【Clover】第二次作业 Iuuse2——Julymay

JulymayUID: 2645085

243.The true value of a civilization is reflected in its artistic creations rather than in its scientific accomplishments.



France shows its romance by its literatures; Spain shows its colorful imagination by its architectures; America shows its creativity by its movies. People appreciate the three civilizations above because of their amazing artistic creations. In other words, the value of a civilization is, in a way, probably reflected in its achievements on art rather than on science.

To be honest, both the art and the science are playing important part in promoting the development of a civilization. While the scientific advancement is making the communications more and more conveniently, the level of productivity higher and higher, and the way to get information more and more massive, the art is thought to be a mirror that reflects the evil and the glorious of the contemporary era, a steering wheel that affects the direction of public's thoughts, and a kaleidoscope in which concentrating all the histories. But as is mentioned to reflecting the value of the civilization, may be the art play an important role than the science does.



First of all, what the art stands for is closer to the value of civilization. Artistic creations set lights upon the temperament, characteristic and the customs of a civilization, which are just the spots that a civilization concentrates on. Moreover, the value of a civilization does point to which is psychological and humanistic. And, art is a widespread media to contain and transmit them. On the contrary, the science can just mirror the ability of scientific research, unconcernedly and objectively.

Secondly, art can last a longer time than science does. Maybe an exciting breakthrough of science will bring flashing adorations, but once the breakthrough was replaced by a new one, or the fruits of the breakthrough were applied widely in the world, these adorations will fade. On the contract, the uniqueness and the particularity of an artwork make it impossible to be transcended or replaced. Like the luxury of the dome of Florence Cathedral has being praised so far, but the technology of the construction, which was thought to be a great breakthrough in the Renaissance, has been stopped using for a long time, art can hand down for a long time, but the science can not.

Today, while we are satisfied by the massive scientific accomplishments we achieved,
we need slow down our rate and think out if we should attempt to the art so as to leave something that can hand down to the generations.

misirUID: 2684938

243.The true value of a civilization is reflected in its artistic creations rather than in its scientific accomplishments.
France shows its romance by its literatures; Spain shows its colorful imagination by its architectures; America shows its creativity by its movies. People appreciate the three civilizations above because of their amazing artistic creations. In other words, the value of a civilization is, in a way, probably reflected in its achievements on art rather than on science. 开头挺新颖的吖~

To be honest, both the art and the science are playing important parts in promoting the development of a civilization. While the scientific advancement is making the communications more and more conveniently, the level of productivity[不知生产力水平是否是这样表达的，网上查到是productivity levels] higher and higher, and the way to get information more and more massive[这个词好像不恰当], the art is thought to be a mirror that reflects the evil and the glorious of the contemporary era, a steering wheel that affects[我觉得用control比较好] the direction of public's thoughts, and a kaleidoscope万花筒in which concentrating all the histories. But as is mentioned to reflecting the value of the civilization, may be[maybe?] the art play an important role than the science does[前面是play,为何后面变成了does？].文笔确实不错，还用上了比喻的手法。。。

First of all, what the art stands for is closer to the value of civilization. Artistic creations set lights upon the temperaments, characteristics and the customs of a civilization, which are just the spots that a civilization concentrates on. Moreover, the value of a civilization does point to which is psychological and humanistic. And, art is a widespread media to contain and transmit them. On the contrary, the science can just mirror the ability of scientific research, unconcernedly(这点你没能说服我。。。) and objectively.
Secondly, art can last a longer time than science does[不确定这里的can是否管到那个does]. Maybe an exciting breakthrough of science will bring flashing adorations, but once the breakthrough was replaced by a new one, or the fruits of the breakthrough were applied widely in the world, these adorations will fade. On the contract, the uniqueness and the particularity of an artwork make it impossible to be transcended or replaced. Like the luxury of the dome of Florence Cathedral has being praised so far, but the technology of the construction, which was thought to be a great breakthrough in the Renaissance, has[had?] been stopped using for a long time, art can hand down for a long time, but the science can not.
Today, while we are satisfied by[with?] the massive scientific accomplishments we achieved,
we need slow down our rate and think out if we should attempt to[focus on?] the art so as to leave something that can hand down to the generations.
总的来说你的文笔不错，赞个~很会用连词，赞个~比较也做足了，再赞下~
缺点是没提到题目中的“true”。我觉得出题者有让我们针对“true”做讨论的意思。。。
个人意见，仅供参考~
By Misir~
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
严重掉色。。。你下载PDF看吧~

JulymayUID: 2645085

第一遍修改完毕~

关于misir所说的“true”的问题，因为我也不太确定，所以希望下一位改文的大人也提出自己的看法~好咩？


France shows its romance by its literatures; Spain shows its colorful imagination by its architectures; America shows its creativity by its movies. People appreciate the three civilizations above because of their amazing artistic creations. In other words, the value of a civilization is, in a way, probably reflected in its achievements on art rather than on science.

