy spend on outside academic world may cause bad effect. First, teacher may do not have enough time preparing the class he take next day if other matters share too much time. Second, as the Socrates said “Find out the spark that God put in every heart, and only by this can you kindle the light", the purpose of education is enlighten students, not just help them find job. Teacher who does not have time to study theory profoundly cannot burden this duty. Thus, teachers must balance the time they put in academic world and on professional work outside the school.

In sum, working outside the academic world in professions not only broaden teachers' mind, but also entail them experience and ability to guide some students to pursue the field as a career. However, too much work distracts their attention on understanding of theory deeperly and may disobey the essential purpose of education.

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3# importalyu
作文修改
How can a teacher gives students enlightening and vivid courses without enough experience of practical subjects? How can a teacher gives students efficient and effective suggestion about career-plan if he do not engage in that field? It is a good idea to let teachers spending time working outside academia in order to enrich their professional experience. It is also an excellent approach to set the quality of a school apart from others.（我觉得提问式的开头不是很formal， 而且从第一大段不能够得出你整一篇的大观点，后面你提到一个however，在第一段没有讲到。而且你也没有很明确提到你对题目观点的看法。）
（没有中心句，对后面那个moreover要递进的是哪个层面的意思不是很明确。）The traditional textbooks emphasize so much on basic theories that （they）ignores how to apply and what should be noted in the practical work. Thus, those teachers who have professional experience compensate this flaw by(?) their courses. This is especially true in the(the去掉) architecture, machine engine（确定表达正确？）, computer science and other fields close associated with practical application, teachers' guidance decides（have great impact on,我觉得decide这个词有点太绝对） the effect of introduction（我觉得好像表述还不是很具体，为什么会有老师的guidance会Decide? 作为读者，读完之后不是很清楚。）. Moreover, experienced teachers are responsible to point out the mistakes encounting in application. For example, one experienced teacher can tell some new theories are specious, meaning these theories are proved excellent in mathematically but hard to attain. （语法错误，不明白表达的意思。）

The professor with field experience is better able to help students adjust from campus to the job market（is able to help students adjust….market better）. In my view,(上新东方的时候老师说，最好不要出现“我”这些词，显得不够正式，而且只是我的方法，不够具有说服力。) teachers who with fresh insights and a contagious excitement about the subject at hand are readily attract （语法错误）students' interest to field. Moreover（可以换个词，比如furthermore, besides, in addition，不要总用同一个词）, by keeping abreast of the changing demands of work as a professional, professors inform students useful suggestions about career-planning which lead students（to）make rational decisions and endow them brighter future.

However, going too far is as bad as not far enough, meaning too much time and energy spend on outside academic world may cause (some) bad effect. First, teacher may do(去掉) not have enough time preparing the class he take（老师不是Take，而是give吧？）next day if other matters share too much time. Second, as the Socrates said “Find out the spark that God put in every heart, and only by this can you kindle the light", the purpose of education is （to）enlighten students, not just help them find (a) job. Teacher who does not have time to study theory profoundly cannot burden this duty(这一句跟前一句的逻辑有点乱，有点奇怪。跳跃性太大). Thus, teachers must balance the time they put in academic world and on professional work outside the（去掉）school.

In sum, working outside the academic world in professions not only broaden teachers' mind, but also entail them experience and ability to guide some students to pursue the field as a career. However, too much work distracts their attention on understanding of theory deeperly（deeper） and may disobey the essential purpose of education.
总体感觉：
1、
由于缺少主题句，使得每个段落的逻辑不是很清楚，段落之间的逻辑也不是很清楚。
2、
句子之间的逻辑跳跃性太大。
3、
表述上有些语法小错误。
4、
有例子加以论证，但是总体上论据比较缺乏。
呵呵，不过觉得你现在已经能写成这样好厉害了，比我好很多了呢……我要加油努力了……

importalyuUID: 2404583

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."（494）

How can a teacher gives students enlightening and vivid courses without enough experience of practice? How can a teacher gives students efficient and effective suggestion about career-plan if he do not engage in that field? I fundamentally agree speaker’s assertion that teachers should spend time working outside academia in order to enrich their professional experience, improve the quality of education and better guide students’career plan. However, the side influence brought by this approach should come into attention.

Teachers with professional experience are able to combine theories with practise. The traditional textbooks emphasize so much on proving and deducting basic theories that ignores the difference between practical situation and mathematic condition. Thus, those teachers who have professional experience compensate this flaw in their courses by explain how to apply theory in the practical work. This is especially true in architecture, Engineering, computer science and other fields close associated with practical application, teachers' guidance have great impact on the effect of understanding. For example, as my experience of student, espacially during the experiment, this kind of teachers can efficient point out the mistakes encounting in experiment, because they are informed and seasoned in this field.

The professor with field experience is able to help students adjust from campus to the job market better. In my view, teachers who with fresh insights and a contagious excitement about the subject at hand attract students' interest to field readily. Besides, by keeping abreast of the changing demands in job market as a professional, professors inform students useful suggestions in the period of education and job-huinting, such as pointing out which technology will be mainstream and what kind of book is suitable to fresh man. In addition, because they have experience dealing with complex relationship in the company, they set a role model for students and remind students what should be notice in preparation for job.

However, going too far is as bad as not far enough, meaning too much time and energy spend on outside academic world may cause some bad effect. First, teacher not have enough time preparing the class he give next day if other matters share too much time. Second, as the Socrates said “Find out the spark that God put in every heart, and only by this can you kindle the light", the purpose of education is to enlighten students, not just help them find job. Thereby teachers should understand theories deeply and explain them precisely, but those who do not have time to study theory profoundly cannot burden this duty. Thus, teachers must balance the time they put in academic world and outside.

In sum, working outside the academic world in professions not only broaden teachers' mind and improve understanding of course but also entail them experience and ability to guide some students both in the classes and in the job market. However, too much work may distract their attention on teaching result in disobey the essential purpose of education.

importalyuUID: 2404583

说真的，我觉自己语法很差，所有表示总称的名词都用的复数。
哎，更快看看语法书