captainlch作文 2月5日

captainlchUID: 2591903

第一次参加这种小组，请各位多多关照。我已经三战（三战成绩还不知道）了，可能还会有四战，作文总是不理想，希望各位帮我看看作文怎么就上不去。谢谢！
为了保证有效性，我用GREargument模拟软件写的，保证不超时，但也绝对会出不少错-但我觉得只有这样才有效果。
2.5 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For future career success, is relate well to other people more important than studying hard at school?%

As one qualified writer once concluded: We lay much more stress on each people's capacity to get on well with others instead of intelligence and figures, that sounds reasonable to some extent, yet some times contrary views rooted do deep in people's mind, particularly in residents of eastern countries, that being good students, as we can imagine, hard-work in schools of different stages is highly required, hard-work guarantee good job in the future imaginable. In my point of view, however, in modern times, the power and convenience of others from which we can gain need to be much more emphasized.

The first reason seems obvious, however a little reluctant, we must admit that most people are not the men who, luckily enough to be endowed with omnipotence by the god, thus for majority of us, on our way to success, dependence upon others bear us the ability to cope with the problems which no longer we can learn to do from text book nor can we finish by our exclusive seats. Life is abundant with such good examples. In the fierce competition in school, students dreaming of the dominance should no longer reject the opportunity to get a view from others' way of study, thus ideas from others enable
our self-compensation in some errors. and wrong ways. Furthermore, as we step out of the school gate, in order to utilize the resource held on the hand of of others yet we lacked, at that moment we cultivated specific interpersonal relationship with others to get help. thus opportunity to use the resource urgently needed, for example, I have no cars yet I need one to attend an important meeting in due course, face up with this dilemma I chose my neighbor to receive help, in substantial form, a good car with sufficient fuel to reach my destination. In all, no matter how things changed, reliance on others, in terms of resources in various forms, is highly necessary.


Second, sometimes we get reference from other people for things we confronted called for collective efforts, by the same token, however ambitious we are or not, the thing itself need such a tremendous power to accomplish that solitary and exclusive individual power though favored us, it did appear to be so slight. The great wall acts as the concentration of the whole intelligence of the Chinese nation, not the inspiration in substantial forms from Great King Qinshihuang, he lacked the power or strength to complete only one small piece among the whole construction. The great battle of Gaugamela was destined to be the mutual contribution of all Macedonian soldiers, not the will of Great king Alexander, in modern times, does each large enterprise ,which have established themselves as great giants in business, operates on one man, the boss? does war Iraq and the death of evil leader resulted from the shot with the machine gun by president Bush himself?

Nevertheless, sometimes hard-working in school empowered us with the knowledge needed in the process of creation, an imperative course within the whole process pursuing the success. I believed the one instance in reason seems the birth of google, when the two vigorous young guy sparkled with the idea of a fast-reaching searching engine, can we say that they ever lost touch with their knowledge acquired at school? In addition, concerning the creation of theory in social science, say, Revolutionary theories from Lenin mainly derived from Lenin’s original thought and inspiration, particularly the recognition of the problems and matter prevailed in homeland Russia, which all he gained from school.

In all, As general Kim-iL-Sung once theorized, universe is hosted by human beings. Thus human resource, people available when help needed proved to be much more important than the complex yet relatively useless knowledge which we gained from school, I mean for our success. If another better choice, I recommend a balance, a proper use of the two kinds of resource mentioned above in due course, respectively.

eddie23508okUID: 2281260

2.5 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For future career success, is relate well to other people more important than studying hard at school?

As one qualified writer once concluded: We lay much more stress on each people's capacity to get on well with others instead of intelligence and figures, that sounds reasonable to some extent, yet some times contrary views rooted do deep in people's mind, particularly in residents of eastern countries, that being good students, as we can imagine, hard-work in schools of different stages is highly required, (and) hard-work guarantee (guarantees) good job in the future imaginable. In my point of view, however, in modern times, the power and convenience of others from which we can gain need to be much more emphasized.