To be honest, both the art and the science are playing important parts in promoting the development of a civilization. While the scientific advancement is making the communications more and more conveniently, the level of productivity[不知生产力水平是否是这样表达的，网上查到是productivity levels] higher and higher, and the way to get information more and more varied, the art is thought to be a mirror that reflects the evil and the glorious of the contemporary era, a steering wheel that control the direction of public's thoughts, and a kaleidoscope in which concentrating all the histories. But as is mentioned to reflecting the value of the civilization, maybe the art play an important role than the science do.


First of all, what the art stands for is closer to the value of civilization. Artistic creations set lights upon the temperaments, characteristics and the customs of a civilization, which are just the spots that a civilization concentrates on. Moreover, the value of a civilization does point to which is psychological and humanistic. And, art is a widespread media to contain and transmit them. On the contrary, the science can just mirror the ability of scientific research objectively.

Secondly, art can last a longer time than science can. Maybe an exciting breakthrough of science will bring flashing adorations, but once the breakthrough was replaced by a new one, or the fruits of the breakthrough were applied widely in the world, these adorations will fade. On the contract, the uniqueness and the particularity of an artwork make it impossible to be transcended or replaced. Like the luxury of the dome of Florence Cathedral has being praised so far, but the technology of the construction, which was thought to be a great breakthrough in the Renaissance, has[had?] been stopped using for a long time, art can hand down for a long time, but the science can not.


Today, while we are satisfied with the massive scientific accomplishments we achieved, we need slow down our rate and think out if we should attempt to[focus on?] the art so as to leave something that can hand down to the generations.

黑竹UID: 2753377

第一遍修改完毕~ 关于misir所说的“true”的问题，因为我也不太确定，所以希望下一位改文的大人也提出自己的看法~好咩？ 我觉得true不是关键词，关键词在艺术more than 科学技术 France shows its romance by its literatures; Spain shows its colorful imagination by its architectures; America shows its creativity by its movies. People appreciate the three civilizations above because of their amazing artistic creations. In other words, the value of a civilization is, in a way, probably reflected in its achievements on art rather than on science. To be honest, both the art and the science are playing important parts in promoting the development of a civilization. While the scientific advancement is making the communications more and more conveniently, the level of productivity[不知生产力水平是否是这样表达的，网上查到是productivity levels] higher and higher, and the way to get information more and more varied, the art is thought to be（regarded as可能更地道） a mirror that reflects the evil and the glorious of the contemporary era, a steering wheel that control the direction of public's thoughts, and a kaleidoscope in which concentrating（这个词我不确定对不对） all the histories. But as is mentioned to reflecting the value of the civilization, maybe the art play an （加个more）important role than the science do. First of all, what the art stands for is closer to the value of civilization. Artistic creations set lights upon the temperaments, characteristics and the customs of a civilization, which are just the spots that a civilization concentrates on. Moreover, the value of a civilization does point to which（用what，what=that which，这里语法上好像不能直接用which，因为point to 后面要加个宾语吧，好像是这样，我记不太清了） is psychological and humanistic. And, art is a widespread media to contain and transmit them. On the contrary, the science can just mirror the ability of scientific research objectively. Secondly, art can last a longer time than science can（可以省略这个）. Maybe an exciting breakthrough of science will bring flashing adorations, but once the breakthrough was replaced by a new one, or the fruits of the breakthrough were applied widely in the world, these adorations will fade. On the contract（拼写错误）, the uniqueness and the particularity of an artwork make it impossible to be transcended or replaced. Like the luxury of the dome of Florence Cathedral has being praised so far, but the technology of the construction, which was thought to be a great breakthrough in the Renaissance, has[had?用had因为是过去的事了] been stopped using for a long time, art can hand down for a long time, but the science can not. Today, while we are satisfied with the massive scientific accomplishments we achieved, we need slow down our rate（pace步伐，rate是比率、利率、速率等） and think out（about） if we should attempt to[attempt to do试图做某事，focus on集中精力做某事，用focus on好一些] the art so as to leave something that can hand down to the generations（这样表达which can be handed down from one generation to another，可能更好）. 这篇文章开头写的很有创意，整篇文章比上一篇有很大进步，语言准确了很多，语法错误也少了，有进步啊