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[a习作temp] [Clover] Argument2 by 辰 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-2-4 05:02:39 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 missingusa 于 2010-2-8 03:15 编辑

2. The following appeared in a letter sent by a committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres.

"Seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Since then, average property values have tripled in Brookville. In order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, we should adopt our own set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting."

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Grounding on the fact that average property values of Brookville have tripled after the local community adopted a set of restrictions on how the community’s yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted seven years ago, and then making the hypothesis that the same situation will happen to Deerhaven Acres as well, the author hastily draws the conclusion that Deerhaven Acres should adopt their own set of restrictions on landscaping housepainting in order to raise property values.

However, the author obviously has overlooked other alternatives that have caused the increase in the property values. Firstly, for example, maybe the same method is not so effective as it used to be seven years ago. It is possible that this idea was original and inspiring enough at that time to attract the retail traders to open stores or malls there, making the place a crowded shopping centre step by step, thus gave the values of properties a boost. And here the second alternative comes. Perhaps it is not the restrictions but some other reasons such as the developing business earning that have enabled Brookville to achieve the success in property values. Hence the author should consider the reasons of the increase in essence. All roads lead to Rome. Therefore, to adopt the restriction probably is not the only way to gain higher values, and, for instance, to improve the traffic condition by hiring more pointsmen and consequently attract traders to think of bringing their goods to Deerhaven Acres for sales may be a feasible way. In conclusion, the author needs to find out the essential way which meets the goal of Deerhaven Acres to make his suggestion reasonable.

In addition, it is also not so wise to adopt the Brookville-style restrictions in regardless of the difference between these two districts. It is possible that this action may cause nothing but an unexpected disaster because the people in this area do not know how to landscape the yards and paint colors the exteriors of homes in a proper way as those in Brookville did. Consequently it might cost much to purchase a large amount of paint and make little profits for not looking the way it should be to get traders or other opportunities. And additionally, even if the author is sure that this kind of action is able to bring an increase in values, the other homeowners may disagree on it and give other suggestions which looks much better they think. In this case, the author had better adjust his suggestions in some aspects to ensure that the other committees will accept it.

To sum up, the suggestion should be submitted before the problems discussed above have been solved, including the differences between the two district and the two period of time and so forth. In addition, it is equally important that whether Deerhaven Acres is worth getting profits by increasing the average property values. Perhaps to develop tourism resources is another good idea to achieve the same goal. Anyway, it depends.
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沙发
发表于 2010-2-6 13:27:56 |只看该作者
改好了哈~~see see~

辰-A2-by 七七夕夕.doc

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missingusa + 2 谢谢暖暖, 辛苦了^^

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板凳
发表于 2010-2-7 03:49:15 |只看该作者
2. The following appeared in a letter sent by a committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres.

"Seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Since then, average property values have tripled in Brookville. In order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, we should adopt our own set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting."

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Grounding on the fact that average property values of Brookville have tripled after the local community adopted a set of(a series of) restrictions on how the community’s yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted seven years ago, and then making the hypothesis that the same situation will happen to Deerhaven Acres as well, the author hastily(curtly) draws the conclusion(summary) that Deerhaven Acres should adopt(adjust A to B) their own set of restrictions on landscaping housepainting in order to raise property values.

However, the author obviously has overlooked other alternatives that have caused the increase(escalation) in the property values. Firstly(for a start), for example(instance), maybe(perhaps) the same method is not so(lose its power) effective as it used to be seven years ago. It is (+entirely) possible that this idea was original用在这里,我看不懂你想表达的意思 and inspiring(inspiring感觉是用于激发灵感的,所以还是encouraging比较好) enough at that time to attract the retail traders to open stores or malls there, making the place a crowded shopping centre step by step(bit by bit), thus gave the values of properties a boost(boost the values of properties tremendously). And here the second alternative comes.(这样的句子放在argu里面好吗?我个人觉得不是很好。) Perhaps it is not the restrictions(第一段用过了,limitation but some other reasons such as the(去掉) developing business earningincome that have enabled Brookville to achieve the success in property values. Hence the author should considerreckonregardthinkdeem
the reasons of the increase
upswing in essence. All roads lead to Rome.(这句能用在argu里?我个人觉得太中式了。虽然表达式英式的) Therefore, to adopt(这里用adopting比较好)
the restriction
confinement
probably is not the only way to gain
obtain
higher values, and, for instance
Just take an example, to improve the traffic condition by hiring more pointsmen不懂 and consequently attract traders to think of(去掉)
bringing their goods to Deerhaven Acres for sales may be a feasible way. In conclusion
as a suggestionI think, the author needs to find outfigure out the essential way which meets the goal of Deerhaven Acres to make his suggestion reasonablerationalize the advice.