The first reason seems obvious, however a little reluctant (既然要证明自己的观点，为什么要在这里说“勉强”呢？), we must admit that most people are not the men who, luckily enough to be endowed with omnipotence by the god, thus for majority of us, on our way to success, dependence upon others bear us the ability to cope with the problems which no longer we can learn to do from text book nor can we finish by our exclusive seats (这句太恐怖了，插入语和从句不断，另外发现一个问题，who从句的谓语在哪？是“bear”吗？太长了，我相信考官也不愿意看到这种句子！). Life is abundant with such good examples. In the fierce competition in school, students dreaming of the dominance should no longer reject the opportunity to get a view from others' way of study, thus ideas from others enable our self-compensation in some errors. and wrong ways. Furthermore, as we step out of the school gate, in order to utilize the resource held on the hand of of others yet we lacked, at that moment we cultivated specific interpersonal relationship with others to get help. thus opportunity to use the resource urgently needed, for example, I have no cars yet I need one to attend an important meeting in due course, face up with this dilemma I chose my neighbor to receive help, in substantial form, a good car with sufficient fuel to reach my destination. In all, no matter how things changed, reliance on others, in terms of resources in various forms, is highly necessary.

Second, sometimes we get reference from other people for things we confronted called for collective efforts, by the same token, however ambitious we are or not, the thing itself need such a tremendous power to accomplish that solitary and exclusive individual power though favored us, it did appear to be so slight. The great wall acts as the concentration of the whole intelligence of the Chinese nation, not the inspiration in substantial forms from Great King Qinshihuang, he lacked the power or strength to complete only one small piece among the whole construction. The great battle of Gaugamela was destined to be the mutual contribution of all Macedonian soldiers, not the will of Great king Alexander, in modern times, does each large enterprise ,which have established themselves as great giants in business, operates on one man, the boss? does war Iraq and the death of evil leader resulted from the shot with the machine gun by president Bush himself?

Nevertheless, sometimes hard-working in school empowered us with the knowledge needed in the process of creation, an imperative course within the whole process pursuing the success. I believed the one instance in reason seems the birth of google, when the two vigorous young guy sparkled with the idea of a fast-reaching searching engine, can we say that they ever lost touch with their knowledge acquired at school? In addition, concerning the creation of theory in social science, say, Revolutionary theories from Lenin mainly derived from Lenin’s original thought and inspiration, particularly the recognition of the problems and matter prevailed in homeland Russia, which all he gained from school.

In all, As general Kim-iL-Sung once theorized, universe is hosted by human beings. Thus human resource, people available when help needed proved to be much more important than the complex yet relatively useless knowledge which we gained from school, I mean for our success. If another better choice, I recommend a balance, a proper use of the two kinds of resource mentioned above in due course, respectively.

LZ文章词汇例子都非常非常的丰富，句子多变，这是我值得学习的地方。不过看完这篇文章，感觉一个字“累”，因为个人水平有限，所以只能看懂前面一部分，也只改了前面一部分。刚考完G，感觉GRE的阅读都没这么绕的（可能是我的水平不够，这我倒想看看别的同学看完这篇文章的感觉，让我学习一下），说得稍微尖锐一点，LZ写文章不是为了说明观点，而是在“炫耀”遣词造句的水平，明明很明显很简单的陈述，为什么一定要弄成七拐八弯的呢？贯穿全文，全是长句，相当恐怖的长句，意思重重叠叠。其实写文章就像音乐，句子长短结合，这才有乐音和节奏感，意思简单明了，但是又不乏语言闪光点，个人认为这才是一篇好的文章，这样感觉才能愉悦考官，如果太复杂，考官看完后已经累死了，怎么会有好心情给评高分呢？个人愚见，有不同意见欢迎讨论！

