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2.7日 Do you think success is important, or it is more important to remain happy and optimistic when you fail?
The majority of people tend to take a favorable attitude that success is more important than to remain happy and optimistic, for success is the final target we spare no efforts (好词组) to achieve. However, I disagree with the point of view. In my opinion, when facing (faced) with failure, being happy and optimistic is the most important quality that a human being should have. (主旨明确,语言简洁,完全没有多余,不错的第一段)
To begin with, I concede that no one would like to choose failure (fail) instead of being success, which is very important in our life, because success always proves a person’s work, giving (bringing) much confidence to the person. However, everyone has no chance to avoid (avoid what ? You should mention it here) some period of time, when you got lose in something or in your work (重复了). In this period of time, we may be depressed and unhappy about the subsequent things. What’s worse, some people may do (take up) some extremely actions . For example, Louis Fox, one of the most excellent billiard players in his time, was defeated by no one by a fly (a nobody), and (but) he cannot (could not) withstand this failure, committing suicide (and at last committed suicide). This proves that even if a person has glorious past, once he/she was unable to face the failure optimistically, he or she could be defeated thoroughly.
More over, some people who have the optimistic and happy attitude towards each lose (loss) they have encountered (not even a sentence), this kind of people always be the (major) role models in the modern world. Because they have the right attitude towards life, thus they would draw lessons from their setbacks, becoming more and more powerful. Take Thomas Edison for example. Before he invented a new thing, he would be suffer(ed) from hundreds of thousands of failures, but these failures can (could) not stop this genius man from success.&
Considering the factors above, I would like to make a conclusion that people should remain happy and optimistic when they fail.
文章的语言简练,陈述非常pith-related, 不乏例子,但是感觉陈述稍微有点简单,有时候必要的修饰也是必要的!加油!! |
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