In addition, it is also not so wise to adopt the Brookville-style restrictionsastriction in regardless of the difference between these two districts. It is possible thatit might be the case that this action may cause nothing but an unexpected disaster becausein that the people in this areathe local people do not knowhave no idea about how to landscape the yards and paint colors the exteriors of homes(直接用color作为动词,或者paint作为动词不就好了?color the residential profile in a proper way as those in Brookville did. Consequently(前面用过了吧,ultimately或者finallyat lastto the end都可以的)
it might cost much to purchase a large amount of paint and make little profits for not looking the way it should be
as intentioned originally to getobtain traders or other opportunities. And additionallymoreoverwhats more都可以,addition在第二分段开头已经用了), even if the author is sureascertain that thissuch kind of actionbehaviormeasurestep is able to bring an increase inincurexcitecatalystmotivatestimulate values, the (去掉)other homeowners may disagree on it and give other suggestionsproposal which looksseems much better +than they think. In this case, the author had better adjustalter his suggestions in some aspects, argu里面最好把suggestion的具体形式写清楚比较好吧 to ensure that the other committees will accept it.

To sum up, the suggestion should be submitted before the problems discussed above have been solved, including the differences between the two district and the two period of time and so forth. In addition(替换), it is equally important that whether Deerhaven Acres is(去掉,否则后面用worthy
worth getting profits
benefit by increasing the average property values. Perhaps to develop tourism resources is another good idea to achieve the same goalalsoameliorating resources in tourism could be an intelligent idea in realizing the target. Anyway, it depends.最后一句也太过分了吧,ets肯定给你低分。这是口语表达。


                                                                                 修改 by 银落

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地板
发表于 2010-2-7 03:51:09 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 missingusa 于 2010-2-8 03:15 编辑

2. The following appeared in a letter sent by a committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres.

"Seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Since then, average property values have tripled in Brookville. In order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, we should adopt our own set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Grounding on the fact that average property values of Brookville have tripled after the local community adopted a series of restrictions on how the community’s yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted seven years ago, and then making the hypothesis that the same situation will happen to Deerhaven Acres as well, the author curtly draws the summary that Deerhaven Acres should adjust their plan to the restrictions on landscaping housepainting in order to raise property values.

However, the author obviously has overlooked other alternatives that have caused the escalation in the property values. For a start, for instance, perhaps the same method loses its power effective as it used to be seven years ago. It is entirely possible that this idea was original and encouraging enough at that time to attract the retail traders to open stores or malls there, making the place a crowded shopping centre bit by bit, thus boost the values of properties tremendously. And here the second alternative comes. Perhaps it is not the limitation but some other reasons such as developing income that have enabled Brookville to achieve the success in property values. Hence the author should reckon the reasons of the upswing in essence. All roads lead to Rome. Therefore, in order to attract more merchants to trade in Deerhaven Acres, there exists else measures, which could substitute the introduction of that limitation, such as hiring more traffic police to ameliorate traffic condition. As a suggestion, the author needs to figure out the essential way which meets the goal of Deerhaven Acres to rationalize the advice.

In addition, it is also not so wise adopt the Brookville-style astriction in regardless of the difference between these two districts. It might be the case that this action may cause nothing but an unexpected disaster in that the local people have no idea about how to landscape the yards and color the exteriors of homes in a proper way as those in Brookville did. Ultimately, it might cost much to purchase a large amount of paint and make little profits for not looking the way as intentioned to obtain traders or other opportunities. And what’s more, even if the author ascertain that such kind of behavior is able to simulate values, other homeowners may disagree on it and give other proposal which seems much better than they think. In this case, the author had better alter his suggestions such aspects as advertising the situation that has already happened to Brookville to ensure that the other committees are willing to accept it.

To sum up, the suggestion should be submitted before the problems discussed above have been solved, including the differences between the two districts and the two period of time and so forth. Moreover, it is equally important that whether Deerhaven Acres is worthy of benefitting by increasing the average property values. Also, ameliorating resources in tourism could be an intelligent idea in realizing the target.

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RE: [Clover] Argument2 by 辰 [修改]

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