mangohahaUID: 2758178

2.5 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For future career success, is relate well to other people more important than studying hard at school?%
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715字。。。issue也不用写这么多呀，作者打字真快^_^看下文章。。。
As one qualified writer once concluded: We lay much more stress on each people's capacity to get on well with others instead of intelligence and figures, that sounds reasonable to some extent, yet some times contrary views rooted do deep in people's mind, particularly in residents of eastern countries, that being good students, as we can imagine, hard-work in schools of different stages is highly required, hard-work guarantee good job in the future imaginable. In my point of view, however, in modern times, the power and convenience of others from which we can gain need to be much more emphasized
看了首段感觉作者的文章。。。难懂。。。我明白你的初衷，以前我考Ｇ的作文的时候就是写出这样的文章，自己很有信心的给人看，之后被人骂＾＿＾长难句是好东西，不过写文章的目的是１让人能看懂
２最大限度的论证出自己的观点，体现文章的逻辑　而一才是基础，我只看你however 后的部分应该是主题了吧。。。主题很含蓄. ! V  C# \! J1 F* p- Q/ ?
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The first reason seems obvious, however（？为什么会出现一个however） a little reluctant, we must admit that most people are not the men who, luckily enough to be endowed with omnipotence by the god, thus for majority of us, on our way to success, dependence upon others bear us the ability to cope with the problems which no longer we can learn to do from text book nor can we finish by our exclusive seats. Life is abundant with such good examples. In the fierce competition in school, students dreaming of the dominance should no longer reject the opportunity to get a view from others' way of study, thus ideas from others enableour self-compensation in some errors. and wrong ways. Furthermore, as we step out of the school gate, in order to utilize the resource held on the hand of of others yet we lacked, at that moment we cultivated specific interpersonal relationship with others to get help. thus opportunity to use the resource urgently needed, for example, I have no cars yet I need one to attend an important meeting in due course, face up with this dilemma I chose my neighbor to receive help, in substantial form, a good car with sufficient fuel to reach my destination. In all, no matter how things changed, reliance on others, in terms of resources in various forms, is highly necessary.2 M3 w/ q4 M/ U  p

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Second, sometimes we get reference from other people for things we confronted called for collective efforts, by the same token, however ambitious we are or not, the thing itself need such a tremendous power to accomplish that solitary and exclusive individual power though favored us, it did appear to be so slight. The great wall acts as the concentration of the whole intelligence of the Chinese nation, not the inspiration in substantial forms from Great King Qinshihuang, he lacked the power or strength to complete only one small piece among the whole construction. The great battle of Gaugamela was destined to be the mutual contribution of all Macedonian soldiers, not the will of Great king Alexander, in modern times, does each large enterprise ,which have established themselves as great giants in business, operates on one man, the boss? does war Iraq and the death of evil leader resulted from the shot with the machine gun by president Bush himself?: G; G/ S9 [5 y0 @+ U" p5 K

Nevertheless, sometimes hard-working in school empowered us with the knowledge needed in the process of creation, an imperative course within the whole process pursuing the success. I believed the one instance in reason seems the birth of google, when the two vigorous young guy sparkled with the idea of a fast-reaching searching engine, can we say that they ever lost touch with their knowledge acquired at school? In addition, concerning the creation of theory in social science, say, Revolutionary theories from Lenin mainly derived from Lenin’s original thought and inspiration, particularly the recognition of the problems and matter prevailed in homeland Russia, which all he gained from school.* x3 V& e- I6 E5 |8 k0 g

In all, As general Kim-iL-Sung once theorized, universe is hosted by human beings. Thus human resource, people available when help needed proved to be much more important than the complex yet relatively useless knowledge which we gained from school, I mean for our success. If another better choice, I recommend a balance, a proper use of the two kinds of resource mentioned above in due course, respectively.

I的行文思路么？两证一反。。。作者的文章很难懂，也就不能每句看完给予意见，不过对于作者您最大的帮助莫过于劝您，一定一定把句子简单下来。你刚刚说是用A的模板写的，确实吓我一大跳。A的模板怎么能用到T的独立写作中？作者，文章的句式简单不是问题，句式的复杂影响了内容才是大问题。还有每段的首句不要太长，我看了下你第二段首句长达70+，这句是用来提供主题的。希望作者在写每句话的时候记得，把心里想的原本要写成一句的话，改成两到三句来写，真的对你没坏处。如此丰富的词汇量，加上一个不错的提纲，句式简单也能达到极佳的效果，否则。。。^_^加油
语言方面我是垃圾。。。不过也知道看得懂才是好句子的基础

^_^能力有限，仅代表个人意见，如有说的过分或是不对的地方，请您原谅